Sami_D Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 i dont know sami, he sounds like a creep. What makes you think he is a creep? For the first half of this thread he seemed like a dentist, just interested in her teeth. For the second half, it has seemed more like a creative writing exercise by Mandy. I can't see the truth from the fiction from the reality. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 sami i know where you are coming from and agree it could be pure fiction, for what reason i do not know. if it is not though, he sounds like a creep because he used his profession to pretend to help her in order to manipulate her into bed. it also sounds as though it is not the first time. in my experience with mm there is no length they wont go to and he seems like another typical mm. as for mandy she is refusing to see reason at this point. i dont know why but she is in such deep denial that there must be some reason why she has latched all hopes of happiness on to her dentist. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 I must have missed the bit where he manipulated her. I saw her wondering for a while about whether he was interested... then her thinking about and then inviting him for drinks... then her wondering about and then texting him... etc. etc. Sounded more like her laying herself out on a platter to me. He didn't have to 'do' anything much less 'manipulate' her... IF he even did do anything... (and the latter part of the thread wasn't totally made up). But then, that's my reading of it as it stands. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 well i would say that he was being so nice to her for a reason. true she has been making little plans and certainly stories like this dont help the negative stereotype of the scheming husband stealing ow, i agree with that. but then other women in here have said they would never under any circumstance touch a mm, so they would not behave the way i have behaved. that is why i think its not good to be judgemental. i do think though that he has been manipulating her. how many professionals ask their patients to ring out of hours and give them their mob numbers? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 I don't know newbby. 'Being nice'... what is that? Flirting? Reassuring a patient? Trying to pursue things he shouldn't have being..? I don't know, she doesn't know, no-one knows. IF what she's saying now is true... he sounds like a completely inconsistent person who's not in control of who (his W????) reads and responds to his texts, or answers his mobile, but at the same time he's 'terrified' someone will find out at work..? He spends hours at the parental home of a patient chatting..? Then there's some tacky 'make out' session in his car..? I don't know... maybe I'm just too old to understand this stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 She badly wants male attention, thought that this guy would provide it, and has done every 'poor helpless me' thing she can to continue contact with him. She thinks they have a 'connection' and is vigorously pursuing it because in the back of her mind is the hope that he's the prince who will rescue poor her. She posts here to brag about her conquest because she has no compassion for his wife or children - she has said so herself. She will continue to post about her sexcapades with him in utter glee until it goes the way we all know it will and she'll finally wake up to the fact that she's achieved zero - only become the receptacle for his penis because he hasn't got enough sex with his wife and the nurse. He could be a sex addict for all we know. But she will continue to picture him the dashing rescuer. Somehow she doesn't see how pathetic the life of a 'bit on the side' really is. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 ... also suspects that he is cheating with a nurse at work...Hmmm, lets see he doesn't want you calling the office because people talk...OR MAYBE he is having an affair with the nurse at work and doesn't want the nurse to find out about you. God forbid that you and the nurse compare notes and find out that he says the same things to both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 Hi Everyone, i see some of you "attacked" my post while i was off line I cant understand why some people think i am making all this up....geez am i the first person ever to have an affair with a MM?? Scarlet - thanks for believing me and not bashing me about things. I know you would've prefered me to not have pursued this, but i have, its just something i have to do, find out and learn for myself...Thankyou for being there for me, i appreciate it so much. Scarlet we started kissing on the beach during the sunset, he never really makes any moves as such its usually me, and he follows through. We were walking on the beach and i put my arm around his waist and he put his around mine, then when we sat on the sand, i leaned my head over his shoulder where he stroked my hair - he has this thing with my hair LOL he loves playing with my hair, then we kissed and kissed and kissed, he's very affectionate, then we walked along the beach for what seemed like forever, and when i was feeling sick(due to my illness) he understood that i wanted to stop walking and go back to the car.... I am a perfume freak and love wearing really strong perfumes and he told me if possible could i stop wearing them and lipstick:( My gut feeling tells me that is has had an affair in the past or he is currently having one. Why would his wife react that way if she really trusted him?? She obviously has a gut feelng that tells her he is maybe having