Is this manager micromanaging me? How do you know if you are being micromanaged?

[Chloeflowers]

My desk is at a corner and a few inches away right beside me sits on of the other managers from another unit-shes not manager. Everytime I get something out of my purse, or my lunchbox I catch her looking my way. And everything someone comes over to my desk and asks me a question- she turns her head and looks at me to see what I’ll say. Like awhile back I was having a convo with a coworker about a movie I was going to see. Then a few days ago-she was sitting at her desk and just asked out loud did anyone see “so and so” movie? Not really asking directly to someone. Then she she “i heard you and him talking about that movie cuz my kids wanted to see that.” 
 

I just thought it was weird because I remember the entire time I was having that movie convo with that coworker she was sitting at her desk looking at her computer pretending to be working but was listening to every detail of my conversation. Like acting she wasnt paying attention. Why would she bluntly turn her head everytime to look at me and hear what I’m going to say to someone else when another coworker is talking to me and it doesnt pertain to her?

Edited April 11, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[basil67]

Micromanaging is when your manager needs to cross check every bit of your work.  Or when they don't allow you any autonomy.  So no, this isn't micromanaging.

However this is another social problem you're having at work.  Is this a bad workplace in particular?  

[Chloeflowers]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

Micromanaging is when your manager needs to cross check every bit of your work.  Or when they don't allow you any autonomy.  So no, this isn't micromanaging.

However this is another social problem you're having at work.  Is this a bad workplace in particular?  

If this isnt micromanaging, then what would this be called? Keeping close tabs on me and eavesdropping on my convos? 

 The fact that she turns her head around to see what I’m talking about is starting to annoy me. Who does that?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

If this isnt micromanaging, then what would this be called? Keeping close tabs on me and eavesdropping on my convos? 

Unfortunately some coworkers are nosy and bored. It's unnerving but she's not your manager so her attempts at chitchat are simply annoying.

Continue with polite but brief replies. Nobody likes a workplace busybody or anyone breathing down their neck, so you're not alone in this sentiment.

Edited April 11, 2023 by Wiseman2

[stillafool]

Are you still planning to leave and go back to factory work?

[Alpacalia]

They likely don't want to know about your business, which is understandable. Oftentimes when people are socializing, they are looking for a break from work and don't want to talk about their own business.

[NuevoYorko]

No.  It has nothing to do with "managing."   

She's allowed to turn her head whenever and in whatever direction she wants to; so are you.  But you need to learn how to ignore things.

[SoulCat]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

 

 The fact that she turns her head around to see what I’m talking about is starting to annoy me. Who does that?

A lot of people, I imagine. According to your opening post, her desk is a 'few inches away right beside me', so you're in earshot of her and probably in her line of vision too.

It's human nature to direct your attention to whoever is talking / opening drawers or bags / moving around, especially when you are sharing a relatively small and confined space, such as an office.

There's nothing in your post that to me indicates that she's doing anything deliberate to get on your case (and no, it's not micro management, that's a whole other kettle of fish) or to annoy you. I do feel however, that you are somewhat thin-skinned, and overly sensitive to other people in general. A bit prickly, if you will.

The best way is to just ignore her, zone out the office hubbub around you and concentrate on your work.

Or, you could try and find another job, but chances are you'll just have another bunch of colleagues to replace the current lot.

 

[Chloeflowers]

2 hours ago, SoulCat said:

A lot of people, I imagine. According to your opening post, her desk is a 'few inches away right beside me', so you're in earshot of her and probably in her line of vision too.

It's human nature to direct your attention to whoever is talking / opening drawers or bags / moving around, especially when you are sharing a relatively small and confined space, such as an office.

There's nothing in your post that to me indicates that she's doing anything deliberate to get on your case (and no, it's not micro management, that's a whole other kettle of fish) or to annoy you. I do feel however, that you are somewhat thin-skinned, and overly sensitive to other people in general. A bit prickly, if you will.

The best way is to just ignore her, zone out the office hubbub around you and concentrate on your work.

Or, you could try and find another job, but chances are you'll just have another bunch of colleagues to replace the current lot.

