I can't stop analyzing an ex-bf

[livingalife2009]

I dated a guy for a some months. I really liked his personality and we said we loved each other. I really felt the love for him otherwise I wouldn't say it.

But I broke up with him for the following reasons.

1. Although he said he loved me and I thought I felt it but his actions confused me. (He canceled our meeting a lot of times)

2. He has erectile dysfunction. He couldn't have intercourse at all.

3. He is overweight and not willing to take care of himself

4. He has other health problems that affect my quality of life.

5. He has very low self-esteem

The biggest shock was when he told me he that he never loved me and yet he said he loved me many times when we were dating.

********I am over him now and I am glad I broke up with him but I couldn't stop analyzing him*****

Why did he lie to me? How did his lies benefit him? He knew I loved him no matter what and I certainly showed him it.

 

[FMW]

26 minutes ago, livingalife2009 said:

********I am over him now and I am glad I broke up with him but I couldn't stop analyzing him*****

 

This means you are NOT over him.  I'm not saying you want him back, but you're not over what happened in your relationship with him, and you are still thinking about him.  I've been there, it's normal as long as it doesn't go on for an extended time.

You broke up with him.  That's a blow to his ego and some men react in childish ways, such as saying he never loved you.  Sure, it stings for him to say that, but write it off to hurt feelings and trying to gain some power back when you dumped him.  You hurt him, so he hurt you.  Your reasons for breaking up with him make it clear he's going to feel vulnerable and sensitive.  

You made the decision to end the relationship, now let it go and put it behind you.

Edited April 8, 2023 by FMW

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, livingalife2009 said:

The biggest shock was when he told me he that he never loved me and yet he said he loved me many times when we were dating.

You made the right call ending it. It seems he's in denial about a lot of things. His statement may be more  sour grapes talk than anything else.

[basil67]

When you broke up with him, it hurt his ego and so he hurt you in return.   Pretty simple childish behaviour.

[semble]

When he said he loved you, he felt it, he meant it and he probably was.

After he felt the bite and pain of your rejection, in order to preserve whatever was left of his remaining self esteem he told you he never loved you.

It's rather surprising you didn't figure this out yourself.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

10 hours ago, livingalife2009 said:

I am over him now and I am glad I broke up with him but I couldn't stop analyzing him

You're not over him if you're still analyzing him like this. And that's okay, but it's important to be honest with yourself. 

4 hours ago, semble said:

After he felt the bite and pain of your rejection, in order to preserve whatever was left of his remaining self esteem he told you he never loved you.

And yes, this. 

That's all it is. 

[stillafool]

On 4/8/2023 at 3:00 PM, livingalife2009 said:

Why did he lie to me? How did his lies benefit him? He knew I loved him no matter what and I certainly showed him it.

The ILY lie is as old as time and probably the most frequent lie ever told.  

The benefit is getting another to fall for you for whatever purpose (i.e. money, sex, room & board and a number of other reasons)

But you didn't love him no matter what, did you?  You gave a list above for why you broke up with him.

Are you sure you loved this guy or is your ego hurt because now you know the truth?

[JTSW]

On 4/8/2023 at 8:00 PM, livingalife2009 said:

Why did he lie to me? How did his lies benefit him?

This wouldn't matter if you were actually over him.

You clearly aren't.