I am falling for my married dentist - please help!

[sunflower1008]

Aussie,

from my own experience I can tell you that having an affair with a MM is the most intense experience I have had.

I can also tell you that with the A coming to an end, it has been the most painful experience I have had.

You question yourself, your dignity, your self-respect. It is very different from any other kind of relationship.

Back away untill it's too late. I promise it will save you a lot of heartache and pain, and also a lot of judmental people attacking yourself. I've been having to deal with the post-wifefoundout issue. It's not pretty.

I've lost my dignity and I had no self-respect.

 

Mandy, listen to what Sloppy is saying....I have been through a lot also, and it's not worth it. Believe me, it's not. Everything is great in the beginning, but it turns sour and then you are hurt beyond belief. Then you feel angry, sad, depressed, until you can pull yourself together (which I finally did). Please spare yourself ALL of this, and just move forward without him.

 

Sloppy, I feel for you. I have a feeling what you're going through. How did the wife find out? Do you and your MM have any more contact?

[Sloppy]

Sunflower, please email me at [email protected]. I have made up that email just for now, I will then email you my real email address.

I have talked to you before, I will explain via email.

Can't wait!

[sunflower1008]

Ok Sloppy....I will email you!

[Craig]

LOL Craig.....I am not going to stop wearing the perfumes and lippy and see what he does next......they must be really strong because i have had compliments from two of his female staff that work with him about my perfume...maybe they started noticing he is starting to smell like me:laugh:

They are jealous of you already. They see the way he lusts after you...women aren't stupid you know.

[Outcast]

They are jealous of you already.

 

Most likely because they don't want to share him with yet another woman. This guy is clearly experienced at this game.

[Sloppy]

This guy is clearly experienced at this game.

No kidding

[elijahBailey]

Most likely because they don't want to share him with yet another woman.

 

 

On the flip side, maybe they were hitting on her

 

Hmmm, makes me wonder, how many people can you squeeze into a dentist's chair?

[crazy_grl]

I am sorry i dont feel his wife's pain, because its not my fault, i am single, he is the married one, if she has such a problem with it then she should leave him......and to get the record straight i am not tearing a family apart ans destryong his wife's life, he made vows to her, i didnt, he is the one cheating, i am not doing anything wrong here. I didnt force him to start something with me, he was quite willing.

 

So mandy, do you think that a person who not only stands by and does nothing to help while another person gets beat to death, but sits back and enjoys the show is completely blameless in that person's death?

 

You may not be the person swinging the baseball bat into somebody's head, but you're cheering on the guy doing it and reveling the experience. Hell, you're even thinking up ways to torment the victim.

 

You're an accessory to the 'crime'. In may people's eyes, that makes you guilty right along with him. You have the ability to say "no, I'm not going to be a part of hurting another person like this", but you're choosing not to.

 

And if you think the people on this forum are being judgemental, just wait until your affair gets out in the open. You haven't heard anything yet. People here are playing very nice, because they're bound by the terms of service that keep them from hurling insults at you. There's nothing to stop anyone in real life from doing that.

[CoolAunt]

So mandy, do you think that a person who not only stands by and does nothing to help while another person gets beat to death, but sits back and enjoys the show is completely blameless in that person's death?

 

You may not be the person swinging the baseball bat into somebody's head, but you're cheering on the guy doing it and reveling the experience. Hell, you're even thinking up ways to torment the victim.

 

You're an accessory to the 'crime'. In may people's eyes, that makes you guilty right along with him. You have the ability to say "no, I'm not going to be a part of hurting another person like this", but you're choosing not to.

 

And if you think the people on this forum are being judgemental, just wait until your affair gets out in the open. You haven't heard anything yet. People here are playing very nice, because they're bound by the terms of service that keep them from hurling insults at you. There's nothing to stop anyone in real life from doing that.

 

Well said.

[newbby]

mandy,

you have had alot of good advice recently. totally agree with craig, he is a master manipulator making it look as though it is all you. however the lippy and perfume is a tricky one for him, he will probably make up an excuse about that later or just blatantly lie that he ever said it.

you will be used and treated as nothing, thats exactly what will happen. he loves playing with your hair it makes you feel special etc but its all just sex to him. remember men are very different than women about sex. although it may seem like there are feelings involved they are just lust and will die out quickly. you most certainly will get coldly tossed aside later. there are little clues of his later behaviour already evident. the way he spoke to you on the phone telling you to be discreet, the way he "asked" you about the lippy and perfume.

he is very obviously having or has recently had other affairs, ask him if you like, but he will lie about it or be only partially honest.

you will feel horrible once you have had sex with him. you say you just want to have fun but clearly your feelings are involved. you are already feeling hurt that you have been/ are being played, making little revenge plans to make you feel more in control more equal. you will feel far far far worse once you have had sex with him and no amount of revenge will actually make you feel any better, because as lb said, the more games like that you play the more he will hate you. he wants you for one thing only, he has targetted you as somebody easy to manipulate (not because of who you are but because of where you are emotionally), your best revenge is to let him know he was wrong about you YOU WONT SLEEP WITH HIM, his games did not work on YOU. you see him for the creep he is and you have walked away with dignity. that is the only way you can win this one.