 

I don’t turn my head unless someone else is saying my name/coming to me for something. Like she has the people that she manages go to her desk to ask her questions, I know they are not talking to me. However, I don’t turn my head to look at her face when someone else is asking her a question. 

At my previous job, there were 2 coworkers that would always chit chat and one gal would turn her head to look at them. Idk, I guess she thought it was funny or something and then she would smirk at another coworker what they were talking about.

Edited April 11, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[basil67]

I would call her behaviour "distracted".     Given how close you sit, she can't help but be distracted by your movements or personal conversations.

[MsJayne]

9 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

If this isnt micromanaging, then what would this be called?

Just garden variety annoying behaviour. She probably isn't even aware she's doing it.

[Chloeflowers]

Well what i dont get is why she would look at “me” when someone else is approaching my desk to ask me a question instead of looking at the other person who is talking first?

But maybe i’ll just look at her when she looks at me when someone else  comes to my desk to speak to me first. 

Edited April 11, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[Alvi]

10 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

If this isnt micromanaging, then what would this be called? Keeping close tabs on me and eavesdropping on my convos? 

There are times when you don't have to eavesdrop on any conversations. It is very hard not to overhear what you are saying if your office space is small and you talk loudly enough. In fact, perhaps she finds your convos disruptive and is unable to focus on her own work. Use your work for work and talk about personal stuff either during the breaks or after your shift is done.

 

11 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Like awhile back I was having a convo with a coworker about a movie I was going to see.

Sounds like you have too much free time on your hands. Talking about movies at the time when you are supposed to get some work done sounds very unprofessional and like I said, disruptive to others. Why are you talking about this during your worktime? Find something else to do if you don't have to do anything in particular at the moment.  Focus on your work during the work hours and talk about movies or any personal stuff at some other time. That would not give your boss to use any ammunitions against you in case that she has any. Whatever you do, always try to stay professional.

[Alvi]

43 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Well what i dont get is why she would look at “me” when someone else is approaching my desk to ask me a question instead of looking at the other person who is talking first?

Is she also their boss or just yours? What are you talking about with these people about? Why are they approaching you instead of doing the tasks that they are supposed to do? If could be very annoying for her if this is not about anything work related. 

Edited April 12, 2023 by Alvi

[Chloeflowers]

27 minutes ago, Alvi said:

There are times when you don't have to eavesdrop on any conversations. It is very hard not to overhear what you are saying if your office space is small and you talk loudly enough. In fact, perhaps she finds your convos disruptive and is unable to focus on her own work. Use your work for work and talk about personal stuff either during the breaks or after your shift is done.

 

Sounds like you have too much free time on your hands. Talking about movies at the time when you are supposed to get some work done sounds very unprofessional and like I said, disruptive to others. Why are you talking about this during your worktime? Find something else to do if you don't have to do anything in particular at the moment.  Focus on your work during the work hours and talk about movies or any personal stuff at some other time. That would not give your boss to use any ammunitions against you in case that she has any. Whatever you do, always try to stay professional.

This "other" coworker that I was having the movie convo with is one of the custodians-he comes in to clean the office with once a day-and usually socializes with everyone and asks everyone what they are doing on the weekends, even that manager (not my manager) that looks my way is having convos about her personal life -husband and kids with the custodian. I'm a quiet person at work so I hardly even do alot of socializing. I'm usually at my desk working-not talking about personal life-when I first started working there-my supervisor told me that I shouldn't feel like I should feel confined at my desk and even asked if I'm been socializing with other people, which I thought was weird. I'm there to work not make friends. And the custodian guy-movie convo guy I found him distracting since he was asking me about my weekend plans I would have been tight lipped-but since some people in the office think I'm the weird quiet antisocial girl in the office i didn't want to come off as rude. 

And that manager being "distracted?" Not likely-she's having 20 minute convos about her kids with that custodian guy. 

[Chloeflowers]

44 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Is she also their boss or just yours? What are you talking about with these people about? Why are they approaching you instead of doing the tasks that they are supposed to do? If could be very annoying for her if this is not about anything work related. 

