westernxer Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 I just wanted to wish you the best, ppl here tend to judge out of bitterness and anger. What are people supposed to say? I recognize that Wyldflower has needs, but infidelity (on his part) isn't something to smile about without grinding your teeth first. The exuberance sounds like something straight out of high school. This isn't something to pop a cork to. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 What are people supposed to say? I recognize that Wyldflower has needs, but infidelity (on his part) isn't something to smile about without grinding your teeth first. The exuberance sounds like something straight out of high school. This isn't something to pop a cork to. Nicely put weternxer !! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Nicely put weternxer !! Who? Ohhhhhh, you meant westernxer! :p Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Who? Ohhhhhh, you meant westernxer! :p Are you picking on me ??????????? .. I feel unloved Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Are you picking on me ??????????? .. I feel unloved I'm being a smart ass today, I can't help it... Awww, you know I ya Two dot man! Side note: Where is 933? Link to post Share on other sites
XDOR Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Wyldflower: CONGRAGULATIONS. There are times that true love wins. Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 wyldflower, best of luck to you. i know many have, and no doubt more will, caution you about what may happen. but then again, bad things can happen in any relationship. so yours begins and you no doubt will face all the happiness and sadness that we all risk when starting a new relationship. i know many are so quick to jump on the once a cheater... bandwagon, i won't. i don't know about his marriage, but i do know that not all marriages are happy and worth keeping. whether people consider you to be the OW or not, doesn't matter. whether they say you had a hand in ending the marriage, is not our judgement to make. if he was unhappy enough in his marriage to want to be with you then it is best for everyone, including his wife. not all marriages are worth saving, just like not all OWs end up happy with their MM in the end. and while your situation may not be the typical single guy meets single girl and falls in love story, sometimes life takes intersting twists and turns to get us where we ultimately end up. best of luck to both of you! Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Wyldflower: CONGRAGULATIONS. There are times that true love wins. I just don't see the point in the gloating. I'm sure wyld is happy and relieved that her trauma is, at least temporarily, put aside - but honestly. Don't you think that it's just possible at one time that the MM and the BS felt that they had true love, too? Why is there so much hate for the BS? Why is it so impossible to see the similarities between the women's situations, and the pain and indignity they've shared as a result of unwilling participation in a rather ugly tug-of-war over a person, rather than the differences? It's a painful situation for everyone, and truly, wyld, I hope it IS over. For everyone's sake - the wife included. At least she now knows the truth, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Malifecent Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 woooooo remind me not to tell you guys if i decide to be with my MM....jeez Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 I know! I no longer care about who I offend on this site with my happiness! I think it was said before, that most people judge out of bitterness and jealousy. I am a very happy girl. My man had the heart and GUTS to leave behind a life in which he was secure, to take a risk on a girl that he had loved for years. You don't know the history here, the months spent apart where we tried to live life without each other, the decision on my behalf NOT to be the other woman, despite the fact that every molecule of my being loved and missed him. It was hard. It was painful. There were times when I would be so angry at myself because I could NOT get him out of my head despite months and months of no contact to TRY and live the lives that so many of you think we should be chained to. We LOVE each other. And we ARE together now. He is solely my man. No, his divorce is not final because you have to be separated for a year. And the sceptics can say what they want about that. But I know him. And they don't. Nuff said. I'll go and "pop some more corks" about getting the man I love... since I don't feel anything for his wife and children who miss their husband and Dad. That's just the kind of woman I am! Just ask everyone on this forum (present company excluded of course!)! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 hi there all u guys and gals all sitting on ya high horses on a website that is supposed to be about support unbias advice and sharing experiences and life lessons.this is not wyldflower speaking.three words that popped out of every one of your replies to wyldflower are,marriage, divorce and other woman.these are words that seem to me that in saying them you have absolutely no idea on what love, intimacy,sacrifice, and real life is about. i am 24 years old and i left my girlfriend(not my wife) of four years and i am not wyld flowers man either(for all u shallow lowlifes in here).marriage is a peice of paper that two people sign at a time in their lives when they feel that what they are doing is right.divorce is another peice of paper that two people sign after they realise that what they were doing is wrong.a marriage vow is basically for everyone elses benifit.my grand