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She had Sex With A 19-year-old....and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Noah-in-Atlanta

By Noah-in-Atlanta
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Noah-in-Atlanta

Noah-in-Atlanta

Posted
Posted

This is terrible.

 

My girlfriend, who is 24, dated and slept with a guy who's 19 for about 3 months before we started dating. She's reluctant to talk about past relationships, but it's worrying me...probably for no reason. But I hate it!

 

I have a brother who's 18....he's LITTLE! The thought of her having sex and oral sex with a boy this age when she's that much older really really bothers me.

 

I've lost relationships over jealousy before and to bring it up would be irrational. ARRRRGH! It's making me crazy! Help!

  • 2 weeks later...
guest86512348769

guest86512348769

Posted
Posted

You are being irrational. It was legal, consenting sex and has nothing to do with you. Just get over it :)

Jayhawkgirl Member

Jayhawkgirl

Posted
Posted

Why do people get so hung up on what happened in the past!? There is nothing she can do to change it, even if she wanted to, so if you are going to make things work with her, get over it and move on.

 

My boyfriend found out about a guy I slept with before we were together and now constantly makes jabs at me about it (mostly just joking, but it still bothers me.)

 

Letting it eat away at you is just going to destroy your relationship. Let go of her past and look forward to your future.

Tangerina Established Member

Tangerina

Posted
Posted

My BF has had about 8 lovers and 15 play friends before me... he has done a lot of different things and has even had some oral sex 3 ways... if I think about this too much it starts to wierd me out, but only for about a second because then I think... haha, he choses me over all those other people, I fulfil him in some way that they can't AND we have great sex... so whatever!

 

All of this lovin he was getting was from the time he was 16-20... from 16-20 I was with the same guy... when I told my BF that I was a litte intimidated by his experience he was like... "why? you have done all the same things that I have done, just with the same person..." he was right, I am just as experienced and I don't feel jealous anymore... It's all about perspective, it is only a big deal if you make it one...

 

Now, if your GF found ways to slip in comments about how she wished you were 19 or something... then I think you have a right to be insecure... but does she compare you guys in any way, or is it just a total no issue with her and only an issue for you...

SmoochieFace Established Member

SmoochieFace

Posted
Posted
I've lost relationships over jealousy before

 

 

The term in bold is the real issue here - not the mere fact that your GF slept with a 19-year old... ESPECIALLY before you started dating her.

Mz. Pixie Established Member

Mz. Pixie

Posted
Posted

Not that big of a difference in their ages to me either.

 

You're jealous. Let me guess, he's a muscular hottie??

 

Your GF obviously wants to be with you, don't be insecure!

Outcast Established Member

Outcast

Posted
Posted

Your brother seems like a kid to you because he's your little brother. People who are 19 can vote, buy houses, and join the army and kill people so they're not too young to be having sex.

 

She is with you now and that's what counts.

TUDOR Established Member

TUDOR

Posted
Posted

A 19 year old WTF :eek:

 

Guess you better leave her. :confused:

 

Don't act like if you weren't single you wouldn't tap some 19 year old ass.

JadeStar Established Member

JadeStar

Posted
Posted

I agree, theres really not that big of an age gap there. It would be different if it were something like 55 and 19, but just by a few years, come on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jade

lilmoma1973 Established Member

lilmoma1973

Posted
Posted

 

Agree with all the posters why make such a big deal atleast it wasn't a 15 yr old then that would be a problem ..not much age difference quit stressing and be glad she is being honest and open with you thats the most important thing !!

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted

OP just ignore it..... if that does not work try chanting "she was born then she met me, she was born then she met me". Repeat at least one thousand times per day...... eventually you will believe it.

 

Really now, it is not the age...... you just feel insecure about her being with any other person. In this day and age you probably will have to deal with this no matter who you date...... or marry!

 

Now is a good time to face that you may have a problem with being jealous.

Unless of course she is still hung up on the man..... then you have a right to feel insecure.

 

a4a

mini696 Established Member

mini696

Posted
Posted

Get over it.

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

Posted
Posted

If you don't get a handle on it you will lose her.

 

How would you feel if a 19 year old girl came on to you? I bet it would make you feel good so don't judge her.

suzy Member

suzy

Posted
Posted

dont do this to yourself or your girlfriend! She cant go back into her past and re-write history, so you have two options a- YOU LET IT GO (this includes any other issues to do with her past) or b) you drop her,the secret option c- IS THAT YOU CARRY ON AS YOU ARE AND SHE WILL DROP YOU! She is with you now and you are the person she has chosen, chances are she loves you and is hurting right now. Tell her your sorry and put this behind you, even if that means going to therapy to help you with your insecurities. If jealousy is becoming a pattern for you, I would strongly suggest that you do that.

 

good luck

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