Ex Bf Ignored My Apology Text

[Starrs]

10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Your only move now is to block him and cease all contact for good. 

Don't expect guys like this to own up to their bad behaviour either. You will be very disappointed in life if you otherwise. 

I did block him on facebook, I deleted him on everything else but at the same time I know he’s doing the same thing his ex did to him and I find it really unfair. His ex ignored his apology and he’s ignoring mine. 

[Alvi]

35 minutes ago, Starrs said:

He has said it many times to me apparently out of anger. I think he actually wishes I was dead because the last time met he was pointing a fake gun at me and thought it was funny. 

Wow, I am speechless.  He thinks it is funny to point a gun a your face? You should have run to the nearest police station to file charges against him but instead you still want something from him. And you want an apology from this insane person? Well, forget it. Just block him entirely and get come counselling.

 

35 minutes ago, Starrs said:

 

How on earth did you end up dating such a violet volatile person? 

I thought that we we talking about a normal guy, who treated you badly. But we are talking about a criminal behavior here. Seriously, forget about the apology. Do not write anything to him. Full stop. Go talk to the cops and see if it is possible for you to file any charges against him. But in any case, block him and change your locks. 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Alvi

[stillafool]

32 minutes ago, Starrs said:

I did block him on facebook, I deleted him on everything else but at the same time I know he’s doing the same thing his ex did to him and I find it really unfair. His ex ignored his apology and he’s ignoring mine. 

Why would you apologize or even expect a reply after the way he has treated you?  You should never want to hear from him again or even hear his name mentioned.

[Starrs]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Why would you apologize or even expect a reply after the way he has treated you?  You should never want to hear from him again or even hear his name mentioned.

I’m the type of person who forgives very easily unfortunately. And ending on bad terms with anyone hurts me deeply. I can’t hate him. 

[Starrs]

1 hour ago, Alvi said:

Wow, I am speechless.  He thinks it is funny to point a gun a your face? You should have run to the nearest police station to file charges against him but instead you still want something from him. And you want an apology from this insane person? Well, forget it. Just block him entirely and get come counselling.

 

How on earth did you end up dating such a violet volatile person? 

I thought that we we talking about a normal guy, who treated you badly. But we are talking about a criminal behavior here. Seriously, forget about the apology. Do not write anything to him. Full stop. Go talk to the cops and see if it is possible for you to file any charges against him. But in any case, block him and change your locks. 

Out of loneliness is why I stuck with him. I ruined a good relationship with a man older than me a few years back. He was good to me but I wasn’t when he came back to my life I moved on and had no feelings for him. I never met him again despite him wanting to talk. I was single until I found this new guy I regret not breaking things earlier. My friends warned me he was a bad person. Since I’m 23 I’m looking to date and hoping to get married. My family wants me to have a boyfriend. My dad in particular is saying I’m too old to be single, “where are the grandkids” 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Starrs

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Starrs said:

 he’s not a good person but doesn’t mean he can’t realize his mistakes. 

Unfortunately you're right, he's not a good person. That's why ignoring him is much better than hoping for him to be decent or apologize .

[Gaeta]

17 minutes ago, Starrs said:

 I’m 23 I’m looking to date and hoping to get married.

Then don't waste time on bad men. Dump them asap! move on to next. A man should treat you like a lady, he should care, love, respect you, have patience and kindness toward you. If you don't have that, you dump him. 

[stillafool]

52 minutes ago, Starrs said:

I’m the type of person who forgives very easily unfortunately. And ending on bad terms with anyone hurts me deeply. I can’t hate him. 

You don't have to hate him just stop contact and move on with you life is leaving on good terms.  Cussing him out would be leaving on bad terms.

 

50 minutes ago, Starrs said:

Since I’m 23 I’m looking to date and hoping to get married. My family wants me to have a boyfriend. My dad in particular is saying I’m too old to be single, “where are the grandkids” 

I doubt seriously your family wants you involved with a guy who disrespects you and treats you like he doesn't care.  23 is not too old.  Most women are not married at 23 these days. Get married when you're ready not when others tell you to.

[basil67]

6 hours ago, Starrs said:

I deserve a good apology honestly. 

Yes, you've been through terrible times with him.  But you don't "deserve" an apology.  Apologies are given because the person who did wrong wants to make amends or to better themselves.  If he doesn't think he did wrong or doesn't care to make amends, you won't get one.   The apology is about him, not about you.

What you do deserve is what you can do for yourself:  Carefully vetting the person you're dating and protecting yourself from abuse. 

Also, even if a person was terrible, you don't need to hate someone at the end of a relationship.  A better goal is to have them not occupy your mind at all.  To be free from them

[LatinCoffee]

On 4/12/2023 at 9:56 AM, Gaeta said:

Why is it important that he tells you he was a bad boyfriend? You know he was a bad boyfriend. It's hard to get over someone even when they were bad for us. A heartbreak is a phase you cannot skip, accept this is something you will be going through for the next few months. Block him and go spend time with your friends, family, shop for new clothes, new haircut and why not plan a little trip with your bestie! You will get over him and trust life will send you a better man next time. 

Mayve the OP needed this as a closure. But the OP needs to be with someone that is going to be understanding,communicative and respectful. She even said that they were toxic for each other. 

[Gaeta]

56 minutes ago, LatinCoffee said:

Mayve the OP needed this as a closure. 