parents never said vows ,never got married but they loved each other with all their being until one passed on and they were apart for a short time.my grandfather didnt cry,he wasnt sad and he sure as hell never would have reduced himself to the level of bitterness, selfishness and resentment that i have just read in your responses.he loves her and when she died he knew that one day wherever it was that he would reunite with his true love.my first born child is eight months old and the most heart wrenching thing i have ever had to do was walk away from waking up in the morning to see her face.my ex is also pregnant with my second child.so there is the first sentence of this that most of you will read and remember. i could have told you that its all her fault or that i left cos i wanna be free to shag anyone.truth is there was no love,no happiness or anything resembling arelationship.i felt that i should of stayed with her out of obligation to my daughter.MY OBLIGATION TO MY KIDS IS MAKE SURE THAT MY KIDS ARE HAPPY SECURE AND NEVER WANT FOR ANYTHING.do you think that my kids would be happy and feel secure if the only lesson i could ever really teach them is to not try to find at least one atom of pure happiness because you made a vow to love and hold and blah blah blah.because you made a mistake is no reason to spend the rest of your life going through the motions because a piece of paper says so. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 hi there all u guys and gals all sitting on ya high horses on a website that is supposed to be about support you are so wrong if you think that a public forum is unbiased.. Experiences alone will bias someones opinion.. your opinion is biased by your experineces just as ours are.. It isn't about who is better than someone else. Remember that we will alway's be here on our high horses to help you out when things don't go as well as you had hoped Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 Did you read any of the last post.this is not Wyld flower... I just can't be bothered being a member on a forum like this.I happened to be here when Wyld flower was reading your responses and was disgusted.and for the record once again, I am NOT Wyld flower, NOT her man but another man who all of you seem to villify for following our hearts, which is the very thing all you hypocrits are raving on about. I seriously believe now that if I was any one of you, i would be ashamed to call myself my children's dad Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 Think I (wyldflower, not my very affronted friend) should establish that my friend above has just left his family for my best friend, because he loves her. What a couple of dirty, nasty temptresses are we! Or just a couple of women who have found REAL love in a couple of men who come from "non ideal" circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 ...who all of you seem to villify for following our hearts, which is the very thing all you hypocrits are raving on about. I'm not certain that its simply villifying you for following your hearts so much as it is shattering someone else's - someone who loved just like you do, but moreover trusted the WS not to stray, lie or deceive. I'm not saying you are the bad guy (trust me when I tell you that I am purely objective here for a variety of reasons), but in the absence of the 'bad guy' (the WS), the OM/OW are going to be scathingly raked over the coals for knowingly participating and encourageing in that straying, lying and deception regardless of how real the love is. It isn't a great feeling as an OW/OM to have your love minimized and twisted into something ugly - but how can you blame someone for doing that when all they see from the outside is that the love you found as OM/OW was at someone else's expense - worse yet, someone who is perceived as the victim and innocent in this? Yes, I'm happy she got her man. I'm happy that the man had the decency to actually leave his wife so that she too can get a fair shot at life and happiness. G_d knows the STBXW won't find it with a guy who cheated, lied and emotionally abandoned her. Will that happen to Wyld now that she got that same man? Maybe, maybe not - for all we know he only cheated in the context of that particular relationship, or for all we know he's a TOW dipper who will turn and run back to the W (which unfortunately happens more often than not). Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 But I know him. And they don't. Nuff said. I'm sure his wife said that too at some point...But you know him and trust him, for your sake I hope it all works out. Don't take eachother for granted, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I seriously believe now that if I was any one of you, i would be ashamed to call myself my children's dad that is just the bias in you talking.. now come down off your high horse and talk to us not about us Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 victim? the only victims to ever come out this are kids.you are sitting and analyzing everything by the millimetre,making up so many big words that youve forgotten how to feel those big words.ive never sat in front of a computer before.step back off your connection to the entire population of the planet and think about reality. go and watch your kids sleep,because you have lost the plot.this will be my last transmission im disgusted and completely ashamed of the human race. i am sorry i brought my children into this cesspool.i hope i stay happy IN MY PURSUIT FOR HAPPINESS,actually ill die knowing that i followed my whole heart, soul and whatever connection to infinity i have,and i wont regret it.good night ****ers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 