A married woman of 10 years wants an extra marital affair

[JTSW]

So you basically ignored everyone's advice about keeping away from this woman and got burned.

You ignored the advice about respecting the fact that she has a husband and child and to not get involved.

You cannot see that she is using you, doesn't care a single iota about you.

Now you are feeling how her husband is feeling.

What's your plan? 

[Khan999]

15 hours ago, JTSW said:

So you basically ignored everyone's advice about keeping away from this woman and got burned.

You ignored the advice about respecting the fact that she has a husband and child and to not get involved.

You cannot see that she is using you, doesn't care a single iota about you.

Now you are feeling how her husband is feeling.

What's your plan? 

Yes dear you are right it was my mistake but honestly I fell for her love I am still trying to come out of this, some time its working and some times I don't. Yes you are right all of you said to stay away from her but I just couldn't...

[Khan999]

On 7/21/2023 at 8:29 AM, BaileyB said:

Well, now you know what her husband feels like… I bet she complains that he is too controlling and doesn’t like/trust that she talks or has sex with other men…
 

I’m not sure why - 

She is disrespectful, manipulative, argumentative, and dismissive… but you find her personality “very pleasing.” 

I would say that you need to raise your standards. 
 

When she says that she is not stable - believe her.

The fact that you are looking for support for your own mental health and emotional self-regulation from an unavailable woman who has told you that she is unstable herself is a HUGE problem for you. Your mental health is not her responsibility - it’s yours. And second, she doesn’t care. She has her own mental health issues to deal with and a husband waiting for her at home… You are the least of her concerns…

Thank you so much for your valuable advise I am still trying to be honest it's hard I am just trying my best

[JTSW]

4 hours ago, Khan999 said:

I fell for her love

But she doesn't love you.

She is just using you.

You are obviously not the only one she is sleeping with outside of her marriage.

Continuing this with her is not going to get you anywhere good.

[Khan999]

Update on the affair situation

Hi everyone so in my last thread I wrote that I would ignore her but after ignoring her she came close to me and I wanted to escape from the situation but she fell more but the time I got more involved with her then she started ignoring me more or you may say she blocked me all the way as her husband was around then she unblocked me and say her husband knows her phone password that is why is she is doing this, and all of a sudden I witnessed that she is ignoring me for a purpose and I found she is very active on TikTok and posts all the time her videos, I asked her many times she said you have a very cheap mentality you never trust me and you think all the time I am speaking to other men, this is a repetitive cycle, she also doesn't want to lose me than she says we can be friends only and I can't be with you any more but I love you than again I start ignoring her but again she comes close to me in the result my mental health is so affected that I failed this trimester and lost my job as I am thinking of her all the time I tried to divert my self by doing different things like going on walks, running but nothing is working for me I started smoking heavily now and currently I have no job I failed my exam, and I end up coming to my sister place. I don't want to share this with her as I know what she will be feeling, I am also looking for a mental therapist as I just can't concentrate on myself - I lost all my self-esteem by begging her and expressing my feelings again and again even I cried in front of her  I started consulting an Astrologist they say she loves you but there are men around her and she is speaking and she has open options with them which affected my mental health more. It's almost 6 months now I have been here in Australia and I lost everything here. One time I saw myself when we went to college she left me and sat with another guy whom she didn't know and started talking with him and he barely knew her as we studied online I saw she went to the kitchen and started making tea I thought she was making tea for me but actually she was making tea for him and sat with him, and the day before we were together in the room and we had a very good time. This is just one example and there are many others that I saw.  I know what is happening but I am honestly lost. Now she blocks me most of the time and unblocks me for some minutes msgs me and then blocks me all the way. When I blocked her she started contacting me again by calling me as I got the notifications then again I unblocked her. And says I do love you and this is the truth like she comes closer to me and then ghosts me again. I am also thinking to go back to Pakistan. I came here to start a new life but I end up lossing everything. 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Khan999 said:

. I am also thinking to go back to Pakistan. I came here to start a new life but I end up lossing everything. 

Sorry this happened. Agree cutting your losses and going home may be a better approach.

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Khan999 said:

I am also thinking to go back to Pakistan

This is probably the best idea. 

This whole crisis isn't really about her, but about your own fragile mental health. Don't waste money on astrologists. Use that money instead on a real, qualified mental health professional and making a plan to go back home and find your stability again. 

 

[BaileyB]

Agree, it would be best for you to go home and seek some mental health support. 

[stillafool]

You will not get better until you move away from this woman and block her.  She sounds like a very lose woman and I'm having a hard time realizing what in the world do you see in her.  You see how she's treating her husband by going after other men, so I can't imagine why you would think she'd show any loyalty to you.