That's the thing, we cannot count in toxic people to give us closure. That would mean she puts her mental being & and her will to move on in the hands of someone else, someone that was cruel to her. Closure is something we find within ourselves by accepting it is over and letting go of the things we cannot control....like our ex.

[ExpatInItaly]

12 hours ago, Starrs said:

I’m the type of person who forgives very easily unfortunately.

This isn't forgiveness but rather a lack of self-esteem and boundaries. 

That's what you need to work on, so you don't continue to try to seek validation from bad men in the future. 

[Calmandfocused]

You broke a fundamental rule of no contact. 
 

Psychologically you have disempowered yourself, accepted all of the blame and the very last thing you have given yourself is “closure”. 
 

The message that you have given to your ex is that the relationship breakdown was all your fault. In his mind  he’s come out of this smelling of roses and fault free . He’ll repeat the same pattern for sure. 
 

No contact means just that. Recover from this by reflection, learning from the experience and staying away from him. 

[JTSW]

19 hours ago, Starrs said:

He apologized to his ex gf it’s not fair how he won’t apologize to me when he told me to kill myself many times. 

Ah I see. My apologies.

The same applies to this guy though.

He's not worth your time and effort.

His isn't going to apologise so you need to let it go.

[JTSW]

16 hours ago, Starrs said:

No one here knows what I’ve been through.

There are many people here who understand what you've been through.

You're not the exception.

 

[Alpacalia]

21 hours ago, Starrs said:

I deserve a good apology honestly. 

Okay you'll never get it, this much you know. Not a real one anyway.

I think you very much deserve that apology, but you want to get to a place where you don’t even want it anymore. What good would it do you that you haven’t already done for yourself?

While you may crave justice and stability and want things to be put right, you can take care of it yourself.

You can move on without the apology, and move on even though, at the time, the damage he caused feels like it might have been permanent. The best fit for you is out there, so you can move on.

[Gaeta]

21 hours ago, Starrs said:

 No one here knows what I’ve been through. 

Of course we do, some of us here have been in abusive relationships before. We know about the physical, mental, financial abuse, we know about being be-little'd, humiliated, threaten, manipulated and controlled. You are far from being the first woman (or the last) going through abuse. Women, victims of abuse, always want to fix the relationship, give 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances, always think we should have done something different, but at some point in our life we make a turn around and we don't tolerate it anymore and it starts by leaving the abuser behind and working on our self-esteem. 

You don't 'deserve' anything from him because he owns nothing of value to you. Nothing from him should have any type of value to you. Consider he has vanished off the surface of the planet and you are going to build yourself back and make sure a relationship like this will never happen to you again. 

[Alpacalia]

I do not wish to invalidate your post, OP.

Some women have not had a good relationship and have only experienced abusive relationships.

Kindness is owed to your pain because it is real. It was his intention to harm you. That's different - and your truth is justified and valid - because it's yours - and that's the beginning of YOUR OWN independent healing.

It's going to be up to you to learn to relax on your own without his help, and expect an apology from him in return.

[NuevoYorko]

21 hours ago, Starrs said:

I’m the type of person who forgives very easily unfortunately. 

You're really not.  Here you are on this site re-hashing all the terrible things he did (and you went along with) in detail, and fixating on how he owes you an apology.    That's not how forgiveness works.   It's immaterial though, under these circumstances. 

[Starrs]

4 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Okay you'll never get it, this much you know. Not a real one anyway.

I think you very much deserve that apology, but you want to get to a place where you don’t even want it anymore. What good would it do you that you haven’t already done for yourself?

While you may crave justice and stability and want things to be put right, you can take care of it yourself.

You can move on without the apology, and move on even though, at the time, the damage he caused feels like it might have been permanent. The best fit for you is out there, so you can move on.

He told my friend he despises me and plans to file a report on me. He said he doesn’t care how much I feel sorry. He hopes I cry and miss him. 

[Starrs]

2 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

You're really not.  Here you are on this site re-hashing all the terrible things he did (and you went along with) in detail, and fixating on how he owes you an apology.    That's not how forgiveness works.   It's immaterial though, under these circumstances. 

No he told my friend he is never gonna apologize and that he wants me to have fun in jail. This hurts so much, I wasn’t a good gf but I learned from my mistakes. And he knows I did, I don’t have much money to spoil him as his ex did. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Starrs]

9 hours ago, JTSW said:

There are many people here who understand what you've been through.

You're not the exception.

 

Well I doubt their ex’s planned to get them arrested. This crazy man is planning to make false accusations of me.

[Gaeta]

29 minutes ago, Starrs said:

Well I doubt their ex’s planned to get them arrested. This crazy man is planning to make false accusations of me.

And that's the man you hope will give you closure......Do you see how ridiculous it is? 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Starrs said:

This crazy man is planning to make false accusations of me.

Eh, a decent law enforcement officer or lawyer will see through him and nothing will happen. He's bark but no bite, in other words. 

But you really should not be shocked this sort of lunatic didn't apologize to you. I am surprised you expected him to, honestly. You already know how he is. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Starrs said:

, I don’t have much money to spoil him as his ex did.

Delete and block him. Sorry this went sideways, but you dodged a bullet. He seems like a creep. It's not your job to spoil anyone. It's your job to walk away and heal and free yourself for higher quality men.