should i try harder or just give up?

[ileana]

i'm very hurt today and very confused about my relationship with my bf. he does alot for me and i tell him "thank you" for every little thing that he does. i always appreciate his help and i thought he knew that. but then today i made a waffle and didn't ask him if he wanted any because i didn't think he even liked them and i also thought he was leaving. so he acussed me of being so selfish and not caring about his feelings because i did not ask him. i was shocked of these acussations, i told him so and he got mad and started bringing up crap about all that he does for me and i could not ask him one lousy question about a waffle. i was very hurt by this and he said that i was so offensive about it because he was right and that it is true. this isn't the first time he has acussed me of being selfish, and i try so hard not to be but it seems it does not matter. should i keep trying to show him i'm not like that, or should i just give up? it seems he has already gotten such a strong opinion formed about me that i don't know what and or if i can change it. this is not just about a waffle, it is about alot of things. should i take what he says when he is mad and or hurt as the true way he feels about me, or do you think he was just hurt and blowing off stream cause i didn't ask him? i'm mixed up here, really don't know what to do. please don't base this whole thing on the waffle tho.

[Ashesmum]

sounds like he's giving you a big guilt trip. And you are supposed to feel really bad and kiss his butt so he's happy. If he does alot for you, have him not do so much. Next time he wants to do something for you, tell him you'll do it cause it's too much for him to help without getting it all back in return. If he expects you to do everything in return when he does something for you, then he really doesn't care for you. When people care for you, they do things for you because they want to. They don't want things in return all the time. Sounds like he had a fit and wanted you to feel like #####. Tell him how you feel and ask him if that's the way he's gonna be. If yes, you don't want to be with him. Just make sure he knows you do alot for him too.

i'm very hurt today and very confused about my relationship with my bf. he does alot for me and i tell him "thank you" for every little thing that he does. i always appreciate his help and i thought he knew that. but then today i made a waffle and didn't ask him if he wanted any because i didn't think he even liked them and i also thought he was leaving. so he acussed me of being so selfish and not caring about his feelings because i did not ask him. i was shocked of these acussations, i told him so and he got mad and started bringing up crap about all that he does for me and i could not ask him one lousy question about a waffle. i was very hurt by this and he said that i was so offensive about it because he was right and that it is true. this isn't the first time he has acussed me of being selfish, and i try so hard not to be but it seems it does not matter. should i keep trying to show him i'm not like that, or should i just give up? it seems he has already gotten such a strong opinion formed about me that i don't know what and or if i can change it. this is not just about a waffle, it is about alot of things. should i take what he says when he is mad and or hurt as the true way he feels about me, or do you think he was just hurt and blowing off stream cause i didn't ask him? i'm mixed up here, really don't know what to do. please don't base this whole thing on the waffle tho.

[chick]

hi

 

it sounds to me like he might have some underlying problems......for him to just blow up at you over a waffle is a little unusual. maybe you should talk to him and find out if something else is bothering him. he obviously has some issues he needs sorted out, whether it be outside of your relationship or whether he has a problem with something in your relationship. my advice? talk to him! find out the problem! you aren't going to get anywhere if you don't know his real problem. it's all about communication! good luck.