Ladies what works on you?

[jack]

Previously I recieved advice to back off after my ex broke up with me. Unable to do this I am trying to win her back with occasional phone calls & sending flowers (no red roses) & teddy bears mainly on our monthly anniversary. At first this seemed to be pushing her further away but after the last flower delivery SHE CALLED, we talked & I gave her a lift to a friends house & we had a good conversation (non relationship stuff). What I need is advice on what other methods I can use to show her I am thinking of her & want her back without seeming desperate or pushy. SOMTHING ORIGINAL that a lady would appreciate or find sweet. I realize that calling or sending flowers too frequently is a turn off.

[chick]

sorry buddy, this ain't what you want to hear, but you really need to forget about the nice gifts and gestures and move on. haven't you been told this a hundred times already?? don't you think if she was still interested in you, she would have come back to you by now? so you had a good conversation about "non-relationship stuff" recently after she called you.......i would think if she wanted to get back with you, she would have called you to talk about her undying love for you, not to talk about "non-relationship stuff". and then she used you for a lift to her friends house. you aren't getting anywhere with her, can't you see??!!!

 

you don't need any other methods to show her you are thinking about her.....she's got that message loud and clear already from the flowers and the phonecalls........and it doesn't look like she has come running back to you, does it? STOP calling her, STOP sending flowers and MOVE ON with your life. your ex has obviously moved on, now it's your turn. you need to accept that she's not coming back, and that while you may have spent a wonderful two years together, it is now OVER and time to get on with your life. you are making this really hard on yourself and even harder on her. there's nothing wrong with staying friends but for now, do yourself a favour and move on.

[sparkle]

Hi Jack,

 

I agree with chick. Pay attention to what she wrote.

 

Yeah that's great that she called back and you gave her a lift, but she will get SICK of it, totally sick of it, if you don't stop it THIS SECOND.

 

STOP CALLING HER. Cut off all contact with her. No phone calls. No emails. No flowers. No teddy bears. NOTHING. PERIOD. Don't even call her to explain that you won't be calling anymore. Just cut it off immediately, without any explanations.

 

This is the only way you have any hope of her wanting to talk to you. Pretend that you disappeared off the face of this earth, or at least make her think you did. ONE MORE phone call, ONE MORE flower, ONE MORE gift, and she will DEFINITELY 100% WITHOUT A DOUBT see that you are:

 

D e s p e r a t e ! !

 

P u s h y ! !

 

P a t h e t i c ! !

I realize that calling or sending flowers too frequently is a turn off.

That is an understatement. Calling or sending her anything at all not only frequently, but even ONCE more, will turn her completely off.

 

The second you start acting like you have forgotten about her is the second she will call you on her own.

[catt]

Something in your post that I found quite humourous was your last sentence: "I realize that calling or sending flowers too frequently is a turn off." Clearly, you don't quite seem to get the fact that an ex-boyfriend who is bordering on stalker could also be a major turn off.

 

Listen, nothing we say here is going to help you because you only want to hear what you want to hear. The thing is, NOTHING is going to work on her. She wants to be alone, away from you, out of the relationship. There is no amount of clever little plans that will win her heart again. If I were her, I'd have given you a piece of my mind by now but I'm sure she'll get to that point really soon.

 

Something to think about: I remember reading in one of you other posts that she broke up with you because she thought you were unattentive and uncaring. Obviously, that was only a small part of the real reason she broke up with you. If that were the only reason, she would have taken you back by now after showering (or rather, drowning) her in the gifts and flowers you have bestowed upon her. Seems to me, it was only an excuse to give you your walking papers.

[Kathryn]

I agree with everyone else here. She wants you to leave her alone! She may be flattered on one level ,that you are paying so much attention to her, but she doesn't want to be with you. It's clear to everyone else here, why don't you listen? Leave her alone, don't seek her out in any way. Let her wonder where you have gone! That's probably the only way she'll be interested in you! You are coming on WAY too strong!!

Something in your post that I found quite humourous was your last sentence: "I realize that calling or sending flowers too frequently is a turn off." Clearly, you don't quite seem to get the fact that an ex-boyfriend who is bordering on stalker could also be a major turn off. Listen, nothing we say here is going to help you because you only want to hear what you want to hear. The thing is, NOTHING is going to work on her. She wants to be alone, away from you, out of the relationship. There is no amount of clever little plans that will win her heart again. If I were her, I'd have given you a piece of my mind by now but I'm sure she'll get to that point really soon. Something to think about: I remember reading in one of you other posts that she broke up with you because she thought you were unattentive and uncaring. Obviously, that was only a small part of the real reason she broke up with you. If that were the only reason, she would have taken you back by now after showering (or rather, drowning) her in the gifts and flowers you have bestowed upon her. Seems to me, it was only an excuse to give you your walking papers.