an affair now, and she may even know that it might be with one of the dental nurses.....I am not sure.....I want to confront him about it, but havent had the guts to do it yet, he called me last night and never mentioned anything and neither did i...... I am seeing him tomorrow morning as i am having my next lot of work done on my teeth, its going to be really awkward seeing him at work, this is the first time since we started seeing each other that i am seeing him at work in front of his work mates, i am going to have to behave..... newby - if he having more than me as just an affair, i want to know about it. elijahBailey - scarlet isnt advocating what i am doing, she is just understanding of the situation i am in and isnt judgemental. I am sorry i dont feel his wife's pain, because its not my fault, i am single, he is the married one, if she has such a problem with it then she should leave him......and to get the record straight i am not tearing a family apart ans destryong his wife's life, he made vows to her, i didnt, he is the one cheating, i am not doing anything wrong here. I didnt force him to start something with me, he was quite willing. Sami...if this story is silly then stop reading this post and stop posting here, simple!! NO you're right support doesnt mean agreeing with someone but it doesnt mean bashing them either, as someone involved with a MM i would've thought you would've been more understanding of my sitaution. Shame on you for judging me and you're doing exactly the same thing. Its the same thing if i tell u what you're doing is wrong and silly and bogus, i cant do that as i am in the same situation!!!!! I have tried to answer everyones questions as best as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 I am a perfume freak and love wearing really strong perfumes and he told me if possible could i stop wearing them and lipstick:( Hahaha yes, he and his wife and his nurse are probably allergic to them both. Get ready, he's prepping you for close contact soon now that the perfume and lipstick are off. My advice...scratch the hell out of his back during sex. Then he'll have a lot of splaining to do. Wow, he really knows how to cheat huh? Gets you to make all the physical moves while he just talks so that when it ends badly he can blame you for making all the first moves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 craig - do u really think thats why he isnt making any moves as such?? Grrr - seems like he is an "expert" in the cheating department. He didnt say dont wear it anymore just "if possible could u stop wearing them" Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 craig LOL @ the back scratching.....if he is a good liar he will probably talk his way out of that to.....i so wanted to leave love bites on him somewhere:D I was also thinking of maybe accidently dropping a lipstick or something out of my bag in his car, wonder if the wife goes in there. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Go ahead and leave evidence on his body or in his car, but understand that it won't lead to the fun you think it will and I can assure you that MM won't think that's cute - I've nearly always been on the MW/MM side of things and can tell you that marriage-threatening stuff like that will lead him to be angry with you for playing like that, particularly if he has no interest in leaving his marriage. Stuff like that adds to the probability of you getting coldly thrown under the bus when the Dday happens. Your worth is not in how well you torment his wife or try to play at her finding out - your worth lies in how well you help him not get caught and keep the status quo in his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 maybe the real way to prove yourself to him is by not being a panty-dropper. what's the point in trying to have any kind of relationship with someone when all you have is an intent to destroy him? if anything, be a lady and walk away. you only make yourself look like a desperate slu*t with these ploys and schemes. regardless of whether you feel like you're getting back at him, he will still have gotten what he wanted (all he wanted) from you. so either way, he "wins". and after you "give it up" you can't exactly take it back, you know? have some dignity. or at least pretend to. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 craig - do u really think thats why he isnt making any moves as such?? Grrr - seems like he is an "expert" in the cheating department. He didnt say dont wear it anymore just "if possible could u stop wearing them"Of course, he isn't a teenager scared to make a move, rather he is cool, calculating and cunning enough to make it all look like your idea. And if you didn't stop wearing it, he would suggest in another way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 LOL Craig.....I am not going to stop wearing the perfumes and lippy and see what he does next......they must be really strong because i have had compliments from two of his female staff that work with him about my perfume...maybe they started noticing he is starting to smell like me:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Sloppy Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Aussie, from my own experience I can tell you that having an affair with a MM is the most intense experience I have had. I can also tell you that with the A coming to an end, it has been the most painful experience I have had. You question yourself, your dignity, your self-respect. It is very different from any other kind of relationship. Back away untill it's too late. I promise it will save you a lot of heartache and pain, and also a lot of judmental people attacking yourself. I've been having to deal with the post-wifefoundout issue. It's not pretty. I've lost my dignity and I had no self-respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 slopppy - walking away is so much easier said than done:( Link to post Share on other sites
