chocolate_boy Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 So a lot of people know my story, I have been really low and lonely since my girl left me at the end of Sept. However this weekend I got myself together, packed up a bag, called my boss and said I needed the weekend off. Went back to my folks, around people that have unconditional love for me, I couldn't do this on my own. I have started a journal of tasks and thoughts, everytime I feel down, I write in my book, over the last 3 days I have written 27 pages! It is SO theraputic to read, I will post some of the ideas and thoughts from it later as they may help others. Today I got back to my apartment and did something I'd been putting off for the last 6 weeks. Clensed my apartment of everything of hers, went through my bathroom, found some of her make-up, in a garbage bag, her hairbrush and clothes from my room, went through my laundry basket, found some of her clothes in the bottom of it... was going good til I found a sexy bra I bought her on our first weekend away in London.. that reduced me to tears, but hey, in the bag it went. I got the photo taken of us infront of the pyramids in Egypt that I had framed in my living room, smashed the glass through with a hammer, in the bag... Her cereal out of the kitchen. Some of her DVDs she never collected, in the trash. Then worst bit.. opened my wardrobe, took out the little box.. all her "i love you so much" cards, ripped them to shreads, in the bag. By now I'm howling like a mad man.. but I feel like she's out of my life. Although my apartment does look a little bare! I was like a man on a mission. Now it all goes in the journal this evening! I've only decided I'm not getting her back, or taking her back in the last 3 days, let the healing begin... this hopefully won't take too long now I'm on this train of thought. Thanks for all your support guys, love u all ! Chocco x Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 i did this...threw everything away. i decided that even in the remotest chance we would reconcile, this was stuff that represented something that went horribly wrong. i felt so free afterwards. like i was in control again, like a weight was lifted. my stuff is still at his apartment, all the way across the other side of the world. i guess the next big step is telling him to bin it all, i don't think he would have done that already. havent quite got round to that stage, but i will. in time. i think we are both too cowardly to face it, coz he hasnt mentioned my stuff at all. glad you're finding your way through the fog...let the healing begin- amen to that!!! good luck...you're doing great at a very tough job! Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Good for the both of you. Clearing a way things of an ex is a healthy step. Realistically how can having items around of theirs do anything but bring back memories. Writing is also a great way to sort through the feelings you are going through and what's great is you don't have to censor yourslef or be polite or wirte the correct thing just let it out. It's is a form of liberation of the things that represented them. Its a process and I just want to say I feel for you. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
patwheel Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 Great news man! I did exactly the same thing, and I had to. But of course, my hopelessly-romantic mother says dont throw anything away, you'll regret it later on, so I put them in a closet, in black plastic bag. Anything material that I could put away was done, but of course, a relationship is more than material, and sometimes just hearing our song "you're my sunshine", just makes me break down...I've asked my friend not to talk about her anymore, my mother also. Anything that will help the process of letting go and make peace with the situation is great! Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Yeah this stage is hard, I spoke to a friend I haven't seen in a few months today, and he asked how she was doing.. ouch. Not to know but it brings it all back when you hear that. I've woken up at 4am again! GRRRR I really need to beat this, I think tommorrow I will try staying up til 4am and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikita20 Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Don't worry, in time you will get back to your normal sleeping pattern. I remember those 3am wake ups. Ugh!! I would wake up with anxiety and panic. But, over time, it subsided. I think it took me about a week or two to finally get over that. Now, I'm sleeping well, but, when I wake up each morning, I feel like I have a ton of bricks on me. I dread the mornings. However, once I get up and as the day goes on I feel a little better. I've never gone through so much heartache in my entire life. But, I know I will get over this and so will you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Yeah these 4am wake-ups have been with me since the split now, since end of Sept its so annoying. But I used to just lie in bed and try and get back to sleep, often just thinking about the split/her for hours on end. Now I don't when I wake at 4am, I try and sleep for 10 mins, if it doesn't work, I get up, put TV and lights on, make some breakfast and do some work. I need an afternoon nap every day at the moment which is very inconvenient, but its the only way I can get through the evening (when I work). Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 oh I had the 3:30am wake up in a panic sweating after dreaming about my ex.Lasted about 3 weeks straight I think it was part of relationship withdrawal as well.Nothing in my life has hit me so hard as separation/divorce it so life altering and stressful. Link to post Share on other sites
SMHappyface Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 I do the journal thing. Since I'm trying to do the NC thing and allow him to contact me if he wants to see me, I write to him in a notebook. I can share my feelings, my frustrations, my hopes and anger there without it pushing it even farther away. Last night was preety bad, I seriously contemplated getting rip-roaring drunk, but I am not a drinker, so I was worried what I would do. I threw some things around in the room, but at the end of the day I hadn't contacted him at all, and I called three friends and made plans to do stuff and get my mind out of the dark place it is in. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 I did exactly the same thing, and I had to. But of course, my hopelessly-romantic mother says dont throw anything away, you'll regret it later on, so I put them in a closet, in black plastic bag. Don't listen to your mother. Toss it all out. It's just baggage, even if you put it in a black body bag to rot in your closet (or should we say mausoleum?). Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 Yeah bin it, I got GREAT satisfaction when I heard the garbage man arrive on Wed morning and knew he was taking away all her clothes etc. she had left at my place, yay! Link to post Share on other sites
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