Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 I've talked to this girl i like a couple times online. Both times we didn't talk for more than 5 minutes and than she had to go do something. They were believeable excuses, but i don't know if she was just to polite to tell me that she didn't want to talk! Should i initiate conversation again? or wait for her to talk to me? I don't want to annoy her! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Leave her be. You've made your approaches. If she's interested, it's now her turn to come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Leave her be. You've made your approaches. If she's interested, it's now her turn to come to you. Totally agree with slubber!!! You have done your best to let her know you are interested it is her turn to make the first move.... Let her im you and want to chat with you if she doesn't she was just playing with your heart and you need to move on !!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 How are you talking to her? IM of some kind? Say hello again. Where's the harm? Girls have a whole lot of people talking to them online, and since you've only chatted to her a couple of times, you might barely have registered on her radar I chat to loads of people on IM and often have to rush off in a hurry, or the conversation peters out for whatever reason. It doesn't mean that nothing will come of the conversations eventually. It just means that (from my pov at least) girls treat these interactions lightly. Don't be timid. Just say hello again. If she doesn't want to talk to you, she'll put you on block soon enough! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 I think i'll leave it be! She has me on her list, she knows i'm here, if she doesn't want to talk than she wont! Even though i'd like to try and talk again, it's not worth annoying her! Thanks for the feed back Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Awwww... All those happy relationships I could have missed out on because I couldn't be bothered to make the first move!! Hey, but I'm an Old Fashioned Girl at heart Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 Is there a chance she's just waiting for me to talk to her again? Or am i just being too optimistic? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 I doubt she's waiting for anything. She's probably just not taking a lot of notice of you, that's all. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a thing. As I tried to say in my first response, IM can be a place where there's a lot of chatting going on, and maybe she's just not looking, or just hasn't turned her mind to you for a few reasons. Try not to read too much into it. Are you really keen on her? This might be a good time to tell you about my friend, who had this really good attitude, which was... the more people you approach, in an 'hey it might work!' way, the more chance you have of one of those things working out. Well you know, he almost Always used to 'pull'... just from his devil-may-care easy-going way of approaching everything. Don't be a shy guy... be a guy who's open to stuff happening. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. There are always other opportunities with other girls. You've really got nothing to lose... have you? Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 If a girl you were interested in was messaging you often, would you take notice of that or just forget about her? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 If a girl you were interested in was messaging you often, would you take notice of that or just forget about her? Isn't it different if it's a girl doing the messaging, though? Women get a TON of messages online. They're used to them, and most of them don't stand out or mean anything very much (again, my pov, but probably shared by a lot of women online). If a girl is messaging you a lot online, it probably means she's really keen . On the other hand, I sort of expect most of the men I have on my IM list to say hello to me, rather than the other way round. And they do. I'm really easy to talk to, and if I have my IM switched on, then I'm up for a chat. So they know it's ok to say hello! Hmmm... maybe this is saying something about me..?? Nah, I think that's just the way things are regarding the sexes online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 I'll give it another shot, maybe even find the courage to ask her to get a drink. I guess you can't get a job until you put in your application! Thanks for the help! I love forums, everyone is always so friendly and helpfull Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Hey, 'shy guy'... you never know! Just remember... keep it light and 'open to possibilities'... getting too hung up on things is really counter-productive when you're having fun and dating! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 Thanks Sami Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 uh..what exactly is youre objective with her? dating? friends? classmate? Anyway if you ask me IM is no place to talk to people, especially girls. First off you dont knwo what they're thinking second usually on IMs , people just end up talking about nonsense (chat) when bored. third, it's easier to lie to someone online or ignore them if they dont feel like talking. If i were you i'd stick witth the conventional phone, and probably emails. And best of all, talk in person which you - A) know what they thinking b) can tell if theyre lieing c) have a real conversation d) have genuine human interaction going on The net is the worst possible place to interact with others Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 Well here's the deal! We were "cottage" friends as kids (young kids) we didn't talk for about 7 years, and than last summer she came over to my cottage to say hi (she lives across the street) we went out for coffee and talked for a while, I gave her my e-mail, and we talked a bit through the winter but things died off..... I saw her a few weekends ago but didn't talk to her. I only want to start talking to her again, because i really like the type of person she is... I'm not looking for a relationship... just to be friends but i'm afraid that i might give the wrong impression if i just start talking to her out of the blue and want to go out for a drink! