mandm14 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 On Friday, my husband of nearly 8 years announced that he slept with another woman on a business trip. It is the first time and he was severly drunk (NOT and excuse). He doesn't know her and can barely recall the experience, at least that is what he says. I feel so confused, angry and hurt. I pride myself on being intuitive and really believed he would never do something like this. I know everyone says that but it was the one certain thing in our relationship. He travels a lot and I have never even asked for a hotel phone number. I TRULY trusted him and am typically not the trusting type. I believe it was a mistake and that he would take it back if he could. Am I an idiot for believing that it was a mistake and that he would never do something like this? It is just not in his character (well, I guess it is) but the people I have told are equally as shocked. Our sex life has been fairly non-existent for several years but we have failed to do anything about it. Am I stupid for believing this could be the kick we needed to repair this relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Our sex life has been fairly non-existent for several years but we have failed to do anything about it. Am I stupid for believing this could be the kick we needed to repair this relationship? First of all, you're clearly not stupid, so dismiss that thought from your mind immediately. While this situation may provide a good reason to seek marital and sex counselling, it comes at a pretty high price. Now, everyone makes mistakes - God knows I've made my share - and from what I've seen here it seems that he's truly sorry for what he has done. But now it's up to him to make sure that you feel secure and trusting in the relationship. I humbly recommend a good counsellor to sort out both your sex life and these trust issues. Remember, sex for a man = acceptance and caring, so even if he never said anything, it's likely that he felt rejected by you. That's not an excuse for infidelity, it's just a little background. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 I can't believe that you have never got a hotel number from him ever!!! Not me i would want to talk with my man while he is out of town every night!! I find that odd that you wouldn't.. How do you know he hasn't done this before and he is feeling guilty now? You don't know what he does while he is away.. Your sex life is non exitence and man is a man they gotta have it .. I don't feel this is the first time .. I would say get you and your h in counselling as soon as you can it is obvious that it is on the verge of disaster and possible divorce !!! Get help immediately !!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Did he 'announce' it, or did he confess it? What were his motives in telling you, do you think? Did you suspect anything, or did he just come clean to you, wanting to let you know? Personally, no, I don't think you're being an idiot in believing what he says about his remorse. I think this genuinely was an 'incident' that he regrets (just reading between the lines). I think that, given what you've said here about what happened and how he dealt with it, you have every chance of future happiness with this man. Have you seen this website? It might be really interesting and useful for you: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/index.html Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Why no sex life for so long? Link to post Share on other sites
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