Author goingforgold Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 I have been trying to keep NC with him and it really is hard when he tells me i'll give in sooner or later:( I am getting friendly with his assistant and she has invited me to have coffee with her on her lunch break, so i am going to drop her xmas pressie in and have a coffee. I am going to go tomorrow when i know he isnt at work so i dont have to face him, deep down its killing me, i want to see him sooooooooo bad. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 First off, you need to STOP going to the dentist office all the time. Unless your teeth are giving you problems, detach yourself and get out of the habit of making visits. He is baiting you. Playing a game now. Like hahaha, let's see how long YOU go without talking to me...So, do your best to stay away. You got a taste of the pain, a taste of the crazy s*** he's gonna put you through...Remember that next time you have a weak moment and want to see/talk to him. In time, you will get over this, just stay strong and stay away from him...And the women there too. The less you know about his comings/goings at the office, they less you will care! Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 What an ass, I hate guys who are so cocky like that, waiting for you to give in and playing games like that. Don't do it, you'll just prove him right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 The assistant and I really clicked and we are starting a very special friendship and just because she works for him i am not going to let him get in the way of her and i sharing a special friendship. I am getting so weak, i want to arrange a time to go see him to give him a Xmas card and maybe a small pressie, i cant stand this no contact thing, i have been thinking about it over and over and i think i am in a way silly to walk away, what if he is the one? and i have thrown it all away? Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 The assistant and I really clicked and we are starting a very special friendship and just because she works for him i am not going to let him get in the way of her and i sharing a special friendship. I am getting so weak, i want to arrange a time to go see him to give him a Xmas card and maybe a small pressie, i cant stand this no contact thing, i have been thinking about it over and over and i think i am in a way silly to walk away, what if he is the one? and i have thrown it all away? He's not the one for you. That's what his wife thinks. Walk away. No, run. And how long's it been since you've spoken to him? And I'd be careful with this assistant. How do you know he's not one of his OW? I'd just be very careful with her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 erika - i doubt she is the OW she is only a very young girl - maybe 18/19 years old, she is the nicest person i have ever met, she really helped put me at ease when i was going thru a stressful time at the dentist, we have connected and both want to pursue a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 feels like forever since i spoke to him - last time i saw or spoke to him was friday and today is only tuesday:( Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 feels like forever since i spoke to him - last time i saw or spoke to him was friday and today is only tuesday:( Well, you just have to stay strong. I'll say, last week I was really proud.. I thought you were gonna walk away, tell him you couldn't do it. Now you sound like you wanna resume the relationship.. why? Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Nooo, dont do it. Its exactly what he wants you to do. I know it'll kill you to never know what would of been, but it's better than getting hurt by him later on. Besides he doesn't sound like the "one" he seems immature, you deserve someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 i think i am in a way silly to walk away, what if he is the one? and i have thrown it all away? He is not 'the one'. 'The one' will not be a smarm who has affairs. Remember, if he does it with you, he will do it to you. A lying cheater doesn't change. What will be silly will be for you to fall for his BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 I know it all sounds so ridiculous and absurd but i cant help the way i feel. I broke it al off thinking it was the right thing to do and maybe morally it is and it might save me a lot of heartache in the future, but i am just the kind of person who doesnt want to love life wondering of what could've been so i am writing him a letter to tell him i want time to get to know him better (i am not going to sleep with him) i am going to slip the note in a xmas card and give him a small gift. I know you all are going to disagree with me but this is the chance i am going to take. Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I'm just like you I can't stand not knowing what could of been. It doesn't seem like anything will stop you. Ask yourself if you can handle the heartache, is it worth just to know what would happen with this guy, and will you regret it if thing turn out badly? What I don't understand is why you think this guy will be the one... Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I know it all sounds so ridiculous and absurd but i cant help the way i feel. I broke it al off thinking it was the right thing to do and maybe morally it is and it might save me a lot of heartache in the future, but i am just the kind of person who doesnt want to love life wondering of what could've been so i am writing him a letter to tell him i want time to get to know him better (i am not going to sleep with him) i am going to slip the note in a xmas card and give him a small gift. I know you all are going to disagree with me but this is the chance i am going to take. This guy's not the one. He's older than you & looking for a good time. MM rarely leave the W for the OW. Wouldn't you rather walk away knowing you did the right thing? That you saved yourself alot of hurt and bullsh*t? Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 mandy, he knows the score. he knows what he has to do to get to know you better. the ball is in his court, thats the best way. you know all you need to know. he is married and he wants to have sex with you. he is not even PRETENDING he has any deeper feelings for you. he is saying stuff like "you want me". if you write him that letter he will have even more sense of your weakness, you dont want him to know how weak you are trust me. he probably wont give up anyway, but at least you can let him think he is not in such a strong position. he wants to have sex with you. that is all. if he wants more than that, he knows what to do. thats what you are telling him by standing firm, and it makes you look like a strong and confident woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 jasmine - i just cant explain it, there's something about him that i cant let go, if i never try i'll never knowm, i've had time to think and if i get to the heartache ppart i will deal with it when and if it happens, until then i want to get to know him and see where it can go,......i just cant stand the wondering anymore....i have always been that way, i never usually give up on something. I always do what i want and rather regret something i have done than havent done. erika - its the chance i am going to take, might be stupid, naive etc but i am going to take my chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 mandy, you're making this out to be some big romance when it's just slimy and smarmy and icky. You badly want to find your 'one' but you don't go looking in trashbins to find Prince Charming. Nor do you steal him from someone else. In fairy tales, you'd be the wicked one. It's not romantic to stick your fingers in your ears and holler 'lalalalalalala' to try to pretend that you don't know exactly what you're doing. You don't want to be a pathetic loser, and ignoring all good sense to try to cling to a sad little romantic dream will make you just that. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 jasmine - i just cant explain it, there's something about him that i cant let go, if i never try i'll never knowm, i've had time to think and if i get to the heartache ppart i will deal with it when and if it happens, until then i want to get to know him and see where it can go,......i just cant stand the wondering anymore....i have always been that way, i never usually give up on something. I always do what i want and rather regret something i have done than havent done. erika - its the chance i am going to take, might be stupid, naive etc but i am going to take my chance. As adults, we can't always do what we want when we want. Especially if it hurts other people. It's called being a responsible person. I want to call my ExMM, but that would be hurting myself and other people. All I can say is after 300 and something posts, you should know what you're in for. Though you won't be fully prepared. I still think it's a bad move.. I think the better move is to walk away with your held up high while retaining your dignity.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 if i walk away now i may never know what could've been Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 if i walk away now i may never know what could've been You will be saving yourself alot of heartache.. Lemme give you a scenario Mandy. You hook up with your dentist. You continue to see each other for maybe a year. You spend birthdays and Holidays alone. You sit home waiting for him to find time to call. You sneak around to be with him. You buy him things. And like I said, a year goes by, and he decides he can't do it anymore. Or his wife founds out (and if his W founds out, you're gone).. and he dumps you. It takes you months to get over it.. you feel like you were just used for sex. feel like a fool. Is it worth it? Is it? Meanwhile, that whole year you could've maybe been with a single guy.. who's buying things for YOU.. who's soending birthdays and holidays with you. Who's there for you when you're sick, and who can call you whenever he feels like it, and youc an call him at home.. Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I agree with you in regreting something youve done instead of something you havent done, but he's immature, unloyal, cocky, a jerk, and hes married! Now why in the world do you want to waste your time seeing if it could be something with a lowlife guy like this?? What do you think will happen? He's going to leave his wife and kids for you and you two will live happily ever after? if i walk away now i may never know what could've been there's a difference between taking a risk and being naive Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 if i walk away now i may never know what could've been You're doping yourself up on fantasy. There is NO romantic ending to this. You have to stop believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, mandy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 erkia - thanks for looking out for me and trying to save me from getting hurt later but this is something i am going to do, i have made up my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 mandy are you even reading my posts? or am i on ignore or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Nobody is more blind than she who refuses to see. Very frustrating to watch someone insist on self-destructing despite the best efforts of everyone to save her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 newby - sorry i am not ignoring you, i understand what you're saying, but at this point i am writing to tell him i want to spend time with him getting to know him, i have no intention of sleeping with him just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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