Author goingforgold Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 ********BIG HUGS********************** for you erika2610 I cant even imagine what u must've went through. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Ask him how you're supposed to sleep in his arms with his wife right next to him?? Oh and remember that he'll probably tell you that his marriage is over. They don't sleep together anymore. He's unhappy but just staying for the children. Or he's misunderstood. Or his wife's the most horrible bitch on the planet. To which you reply 'well then get divorced'. And if he says that he's going to - soon, tell him 'yeah? Well call me when you get the final papers'. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 ********BIG HUGS********************** for you erika2610 I cant even imagine what u must've went through. It was ahorrible time in my life. Makes me ill to think about it now. But there are girls that've been through worse too.. just read some threads here. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Ask him how you're supposed to sleep in his arms with his wife right next to him?? Oh and remember that he'll probably tell you that his marriage is over. They don't sleep together anymore. He's unhappy but just staying for the children. Or he's misunderstood. Or his wife's the most horrible bitch on the planet. To which you reply 'well then get divorced'. And if he says that he's going to - soon, tell him 'yeah? Well call me when you get the final papers'. My personal favorite. "We're basically just roomates.. don't even sleep in the same room" "We're only together for the kids".. I'd like to see what he'd say if Mandy asked him that question 'How'm I supposed to sleep in your arms when they're probably around your wife?' Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Outcast - i just dont get him, why does he care so much to get me into his trap, no doubt there are other women he's with, cant he just continue with them, although he told me he has never cheated on his wife EVER and what we we're doing is nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 erika2610 - I just sent him a text message with that very line.... 'How'm I supposed to sleep in your arms when they're probably around your wife?' Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Outcast - i just dont get him, why does he care so much to get me into his trap, no doubt there are other women he's with, cant he just continue with them, although he told me he has never cheated on his wife EVER and what we we're doing is nothing wrong. Who knows? He might still be with them.. and you're just added to the list. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 erika2610 - I just sent him a text message with that very line.... 'How'm I supposed to sleep in your arms when they're probably around your wife?' Let us know as soon as he replies.. I at least wanna know what he says. I wish I had the nerve to say what you've said to him.. I really do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Thanks for everything everyone, i have a huge head ache, i am going to try to eat something and lay down for a bit with my phone off, will come back on a bit later or definately tomorrow morning. Thanks again all of you, you have been great to me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 just got response back now... "They want to be around your sexy body and bot her ugly body":mad: Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 just got response back now... "They want to be around your sexy body and bot her ugly body":mad: Ewwww.. see how he is? They make you feel special.. they do. Telling you how pretty you are, how sweet you are. But they're still scum.. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Outcast - i just dont get him, why does he care so much to get me into his trap Because you're halfway there already. You're responding. You're clearly flattered. although he told me he has never cheated on his wife EVER Right. Of course. He's lying to his wife so don't for one minute believe he won't lie to you as well. and what we we're doing is nothing wrong. Yeah. Funny how we call it 'cheating'. Not really a word that implies honour or decency, now is it? 'Nothing wrong'? He married his wife and promised to be faithful. He's breaking that promise. He's lying to her. What does he think is 'wrong' if lying and betraying someone's trust is 'nothing wrong'???? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 just got response back now... "They want to be around your sexy body and bot her ugly body":mad: Imagine him saying that to his OOW about you. Not a pretty picture. This man isn't someone you should trust with your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 He's childish and ridiculous. A 37-year-old man saying, "They want to be around you...not her ugly body" ??? I still can't get over how ridiculous this guy is. The language he uses and his behaviors (little hidden notes, etc) are so immature. He seems more like a 17 year old High School boy. Run Mandy Run. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 You asked why he cared so much? It's not YOU who he really cares for. You do understand that, don't you? It's the challenge of getting you in bed for him now. I wouldn't be texting with him. Can you ignore his texts? As much as I admire your will to not go further with this, I still think you're vulnerable. Be careful, Mandy! He's sounds so arrogant! He's going to keep telling you how much YOU want HIM! You know you want me, Mandy. Why deny it? No one will know. Be ready for his lines and his lies. What a creep! Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Mandy...I've been reading the post, trying to catch up with your situation. It really sounds to me like this dentist guy has done this plenty of times before. Just seems to be sort of arrogant and a little full of himself. I can't tell you what to do but I really think you should move on. I hate it that you might lose your dentist over it, but I think we might have known that from the start. It's a bad situation and I just don't feel good about it for you. You will make your own decision, Lord knows I have made some bad ones and that is why it is a little easier to see when someone else is going to make one. Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 3, 2005 Author Share Posted December 3, 2005 scarlet - how r u?? what ur saying makes sense, for me its true that other people's mistakes are always easier to see than your own and giving someone else advice on what to do about a situation you dont happen to be in at the time is always easy.... At the moment i am very confused, i miss MM and want him back so bad, i think i am going to go back and see where it goes, what if he is for me and i am throwing it all away just because he is married? Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 mandy, i know how you are feeling. mandy, i do not happen to completely agree with leaving the whole thing alone if you are in love, and i'm sure many will disagree with me. however, sleeping or continuing in any sexual way at all with this man, is the quickest way to being used and coldy dumped and being treated with absolutely zero respect. if you want to catch him, the ONLY way to do this is to make him think you are worth it. the ONLY way that he will think you are worth it, is if you act as though you are worth it. if you sleep with him OR carry on any sexual behaviour with him, he will think you are worth only being treated as a sexual object that he most certainly does not need to leave his marriage for. i know you may think you dont want him to leave for you. on the other hand though do you want him to use you as a piece of trash for his sexual needs and nothing more? there is no inbetween, so i suggest you decide exactly what it is you want and act accordingly. if you refuse to play mistress with him and he does not want any more to do with you then you have successfully eliminated somebody who is about to treat you like s*** from your life. you cant lose. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Read this, mandy. It's from a woman whose fiance was swiped by an OW. I should've copied the poster's name but forgot but it's in the 'last letter' thread. In the dating world we commonly use the analogy of fishing, and your position is a bottom-feeder. You feed off the disgusting, low-life and help keep the oceans clean of trash. By doing what you did, you brought to light my ex-fiance's low-life actions and took him away from me; saved me. If you weren't in the picture, it wouldn't have saved him from cheating because he's done it before and he'll probably do it again. It just blew the top off his alter-reality and saved my life. I owe my life to you. Women like you are hated by other women, but you should be loved - you are the type of test that all jerks fail and all true men pass, separating the crap from the gold. Thanks for doing that. I love you. Would you really want the kind of guy who'd betray someone he once told was sexy and that he loved for you? If you think he didn't say the exact same things to his wife when he was courting her, you're awfully naive. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 That letter was great! So true. I'm also posting a copy of something I posted on another thread yesterday. Here it is: When I was single, I got hit on by married men all the time. But it was just out of the question for me. Not only because I did think it was wrong but I was really selfish in my younger days. That kind of arrangement would have never suited me. I wanted ALL or NOTHING! I thought I was smart enough, attractive enough to have it all. So for me personally, it was insulting if I was offered less than the whole package. I was actually insulted if I was hit on by a MM! So it's so hard for me to understand, even beyond the moral aspect, how women can put up with this shyt. You seem like such a bright and personable woman. Very honest and upfront. I like that. There aren't many people like that. I admire the fact that you're not defensive. I just don't understand with all that you have going for you, how you could settle like this. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 okay Mandy...I know you want to go back to his arms...but just think about what he has said and done. I don't think you are thinking clearly now because you are so confused. He clearly does not seem like a man you need to be involved with. You will get hurt..i can just tell. A man should not talk about his wife that way in front of you. If he wants to stray, he should not bring his wife into the situation by slanderizing her. That is so bad. I wish you luck cause I know its tough when someone is tempting you. You really must rustle up all the strength you have inside you and look elsewhere. This guy really sounds like a piece of work...just from what I have read. Good luck dear...i hope you do what is right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 just got response back now... "They want to be around your sexy body and bot her ugly body":mad: Good lord. I have seen a number of real romances develop between committed people, but he's behaving like a child. His attraction to you seems mostly physical, what he text'd is the sort of thing a horny old man writes, not something someone in love says to the object of his desire. You are handling this well, you're going to get over him. -The Travelling Man Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Mandy, he doesn't respect you, that is evident. He is like a puppet master, pulling your strings...He KNOWS what buttons to push with you, knows 'exactly' how you will react. Maybe it's not malcious, but it is a game...A game where you are going to end up being hurt because he doesn't respect you as a woman. A woman with feelings, a woman with her own mind. He knows he can manipulate you so easily by whispering sweet nothings in your ear... If you go back to him, once again and allow him to play this game, you are going to be more hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
ahotmess Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Please turn away now. I wish I had done that. The saying "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" is not always true. At least not in a situation like mine. Avoid him like the plague....even get a new dentist. Trust me, backing out now is easier than dealing with the pain that is so raw and inevitable in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 just got response back now... "They want to be around your sexy body and bot her ugly body":mad: How disgusting that someone would say that about their spouse. The fact that he thinks that's a compliment shows he has a very immature mind. If he can talk about his wife like that, just imagine what he'll say about you. That is if he's not already bad mouthing you so he doesn't look guilty to anyone he works with who might have caught on. At the moment i am very confused, i miss MM and want him back so bad, i think i am going to go back and see where it goes, what if he is for me and i am throwing it all away just because he is married? This guy is behaving like an arrogant ass with little respect for women. Why would you think a guy like that would be for you? Don't you think you deserve better? Please keep your dignity by standing your ground. If he persists, you can always let him know that you loved the flattering text messages he sent you so much that you, a current patient of his, can't wait to share them with the dental licensing board for your state. Link to post Share on other sites
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