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Ex watching but not reaching out.


Lifegoeson12

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Lifegoeson12

I’ve a quick question about this. 
 

It was my birthday the other day, I got a few text messages from previous exes and thanked them and left it at that.

however I’ve one ex who watched my entire birthday celebrations via my social media. We don’t follow each other and I was curious why watch and not send a happy birthday message. I wasn’t holding out hope for one but I just found it odd that someone would watch your social media, know that I’d see it and not wish a happy birthday. 
 

The ex who viewed it, I texted them on their birthday months ago, and just simply said happy birthday I hope the year ahead is a great one for you. A nice simple message and left it at that. I wouldn’t expect any message from any ex but i just thought it was strange that he watched it all but didn’t bother to text.

I know this is me reading into it but why bother watching? My friend said she thinks he was just curious and maybe wanted me to see he watch watching 

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ExpatInItaly

I agree with your friend. He was just curious. 

This is why it's better to purge some exes from socia media. It gets into our heads too much when it's not even worth a second thought. 

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I wasn't aware that people could see who had looked at their social media posts. 

People can watch your social media without sending a message for a variety of reasons, your ex was simply curious about what you were doing for your birthday and enjoyed watching, without necessarily wanting to make contact. There's no need to try to guess what his intentions were.

Don't let it detract from your own joyous occasion.

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Lifegoeson12
14 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I agree with your friend. He was just curious. 

This is why it's better to purge some exes from socia media. It gets into our heads too much when it's not even worth a second thought. 

I agree, I’d assume it was just curiosity. Also we aren’t connected on social media. We didn’t  end on extremely bad terms so we just unfollowed each other as opposed to blocking so he probably just looked me up for the birthday. 

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7 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

I’ve a quick question about this. 
 

It was my birthday the other day, I got a few text messages from previous exes and thanked them and left it at that.

however I’ve one ex who watched my entire birthday celebrations via my social media. We don’t follow each other and I was curious why watch and not send a happy birthday message. I wasn’t holding out hope for one but I just found it odd that someone would watch your social media, know that I’d see it and not wish a happy birthday. 
 

The ex who viewed it, I texted them on their birthday months ago, and just simply said happy birthday I hope the year ahead is a great one for you. A nice simple message and left it at that. I wouldn’t expect any message from any ex but i just thought it was strange that he watched it all but didn’t bother to text.

I know this is me reading into it but why bother watching? My friend said she thinks he was just curious and maybe wanted me to see he watch watching 

Do you and the ex have some shared space among friends?

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Does he usually send birthday wishes to people who he's not close to?   I know it's a thing on social media where all and sundry send birthday wishes, but perhaps he's like me and doesn't bother sending them unless it's a super close friend.  

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9 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

 i just thought it was strange that he watched it all but didn’t bother to text.

Maybe it's time to reset your social media and privacy settings. Get rid of dead weight and review who can see your content. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

He may be involved with someone so commenting would be inappropriate. Try to reduce the number of exes on social media so that when you start dating again, your social media profiles are fresh and free from the past. 

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10 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

 I’ve one ex who watched my entire birthday celebrations via my social media. 

 Hopefully you're over any exes from the past. Is that this ex? :

 

 

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ExpatInItaly
10 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

 we just unfollowed each other as opposed to blocking so he probably just looked me up for the birthday. 

Then perhaps you need to consider blocking him now. 

It's taking up too much space in your head. 

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What social media is it? I'm thinking it's tiktok as they don't seem to have any clue about privacy.

I've used my man's social media to look around because I'm curious and of course I cannot post anything nor comment on anything! So there, I guess you never thought it could be someone else other than him. Don't rule that out, because I'm the proof it can happen.

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6 hours ago, JTSW said:

I think it's weird sending ex's happy birthday messages.

Me too.  When it's over, it's over and time to move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I watch all that's available of multiple exes social media. I am often bored and have some down time. I don't actually miss or want to communicate with any of them. It's just curiousity in how their lives are turning out after me...

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OP, have you never gone through social media to search people that you’ve previously known - to see what they are doing and where they are in life? 

I wouldn’t think anything more than he was thinking of you on that day and he was curious to see what you were doing. He didn’t care enough to send you a message. 

As Ariana Grande would say - thank you, next. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 4/10/2023 at 12:49 PM, Lifegoeson12 said:

, I texted them on their birthday months ago, and just simply said happy birthday I hope the year ahead is a great one for you. 

Unfortunately you seem too chumy with your exes. This is going to hinder moving forward and dating again. 

It would be best to delete and block all your exes and ALL their people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Especially if their friends are calling you while you're out on dates. Please take care of your future happiness rather than wondering what exes from the past are up to.

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Ageless Wisdom23

Today, My Ex reached out with a Gif and a Happy Birthday.  Periodically, We stay in touch.  He would take me back tomorrow if I would decide to go back.  I was the dumper nearly a year ago.  I didn't handle it correctly(Four years together) when I broke it off.  It began with me wanting a break-space but ended up with me showing hostility and resentment for things in our relationship and I had relentlessly plastered it all over online and  to even his Emails, FB.  Now we just have Google Chat and try to be civil.  With your own Ex who only watched but said Nothing, He may have not wanted to get anything going by saying anything.  Not even "Happy Birthday."  However, Sometimes Actions do Speak Louder than Words.🥰

Edited by Ageless Wisdom23
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