finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 life is nothing. theres nuthin in it man, i dont find anything fun everything i used to like now looks real boring , i dont find anything exciting, everything and everyone makes me angry, and im always bored on my free time. in free time i just walk around the house muttering in my mind "what do i want to do? i dont know, i dont wana do anything, yes i dO! but what?" and i just go crazy. all i want to do is sleep, and im sleepy 24/7, but i know i shouldnt sleep during the day because i just wont be able to sleep at night and loose sleep for tomorow morning. and sometimes this life doesnt feel real, i feel like i dont belong here.. when i see people walk by, i feel like im not there, im not in the world, its like im wathcing them in TV. i feel like a spectator watcing atheltes playing the sport of life and im just sitting there watching them, but non-existent, like i dont exist in the world. even if im at work and my co-workers would all be facing me and laughing with me about me and giving me 100 % atention, i would still feel this way, i get shocked and feel distant, like im not there but i am there.. its wierd, and it pisses me off. its like im not even alive. i hope u understand what i mean by that... cuz it is hard to describe its like, im dreaming, but i know im awake. its like im not awake in life, and im about to just wake up, but i cant, no matter how much i scream outloud at home when im alone, or how much i brake stuff in the garage, no matter how much psychoanalasis i give myself, nothing works, i still feel like im not awake, alive, i feel like im inside a dream. life feels like im inside a bubble, or a room, and there are windows, or u can see thru the bubble, and thru the bubble or room i see life, but i cant get to it because i cant find the door, i dont know how to get out. so what the hell do u think is wrong with me. this is pissin me off, theres no direction in my life, no heroes except soldiers and stuff who say "quit bein a pussy " and **** cuz they say stuff like that that raises my morale. and thats not a good hero to follow, cuz i dont wana go to iraq and die and not even be able to fight back cuz the cowardly insurgents cant fight u face to face so they use sneaky tactics.. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 You sound very depressed. Have you talked to your doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 i dont feel sad or depressed, i mostly feel mad and restless Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 doctor? well i duno, im afraid of goin to the doctor, cuz i dont want a permament record of me being crazy or something so i can never get a job Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 I just noticed the last part of what you wrote. Are you in the military? Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 no but i thought about joining it, and i still do, but its a little side thought. id think about it cuz it could be a place to find direction in life, but i have no idea Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 doctor? well i duno, im afraid of goin to the doctor, cuz i dont want a permament record of me being crazy or something so i can never get a job Your medical records are supposed to be confidential even if it doesn't always happen that way. I don't think you're crazy and depression and anger problems are so common these days. Seeing your doctor won't stop you from getting a job, I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 yeah well even if i decide to go to the doctor, i cant get myself to do it, im like, trapped , inside, i dont know where i am and if i want to do something i cant do it. i cant get myself to move. this isnt only for like gointo a doctor, its for everything. sometimes i cant even get get myself to go to the kitchen and eat, and ill just sit there, and starve till i get hungry enough to really want to eat Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 I understand where you are coming from, I used to (and even still sometimes) suffer from the same kind of avoidant depressive behavior. I try to turn to the things that I like to do or the people that I like to be with when I have these feelings. Sometimes I need a day to be alone and let it pass. There are the times when you decide to give into it, stay in bed and sleep and then the days when you decide to fight it and get up and do what you need/want to do. There are many people out there just like you going through the same thing. What is it that you liked to do in your free time when you weren't feeling down? Who were the people that you spend time with during the good times? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Call a help line. There is nobody who is 'crazy'. Depression is a physical illness and it doesn't mean you're 'insane' if you have it. Anger and frustration are often symptoms of depression in men. If you can't go out, find a doctor who will make a house call. You are in trouble and need to help yourself. If you can't find someone to make a house call, call your family or a priest or a helpline. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 yeah well even if i decide to go to the doctor, i cant get myself to do it, im like, trapped , inside, i dont know where i am and if i want to do something i cant do it. i cant get myself to move. this isnt only for like gointo a doctor, its for everything. sometimes i cant even get get myself to go to the kitchen and eat, and ill just sit there, and starve till i get hungry enough to really want to eat I wrote my post before I saw this. You sound dangerously depressed. You need to get help in one way or another. You need to see a doctor, support group, or even call a help line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted November 5, 2005 Author Share Posted November 5, 2005 sigh, i did talk to my mom and shes like "everyone is like that, no one knows what they like, and ur still 18 years old, your going through change, every teen gets depressed and thinks about dieing. i even did when i was a teen" so i can sort of believe that, maybe im just still a teen Link to post Share on other sites
rschief49 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 see a doc and ask abou effexor med. my younger brother had your symptoms and took effexer and his life immproved, then he stopped meds and his symptoms like yours returned, try it man, get on with your life. 1 in every 4 people have issues that effect them. no records can harm you unless you brake law and commit murder or something. stop spending your energy restling with this, show your mom these posts. Link to post Share on other sites
rschief Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 my younger brother had those type systoms and he went to doc after westling for years, gaining lots of weight and he tried effexxer and it helped him, he became so confident and vibrant after using 1 month. then stopped and his sympyoms came back. he is going back now to doc to get effexer again. 1 and 4 people do have mental issues effecting them, many do struggle and learn to live with them, many do not. stop waisting energy on this issue, see a doctor and show your mom this post. print it out and show her now. luck, dude Link to post Share on other sites
suegail Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Often the desire to sleep so much is caused by depression, but can other times be, for instance, a thyroid problem. It wouldn't hurt to go see a medical doctor, explain your problem and let them run some blood tests just in case. Thyroid problems can even make people go off the deep end, in other words, basically have a mental breakdown, so your other symptoms should be made known to the doctor, i.e., the feeling of anger, the feelings of a strange sense of reality - I guess that's one way to descibe it, perhaps it's what you mean. There has to be a reason and it could be a physical problem; you really should deal with it, and if physical problems are ruled out there should be no shame in admitting it could be related to mental stress or a brain chemical imbalance. Whatever it is you need some help. With all due respect to your mother, I feel she is wrong in brushing it off as something that happens to people your age. To some degree that may be true, but this does sound more serious. I hope you'll get some help... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Sounds like you're suffering from SAD, seasonal affective disorder. Which can bring on the symptoms that you've described. The restlessness you feel, bordem and anger are also signs of depression. Being indecesive and not sure what you want to do too. I've mentioned this to you before, but you need to talk to someone professionally. CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy will help you - But only if you're willing help yourself. Venting is great, but not DOING anything to change yourself and better your situation will make it worse. Your mom shouldn't be downplaying this! You are reaching out for help and she's demeaning how you feel by saying what she said. I think you need to explain to her and ask for her help in getting you a professional to talk to. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Stop right there. Hold the phone. Go find a copy of Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. You can probably find a copy in a used book store for a couple of bucks. Just go read it. Link to post Share on other sites
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