The coworkers in my dept that approach me at my desk have work related questions, I doubt it has anything to do with "distraction." Since she is a boss- people approach her to ask her questions-of course she has to be open for questions if her employees need help with something. She also socializes with her employees at their desk and vice versa. However when one of her employees goes to chit chat or ask a work related question-I don't turn my head to look at her.

[basil67]

4 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

However when one of her employees goes to chit chat or ask a work related question-I don't turn my head to look at her.

So you do you.   And she does her own thing.

[ShyViolet]

She "looks" at you?  Seriously?  No, that is not micromanaging and it sounds like you are the one being a little unreasonable and paranoid here.  I imagine it would be a little hard for her not to look at you if her desk is literally inches away from yours, as you describe it.  I think you need to stop fixating on her so much and every little thing she does.  Just learn to ignore her and go about your day.  

[Alpacalia]

It's clear that you have invested a lot of time and energy into scrutinizing the activities of your colleagues. Can you try to focus on your own work and make an effort to not let the actions of your coworkers affect you so much?

If I had to guess it sounds like you may be feeling anxious or paranoid.

Edited April 12, 2023 by Alpacalia

[NuevoYorko]

5 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Well what i dont get is why she would look at “me” when someone else is approaching my desk to ask me a question instead of looking at the other person who is talking first?

You don't need to "get" it.  Frankly, it's none of your business why she looks wherever.   YOU are the one with the problem, and it's yours to deal with.  

Maybe you can go to your supervisor and ask to have a desk in a closet.  I'm only half joking - you are so preoccupied with all the things people say and do around you at work that I can't imagine how you can get anything done.  

[JTSW]

Honestly, the only one with the problem here is you OP.

You don't seem to get on well in a working environment and over analyse every little thing.

So she looks at you, its not a crime.

I don't see anything she is doing wrong here.

You are making a big deal out of nothing. 

You need to evaluate your issues because the only weird behaviour is yours.

 

[Chloeflowers]

20 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

No.  It has nothing to do with "managing."   

She's allowed to turn her head whenever and in whatever direction she wants to; so are you.  But you need to learn how to ignore things.

I’m going to look at her when she looks at me. I’m also allowed to turn my head. Seems like her and me have too much time on our hands anyway. 

[SoulCat]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

I’m going to look at her when she looks at me. I’m also allowed to turn my head. Seems like her and me have too much time on our hands anyway. 

Nobody will dispute that you are allowed to turn your head. Of course you are. But to what end, exactly?
What on nearth makes you think that this is a good idea? 
It solves absolutely nothing, and you'll just end up antagonising and alienating her, and quite possibly your other colleagues with such passive-aggressive and childish behaviour.

You could really benefit from developing thicker skin, broader shoulders and a change in attitude, as these sort of fractious encounters will follow you around wherever you may be working.

As the saying goes: 'Wherever you go, there you are...'
 

[Alvi]

15 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

However when one of her employees goes to chit chat or ask a work related question-I don't turn my head to look at her.

Is this just a symptom of something bigger going on? How happy are you with your job besides her looking at you when you talk to someone? Do you find it otherwise rewarding and satisfactory? Or do you find your job to be very stressful and you feel lost? Have she treated you with disrespect or outright with a hostility?

This is not something that you can go to HR for. Either learn it not to get to you so much or look for another job.

Edited April 12, 2023 by Alvi

[Chloeflowers]

1 hour ago, Alvi said:

Is this just a symptom of something bigger going on? How happy are you with your job besides her looking at you when you talk to someone? Do you find it otherwise rewarding and satisfactory? Or do you find your job to be very stressful and you feel lost? Have she treated you with disrespect or outright with a hostility?

This is not something that you can go to HR for. Either learn it not to get to you so much or look for another job.

Well, I’m not too happy, I was going to stick around for another month, but I made up my mind tomorrow will be my last day. 

I don’t know about her being disrespectful-but it may sound silly, when she made the comment about that movie-she said,” why would anyone want to see that movie?” 

Plus a few things I dont like

Edited April 12, 2023 by Chloeflowers