since I don't feel anything for his wife and children who miss their husband and Dad. That's just the kind of woman I am! do you think that my kids would be happy and feel secure if the only lesson i could ever really teach them is to not try to find at least one atom of pure happiness because you made a vow to love and hold and blah blah blah.because you made a mistake is no reason to spend the rest of your life going through the motions because a piece of paper says so. Oh, I love those two quotes from your two posts That's called teaching your children to be selfish; with no compassion or sense of morals whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 the only victims to ever come out this are kids. This quote is right on so many levels and in so many circumstances.. I have always felt that there are NO winners in divorce including the OW. exclaiming "I got my man" assumes a winner Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 victim? the only victims to ever come out this are kids.you are sitting and analyzing everything by the millimetre Perhaps you missed this part: I'm not saying you are the bad guy (trust me when I tell you that I am [size=5]purely objective here for a variety of reasons), or this one: someone who is [size=5]perceived as the victim and innocent in this? All I was doing was trying to get you to see it from some other point of view, while acknowledging your own. It isn't your point of view, and it isn't necessarily mine either - but in a situation like this, the more points of view you can see this situation from (even if you don't agree with it) the better chance of sucess you will have in it. If you want to play chess, you don't do it by knocking the board over in anger - you do it by studying the methods and moves of the person sitting in front of you. In this case, the more you see from the other side, the better chance you'll have in the future. Refusing to see or even acknowlege the other side will result in nothing but eventual failure. Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 and for the record once again, I am NOT Wyld flower, NOT her man but another man who all of you seem to villify for following our hearts, which is the very thing all you hypocrits are raving on about. For the record, I don't think most people here are vilifying anybody for doing any such thing. I think the point is that wyldflower, and now you, become defensive whenever someone brings up the point that others have likely been hurt in this scenario. And you respond with, you don't care because you're happy. I realize that you're feeling attacked. But I'm sure that that is not the sort of lesson in empathy that you want to pass on to your children. Most people here are NOT saying, stay in an unhappy marriage simply because you got married. They ARE saying, lying and deceit are not strong bases for happiness, and as for me, I've been saying that the lack of empathy you're displaying - an inability to recognize a certain commonality of experience and an understanding that you aren't really an island in your happiness - well, I find it disturbing, and frankly I don't think it's a good sign that you are going forward in this relationship with a clear head. But yes, that's my opinion. That's what a message board is for - we are all the sum of our experiences, and our opinions may indeed alter as our experiences evolve. Your opinions may alter, too. Good luck, and try to think of others' feelings, when your angry fan spins down and you can consider what we're saying more calmly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wyldflower Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 The funniest thing in the world is when somebody does not see OBVIOUS SARCASM in what you say (the whole "since I don't feel anything for his wife and kids" etc) OK, I'll be OBVIOUS HERE!!!! I am being sarcastic : "I am a bitch who likes to steal other women's men and take fathers away from families... because that is what small minded people expect of these sorts of situations." I have spoken my story. My friend has told you his persepctive. MY man thinks this is insulting to anyone who has a heart and has had to make a gut wrenching decision in their life. Nut you're all going to think whatever you want anyway.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Good luck, and try to think of others' feelings, when your angry fan spins down and you can consider what we're saying more calmly. I agree. And the reason why SO many got upset with you was your subject line "I got my man!!!!" and that grabbed attention - Pissed off afew and some BS's as well as any other person who looked. You're an adult, not a child and saying" I GOT MY MAN" is so highschool, like you stole a boy from girl friend of yours or something. IF you cannot understand that aspect of it, well, that's your problem. Good luck and remember again, HIS wife thought she knew him well too. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 The funniest thing in the world is when somebody does not see OBVIOUS SARCASM in what you say (the whole "since I don't feel anything for his wife and kids" etc) OK, I'll be OBVIOUS HERE!!!! I am being sarcastic : "I am a bitch who likes to steal other women's men and take fathers away from families... because that is what small minded people expect of these sorts of situations." I have spoken my story. My friend has told you his persepctive. MY man thinks this is insulting to anyone who has a heart and has had to make a gut wrenching decision in their life. Nut you're all going to think whatever you want anyway.... get some xanax already Link to post Share on other sites
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