Sloppy Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 slopppy - walking away is so much easier said than done:( Yes I know. I was trying to from day one. That's why I say you NEED to do that. It will be much harder later. I understand, I really do. I know you will stay in R with this guy. I hope you have a good time and later remember it, because it will be bad when it ends. Sorry girl:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 I am all confused now, i want to keep going and see where it takes me and on the other hand i dont want to be used and made out i am nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 i would be inclined to think that walking away would be easier than a lot of things.....like all the immature crap you're planning on pulling. newsflash----you flaunt yourself around like a loose teenager, taunting a married man, yet act like you're offended when you're given his attention. this is not cause for sympathy. walk away. easier said than done...please. life isn't easy. don't make it harder on yourself--not to mention others. Link to post Share on other sites
Sloppy Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 I am all confused now, i want to keep going and see where it takes me You will have a lot of fun, but it will take you to very dark places. After it ends, it will be even darker. I know it's very tempting and most of the time you will be in denial. You havent met the wife and therefore she doesn't exist in your mind. She will become very real very soon. I was puking every other day thinking about what I was doing and yet I kept on going. I cant explain why and I wish I knew why. I can tell you that the first month after it ended was the worst in my life. I have never felt that much pain and disgust, I have never felt that low in my life. I saw my self as a whore and a selfish woman. I saw that after I faced the pain and chaos our A caused. Nothing can justify that. We were both selfish. We want what we can't have. and on the other hand i dont want to be used and made out i am nothing. Remember that and walk away. Walk away and think of what could have been, but be proud that you kept your dignity. Don't walk that path if you don't have to....and you never HAVE TO. Be strong. I wish you could feel what I feel; it would show you how much it's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 he told me if possible could i stop wearing them and lipstick That's so when he's making love to his wife and other girlfriend(s) they won't smell you on him. on the other hand i dont want to be used and made out i am nothing. WTF???? What do you think we have been telling you will be the result of this affair? Can you possibly believe you will win this man away from his wife and live happily ever after? All you will be is a convenient extra screw to him and if you make any trouble for the marriage, you'll be history. Lose the idea that you're 'something special' because you are not. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Hey Mandy, It really concerns me that he asked you to stop wearing perfume and lipstick...the two things that are impossible to remove from men's clothing. Very bazaar behavior. He sounds like he has had some experience in the affair department. Hmmm...I don't know, maybe you need to question him a little bit more about...is it going to be a one nighter? Is he having an affair with his nurse? Is he happily married but going after some extra fun? It just sounds sorta strange to ask if you mind not wearing those things. You need to ask more questions...lots more....and keep me informed. Link to post Share on other sites
Sloppy Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Hey Mandy, It really concerns me that he asked you to stop wearing perfume and lipstick...the two things that are impossible to remove from men's clothing. Very bazaar behavior. He sounds like he has had some experience in the affair department. Hmmm...I don't know, maybe you need to question him a little bit more about...is it going to be a one nighter? Is he having an affair with his nurse? Is he happily married but going after some extra fun? It just sounds sorta strange to ask if you mind not wearing those things. You need to ask more questions...lots more....and keep me informed. All the answers would be "yes" This is definitelly not the first time he has done it. He is most likely hapilly married, looking for some outside fun. Aussie, you will get used, and you will get hurt. Just know that whatever you decide to do and however it ends, I will be here. I can't say "we", as I can't speak for other LSkers. Right now I am almost certain that you will go for it nomatter what. I, too, did not listen to my friends and family and people who have been there. I wish now I had. I wish you the best of luck. He sounds like a looser on a ego ride. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 It really concerns me that he asked you to stop wearing perfume and lipstick... Ofcourse! Those are the TWO things which will bust his ass with his wife. That makes me think that he's cheated before...And actually probably has another OW on the side as well. I mean, he has told her to keep it all low key and NOT to advertise their "friendship." Link to post Share on other sites
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