THIS IS NOT OK

[CherryCola70]

Hi everyone,



I just want to know everyone's take on this situation. Just before I explain what happend. I'm no longer in a relationship with this guy anymore. It really took a toll on my mental health



I use to be in a relationship with this guy. One night he said to me "I think my sister is way better looking than you!" If you were to stand next to her she has better t*ts than you and she has a better a** than you."



Immediately I broke up with him after he said those vile comments. (He has never physically met his half sister (but he likes to acknowledge her as his full blood sister) she lives in a different country to him. They chatted on Messenger all the time. His half sister always posted photos and videos of her in lingerie on her fb page for everyone, friends, family and rest of the public to see. This is how he was able to constantly see photos & videos of her in lingerie.



When I confronted him about him basically admitting he is sexually attracted to his half sister. He straight up denied it. When I told his parents about the vile comments they said "Oh don't worry. It's not a big deal. He just said it to hurt u. Nothing suspicious is going on. He isn't sexually attracted to his sister. They live in different countries."



That is crazy, right?? Who the hell describes their sister or half sister in a sexual way? Who compares their gf to their half sister in a sexual way? I was so shocked that his parents were defending his vile behavior. Who else thinks this isn't normal??

[basil67]

That was an appalling statement he made!  Glad you dumped him straight away.   But why did you snitch to his parents?  The reason you broke up is none of their business.

Not, defending his actions, but I think it's worth noting that some of us (myself included) can objectively appreciate the looks of another without being sexually attracted to them.  So best to not make assumptions on that front.  

[CherryCola70]

Hi Basil67, thank you for your response. I told his parents because I thought they would agree that what he said was not healthy behavior. He needs to be in a mental institution and get the help he needs. What if he decides to act on those perverted comments and sexually assaults his half sister. 

 

If he had said "I think my sister is beautiful. I'm really proud of her."  That is totally acceptable & understandable.  The way he described her was so disgusting and not  normal. 

[basil67]

Oh come on....the guy is clueless, thoughtless and an idiot.  But that hardly makes him a potential sex offender!    And I don't know what country you live in where people can be locked up for something something distasteful. 

 

[basil67]

23 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Oh come on....the guy is clueless, thoughtless and an idiot.  But that hardly makes him a potential sex offender!    And I don't know what country you live in where people can be locked up for something something distasteful. 

 

*saying something distasteful*

[Weezy1973]

1 hour ago, CherryCola70 said:

That is crazy, right?? Who the hell describes their sister or half sister in a sexual way? Who compares their gf to their half sister in a sexual way? I was so shocked that his parents were defending his vile behavior. Who else thinks this isn't normal??

First, I’d suggest his parents were right that he did say that specifically to hurt you, which is a great reason to dump him so congrats for that.
 

Secondly, now that you’re no longer together, nothing else you’re concerned about really matters. He’s out of your life. Best thing now is to focus on you, and move on. 

[CherryCola70]

5 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

First, I’d suggest his parents were right that he did say that specifically to hurt you, which is a great reason to dump him so congrats for that.
 

Secondly, now that you’re no longer together, nothing else you’re concerned about really matters. He’s out of your life. Best thing now is to focus on you, and move on. 

Yes, thank you for your kind response. I'm very glad I'm far away from that disgusting behavior.

[ShyViolet]

Of course it's not normal.  His comments were rude and weird.  The important thing is that you broke up with him... you're no longer with him.  Forget about all this, stop holding so much anger about it, and let it go.  Put it behind you.  Are you still in contact with him or his parents, or have you cut off contact?

45 minutes ago, CherryCola70 said:

 He needs to be in a mental institution and get the help he needs. What if he decides to act on those perverted comments and sexually assaults his half sister. 

What are you even talking about?  This is a little over-the-top and ridiculous.  I thought you said he has never met her and she lives in a different country than him.  So how is he a risk of sexually assaulting her?  And it's not your place to say that he needs to be in a mental institution.  They don't put people in mental institutions for simply making inappropriate comments.  

I think you are way too intense about this and you need to take a step back.

[Mrin]

Kinda sounds like suicide by cop. 

[CherryCola70]

14 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Of course it's not normal.  His comments were rude and weird.  The important thing is that you broke up with him... you're no longer with him.  Forget about all this, stop holding so much anger about it, and let it go.  Put it behind you.  Are you still in contact with him or his parents, or have you cut off contact?

What are you even talking about?  This is a little over-the-top and ridiculous.  I thought you said he has never met her and she lives in a different country than him.  So how is he a risk of sexually assaulting her?  And it's not your place to say that he needs to be in a mental institution.  They don't put people in mental institutions for simply making inappropriate comments.  

I think you are way too intense about this and you need to take a step back.

Yes I have cut off all contact from them now. Nah lol I'm not angry. I just wanted to see how many other normal people thought it was a major red flag that a bf would talk about his sister in a sexual way. 

 

He was sexually molested when he was 6 years old. He never got proper professional help for it. I think that disturbing event has filtered through into his adult life. He now thinks its normal to have sexual thoughts about his half sister. 

Yeah they live in different countries but that doesn't stop people from booking flights and traveling. Some sexual predators groom their victim for quite a while. I was just trying to protect the half sister. What if he is grooming her to a point of 100% trust. Meets up with her and sexually assaults her. 

[CherryCola70]

7 minutes ago, Mrin said:

Kinda sounds like suicide by cop. 

Whats that? What do u mean?

[ShyViolet]

1 hour ago, CherryCola70 said:

Yeah they live in different countries but that doesn't stop people from booking flights and traveling. Some sexual predators groom their victim for quite a while. I was just trying to protect the half sister. What if he is grooming her to a point of 100% trust. Meets up with her and sexually assaults her. 

This is a real stretch.  It's not your place to protect the sister.... your part in this is over.  Leave this in the past and move on.  It's good that you have cut off contact.

[JTSW]

Yes, his comment was gross.

Let it go now and move on.

[Will am I]

13 hours ago, CherryCola70 said:

Whats that? What do u mean?

“Suicide by cop” refers to doing something that will bring a police officer in a position where he or she will shoot you. 

The desired outcome is death, but the subject does not want or dare to kill himself.

Your ex did something similar when he made those remarks about you and his half sister: apparently he wanted out of the relationship but didn’t have the balls to break up with you.

[Lotsgoingon]

If you want to talk red flags, I can guarantee you there were other red flags before this one. What were they? No way this is the only red flag that emerged. Before people say something this nutty, they typically say multiple things almost as nutty. 

 

[mark clemson]

The comments were certainly way off. However, your reaction to the breakup seems in all honesty to show real bitterness and vindictiveness on your part.

By all means let him go, but consider whether you could use some help with processing your emotions WRT breakups. There's what life throws at you and then there's how you handle what was thrown...

[stillafool]

18 hours ago, CherryCola70 said:

One night he said to me "I think my sister is way better looking than you!" If you were to stand next to her she has better t*ts than you and she has a better a** than you."

Did he just blurt this out from nowhere or were you guys in an argument about what his sister posts online?  If so, I agree with his parents that he just told you that to hurt you in the argument.  However that doesn't mean that he does not think his sister has an amazing body.  So, facts are facts, but it doesn't mean he wants to have sex with his sister.  My brother is terribly good looking, but I've never wanted a sexual relationship with him.