[lindya]

I can't believe that some people here think I am making all this up. I must have a real big imagination to "come up" with all this stuff. I

 

I don't think you'd need to have a terribly creative mind to come up with these posts, aussie-mandy. This whole story strikes me as something that's comprised of events that have happened in the past, conversations you've had with friends and "readers' true experiences" you've read in women's weekly magazines.

 

My money's on this. You recently had a dental appointment, found the dentist rather sexy and have been fantasising wildly about him ever since. As the thread seems to have been on the go for a few weeks now, you might want to think about whether it's time to move on and obsess about someone/something new.

[JayKay]

I just checked in on this thread because I can't believe it's still going!

 

Damn....what a retarded situation you've gotten yourself into Mandy! Sorry you won't listen to wise advice.

 

 

Are you one of those people who warble dramatically, "Oh, my life! It should be made into a movie! I've lived through so much!"

 

 

Honey, what you need is to get on track with your life, either study, go to school, get a job or work helping people with real problems. You need perspective, badly.

 

You are going to look back on this time in your life someday with deep regret and embarressment.

[RainyDayWoman]

just because you didn't pledge vows to his wife, you think what you're doing is okay?

 

is it okay to be nasty to other children too, as long as they aren't yours and you have no real ties to them?

 

if you were married to your own husband, and he had an affair, do you really think you would rationally think about it and decide the other woman is innocent in *****ing your husband because she owes you nothing?

 

maybe i'm an idiot for thinking this, but last time i checked, people were supposed to be resepctful of each other and their relationships.

 

i know it probably hasn't been this way in a long time now, but people, even strangers, should have the sense to make smart, informed decisions before messing with someone else's life.

 

you need to grow up. your way of thinking is immature and unhealthy. i suggest you get counseling, and get to the bottom of why it is that you're so needy, hopeless, vindictive, scheming, and why have such little regard for other people--and yourself.

[veronese]

QUOTE=aussie-mandy]

I am sorry i dont feel his wife's pain, because its not my fault, i am single, he is the married one,

 

if she has such a problem with it then she should leave him......

 

and to get the record straight i am not tearing a family apart ans destryong his wife's life, he made vows to her, i didnt, he is the one cheating, i am not doing anything wrong here. I didnt force him to start something with me, he was quite willing.

QUOTE]

 

You don't feel his wife's pain and never will, he's not your husband. But you're going to feel another pain all of your own very soon. You don't think it's your fault if his wife gets hurt because of your affair with her husband so presumably you do recognise that when this turns nasty and upsetting for you, the only person you can blame is you.

 

You flippantly say his wife should leave him if she doesn't like it, but when people here suggest that YOU should stop your involvement with him, you say "Easier said than done". He's not even your boyfriend yet you're so smitten with this wanker you're incapable of walking away. Well honey, pause for a moment to think how hard it will be for his wife!

 

But you're right, it is HE who is cheating on his wife, not you. You don't believe you are doing anything wrong here and have no guilt. Just don't go presuming though that his wife will share your opinion on this matter. She may think you are totally to blame, especially when your MM tells her that all you are to him is a patient but you've developed a crush on him and won't leave him alone. Point is, she's already suspicious and you have no idea what she will do if she finds out. Telling her it's 'not your fault' may not be what she wants to hear.

 

But hey, you don't care about his wife's feelings so why am I talking about her? Silly me. If this is making you happy and you're having fun there doesn't seem to be a problem. You don't seem to envisage any dramas or heartache in the future because if you did, you surely wouldn't be wanting this.

 

I'm interested to hear how it turns out, with luck you won't get hurt.

[Outcast]

with luck you won't get hurt.

 

Not possible. He's already having or has had affairs with others and is spending his time thinking about how not to get caught, not about how to sweep mandy off her feet onto his white horse and ride off into the sunset with her.

 

But if she causes him to get divorced and have to pay alimony, she'll find out real quick how much she means to him.

[whichwayisup]

The day your MM's wife knocks at your door, talks to your parents about you banging HER husband, will be the time you'll feel the pain, the loss and only then will you have any regret. Don't think that won't happen either. If a wife is suspicious enough about her husband having an affair, she could be having you two followed. I DO hope I'm scaring you and making you think Mandy. Obviously my words may not mean much to you but maybe some day you'll come back and re-read ALL the advice given to you in your 18 pages here on your thread.

 

You flippantly say his wife should leave him if she doesn't like it, but when people here suggest that YOU should stop your involvement with him, you say "Easier said than done". He's not even your boyfriend yet you're so smitten with this wanker you're incapable of walking away. Well honey, pause for a moment to think how hard it will be for his wife!