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I would not balance your whole world on this girl She sounds like : She is talking to numerous people She genuinely takes none of her conversations seriously I used to IM and then stopped. It bores me actually. I am rather a person who would talk on the phone. You know NOTHING of what that person is doing on the other end, if they are naked or masterbating or sneaking around behind their wives/husbands backs. Show me the realism On-line chat is only great if you have family members and are trying to save on long distance charges. Or good friends in school you know and can chat that way. Romance : not really anymore. They change with the tide. Anyone who sits for hours ( I used to ) and relies on every " hello " as their socialization means, is in fact , is acting much like the other anonymous person on the other side of that monitor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 I would not balance your whole world on this girl She sounds like : She is talking to numerous people She genuinely takes none of her conversations seriously I used to IM and then stopped. It bores me actually. I am rather a person who would talk on the phone. You know NOTHING of what that person is doing on the other end, if they are naked or masterbating or sneaking around behind their wives/husbands backs. Show me the realism On-line chat is only great if you have family members and are trying to save on long distance charges. Or good friends in school you know and can chat that way. Romance : not really anymore. They change with the tide. Anyone who sits for hours ( I used to ) and relies on every " hello " as their socialization means, is in fact , is acting much like the other anonymous person on the other side of that monitor. Oh believe me i know what you mean! I hate msn, i like to flirt and read off body language. But for right now this is my only means of communication to her, so i just have to deal with it until i can get her in person! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I only want to start talking to her again, because i really like the type of person she is... I'm not looking for a relationship... just to be friends but i'm afraid that i might give the wrong impression Are you sure this is your true intentions? hummmmm Why is it so important that you get on a forum and ask people about someone you don't want a relationship with? I think you need to be honest and own up to your feelings. There is no harm in liking someone other than a friend. Since you have known her for awhile I think you have also liked her for quite a spell. Let her know. It will help you in your shyness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 Are you sure this is your true intentions? hummmmm Why is it so important that you get on a forum and ask people about someone you don't want a relationship with? I think you need to be honest and own up to your feelings. There is no harm in liking someone other than a friend. Since you have known her for awhile I think you have also liked her for quite a spell. Let her know. It will help you in your shyness. Can't get anything by you ... i do like her in a more than a friend way, but i'd just like to get to know her a bit better and see what kind of person she's grown into! Yamaha, What if a guy who liked you but you didn't like back randomly told you that he liked you! would you be freaked out? flattered? Turned off? Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Be aggressive with her, just go knock on her door or contact her in the most aggressive upfront way as possible. Girls get this vacaant loss of reality online because there's way more guys online than girls, so they think they are top of the world and belittle men. So don't let her crush yourself esteem like that, go mess up her world and make your presence known thru something more than a text message. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 What if a guy who liked you but you didn't like back randomly told you that he liked you! would you be freaked out? flattered? Turned off? Well, if a guy liked me I'd punch his lights out because I'm not bi or a homosexual. You need to just tell her you like her and let her deal with how she feels. She can say yes or no. Be the man she is looking for and tell her. Don't sit back and wish you could, show some action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Well, if a guy liked me I'd punch his lights out because I'm not bi or a homosexual. You need to just tell her you like her and let her deal with how she feels. She can say yes or no. Be the man she is looking for and tell her. Don't sit back and wish you could, show some action. sorry i just started typing and "guy" came out! Link to post Share on other sites
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