jc Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I did NC for three straight weeks. I was doing really good. I was angry at him, rather than sad (I prefer anger any day!). Then my grandpa died and C began calling, messaging and emailing me to say he was sorry. I held out for 2 days strong, then I picked up and got really mad at him because he hadn't been there for me while my grandpa was still alive and I was taking care of him. He went to Seattle with his friends for a week to party and didn't call me once. So I really gave it to him. Then I calmed down a bit and we talked. He told me that he thinks he is bipolar and that's part of the reason for all the shytty things he did this summer. I've always known that he suffers from depression, but the bipolar thing puts a new twist on it. He really did seem like he was going through some type of mania this summer, and he really was not acting like himself at all. It's a few months later and he's back to being depressed. I told him to go see a psychologist and get diagnosed if he seriously thinks he has a problem. Anyways, part of me feels like if he is bipolar, some of his behavior this summer is excusable. But is it really? I don't even know if that is an acceptable "excuse". At least he's finally provided me with some explanation for his rotten behavior I guess. I'm not getting back together with him, I'm not even thinking about it right now. But he told me that he thinks we are meant to be together and that we will end up together in the end. I don't know what to make of this...more words? I love him very much, but I want it all: I want love, companionship, trust, laughter, marriage, children, commitment. Maybe we are meant to be together some day, or is this just something exes always say when they don't want to cut the cord completely? Link to post Share on other sites
downcydeguy Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Is that all it takes to get a g/f back? Just claim some type of disorder? If he hasn't been diagnosed by a doctor as being bipolar, don't give him the benefit of the doubt. It sounds like he just fell out of love, got bored, or whatever and is trying to string you along. However, you know him better than any of us on this board so I can only suggest following your gut. Be careful and don't be his fool. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Someone with undiagnosed and untreated bipolar is certainly not someone I'd want to be in a relationship with. Thinking he has something maybe isn't the same as actively working to correct the problem. If he was on mood-stabilizing meds and in therapy and telling you this, then sure, be sympathetic. Maybe there's a future in it - who knows? Until he reaches that point its just another plea for attention, another excuse. I'd tell him that in the shape he's in now, the future is not looking good, good luck finding the answers to his problems, and good bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jc Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 What about if he is actually diagnosed as bipolar? Would it be wrong to forgive him for the stupid things he did this summer if he were going thru some type of mania? Would it be dumb to give our relationship another chance? I know I sound like everyone else on this board, looking for an excuse to get back with the ex, and maybe I am...but really, how can you not forgive someone if part of what they did was because of a mental disorder? I was strong enough to break up with C when he started pulling shyt like not calling me for a week, so it's not like I'm willing to just put up with anything. I have been diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and panic attacks and I know that I would not want the person I love to not want to be with me simply because of my anxiety. When C and I were together, I had many scary days where I would wake up in the middle of the night throwing up because I was so anxious, and C would get up with me and comfort me. I'm not saying that I should just accept his excuse and get back together with him, but I do love him and we are good together in many ways. We have a lot of problems apart from the supposed bipolar thing, but doesn't everyone? Or maybe I really am looking at this through rose-colored glasses...??? Link to post Share on other sites
JohnJohn Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 What about if he is actually diagnosed as bipolar? Would it be wrong to forgive him for the stupid things he did this summer if he were going thru some type of mania? Would it be dumb to give our relationship another chance? ..but really, how can you not forgive someone if part of what they did was because of a mental disorder? I was strong enough to break up with C when he started pulling shyt like not calling me for a week, so it's not like I'm willing to just put up with anything. I know I sound like everyone else on this board, looking for an excuse to get back with the ex, and maybe I am...but really, how can you not forgive someone if part of what they did was because of a mental disorder? My take on this is as follows: You sound a little uncertain as what to do with him right now. In your first post you said: I'm not getting back together with him, I'm not even thinking about it right now. And now are saying that maybe you are looking for an excuse to get back together. Why then not take some time and really think about it? As far as the Bipolar thing goes, that's a judgement call on your behalf. Sure you could forgive him but do you really want to? Just because he thinks he has the disorder doesn't mean that he will actively do something about it if in fact he is clinically diagnosed. Hopefully so for your sake, but you might want to be cautious and see what actions (if any) he takes to work on it. That's of course provided that he is diagnosed officially by a qualified professional. I'd wait and see what the verdict brings. Link to post Share on other sites
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