 

Wonderful point made by Veron. You can't walk away from him yet you expect his wife to do just that. WTF. Excuse me, how can you compare what you feel and may have with this MM to his wife! Courtship, marriage, family, inlaws, children, neighbours, friends - A life and a history together. What makes you think you're higher up than her? Because he wants to f*** you? Seriously give that some consideration. He doesn't want to get caught. He has asked you NOT to wear lipstick/perfume around him...So he won't get caught. IF he truely loved you and wanted to be with you in a real love relationship he wouldn't be doing this to you...Sorry...But this is the truth of it. You've got his attention, he's having fun on the side. He may have feelings for you but not the kind that will last and grow. You may have great sex and the more he pays attention to you the more you'll fall inlove with him. Then, one day he will walk away because it will be too much for him, not fun anymore...That will happen Mandy. Sadly, that might be around the time his wife finds out and that knock on your door could happen.

 

Giving you some food for thought. Please really think. I would love it if you opened up and TOLD your parents about your life and your intentions.

[Bogun]

This thread is like the stereotypical affair in a crappy soap opera.

 

Mandy I haven't read all of the thread but what do you expect from this mess??? You're 22 he's 37 and he's married. Do you honestly believe that he will leave his wife to be with you? All that you will get out of this is to shag the loser. Then when his family finds out he'll kick you out of his life, his marriage might and probably would fall apart, if there are kids involved they will grow up hating you and might come after you one day.

 

If this is all you want then go ahead and continue with the crap you're doing. But if you believe that the strong feelings that you have for him will be returned and that this will be a lasting relationship you really are the typical blonde ditz from those soap operas.

[whichwayisup]

Remember that Sharon Stone/Michael Douglas movie? Basic Instinct?

 

OK here is a line from it, well, I've changed it abit to make it fit...

 

"He better be the f*** of the century!"

 

Mandy, is he worth it? Aren't you worthy of someone better? Someone who won't just f*** you for the sake of f***ing? Someone closer to your age, and ofcourse, not married.

[westernxer]

You're 22 he's 37 and he's married.

 

No wonder she's so stricken.

[bigbrowneyes]

Maybe you should be going to church on Sunday morning instead of making arrangements to meet your married dentist. It seems to me that you need to gain some Godly principles in your life. I mean really!!! What are you thinking. This man could have children and your ready to step in and create havoc on this innocent family. If you had any scrupples at all you would discourage any relationship that exceeds a patient/dr relationship. All I can say is shame on you. One last thought...do you understand what it means to treat others as you would like to be treated. Someday you will will have the fortune to be brokenhearted by someone who cheats on you and than you'll understand the pain you are creating in others lives.

[elijahBailey]

I am sorry i dont feel his wife's pain, because its not my fault, i am single, he is the married one, if she has such a problem with it then she should leave him......and to get the record straight i am not tearing a family apart ans destryong his wife's life, he made vows to her, i didnt, he is the one cheating, i am not doing anything wrong here. I didnt force him to start something with me, he was quite willing.

 

<sigh> I need to go lie down.

[newbby]

all the people posting about morals. you are not helping. although mandy it is a sign of what would come if you were to get found out. that and worse. possibly things thrown at you, maybe being spat at, stared at, sworn at, whispered about, wherever you go. whereas he will be forgiven by wife, blame it on you (he tried to stop you when you unzipped his pants remember), treat you coldly, you cetainly wont have a friend in him. he definetly wont care about the way you are being treated. he just wants to get laid and he will be as charming as he can to ensure that happens.

[goingforgold]

Hi all.......I am still off balance from the sedation yesterday but decided to come on to say "hi" and see what people have decided to bash me about now.

 

I went in to have me teeth done yesterday, there were a host of people in the room so he was very professional...didnt say or do anything inappropriate, it might just be my imgaination but i think the girls have picked up on something as they werent as friendly to me as they normally are.....

 

Yesterday i think he deliberately didnt give me any spare gauze strips to put in my mouth to stop the bleeding(had to have one tooth out) he sent a nurse (i wonder if it the one he's having an affair with - she's pregnant to:mad: )

to come over to my place and give me the gauze strips along with a script for pain killers and a note sealed with sticky tape in an envelope that had been folded so many times it was hardly noticeable and put inside the packet of gauze strips it read........

 

"hope you're feeling better soon, sorry couldnt be the one to drop this stuff to you working late tonight, will call late, dont want to wake u if sleeping so turn phone off or on silent before going to sleep.....I am thinking of you"

 

About 12:00am i get a text msg saying "how is my princess?" and i responded with "sore and drugged lol"

 

Then he called and we chatted for about an hour and i think he was at home because someone came into the room and said something to him, cant make out who it was or what they said, i am assuming it was W, because he said, be there soon, cant sleep, i am making a tea

 

We chatted for a few more mins and he said he had to get back to bed and cant wait to see me again and working on my teeth was a real buzz, because he knew my mouth better than any dentist ever would, he knows every grrove and every filling:)

[Outcast]

working on my teeth was a real buzz, because he knew my mouth better than any dentist ever would, he knows every grrove and every filling

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

That ranks right up there with 'I want to be your tampon' as the least romantic thing any human can possibly say to any other human.

 

 

This has all been a joke after all, right? Well congrats, mandy. It might make a good script but I'd definitely leave out this last bit unless you're planning for it to be a comedy.

[goingforgold]

outcast if my post is so fictional then why bother wasting the time post?