I am falling for my married dentist - please help!

[erika2610]

No. Of course you aren't in love with him. You barely know him, and what you do know is mostly not so good.

 

What you are is addicted to the drama. And your friend is, too. I wonder if this is the same friend who was egging you on back at the beginning? Sounds like you guys are just feeding into each other's need for this kind of rollercoaster feeling. It's a fantasy, and you're addicted to it, and the man himself is pretty much incidental, I'd guess.

 

It's all about the drama. Well, I suggest you buckle up, mandy, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. If drama's what you want, drama you will get. That's the one thing you will get out of this.

 

 

I think this's spot on. How many people have reponded here? Mandy knows what she's getting into, and she puts frowny faces after her sentences, but I don't think she's so sad at all. She likes it. Mandy, why haven't you just walked away by now? Do you really want this kind of treatment? Don't you think you deserve better? Because I'll tell ya.. if things like this are bothering you this early in the relationship, I don't think you're ready for it. You should prepare yourself for alot more of this treatment. You are his last priority. He owes you nothing. He'll treat you like crap because he knows he can, and you'll still be there waiting for him when he decides to call.

[Touche]

True. I mean he's already demonstrated that he has absolutely no respect for her. I'm not sure what it's going to take for her to fully see this.

[erika2610]

Are you sure you really want me to answer that?

 

You're so clever Miss Holier Than Thou. And I love when judgemental people come in here to do nothing more than cheer on other judgemental people..

Please. If you have NOTHING constructive to say, why are you here? To make yourself feel better because you're not a :gasp: .. OW? We're such awful people ya know..

[erika2610]

True. I mean he's already demonstrated that he has absolutely no respect for her. I'm not sure what it's going to take for her to fully see this.

 

She would save herself so much heartache just leaving now. I'm surprised everybody talking about their experiences haven't made her think about it, and decide it's not worth it.. because it's not.

[Touche]

Well, she just doesn't want to hear it. I think she's getting off on this. I really do. But every now and then it seems she's listening but then when he throws a little crumb her way, she's like a little panting puppy. Right back to square one. It's sad to see, really.

[erika2610]

Well' date=' she just doesn't want to hear it. I think she's getting off on this. I really do. But every now and then it seems she's listening but then when he throws a little crumb her way, she's like a little panting puppy. Right back to square one. It's sad to see, really.[/quote']

 

Like watching a trainwreck. You just can't look away for some reason. I was so happy at one point, I thought she was opening her eyes.. then, in the next breath, she was calling him. I do hope she realizes she can do better..

[Touche]

I know I really thought at one point that she was seeing him for what he really is. I really did. That stupid friend of hers is no help...jeezz with friends like that...

[Outcast]

You just can't believe that someone would do something so unbelievably stupid. You keep watching hoping some spark will light up in their brain and they finally wake up to the utter inanity of what they're doing and yet, sadly, they insist on doing it anyway.

[erika2610]

I do think she'll take her blinders off one day and see him for what he really is. But sadly, I think she'll be to fara into the relationship.. it'll be that much harder for her to get over it. But in all honesty too, I will say.. when I was with my MM, alot of people told me to get out.. my mother even almost disowned me, but I didn't care. I got out when I was ready to get out. And I think that's the way it is for alot of OW. They have to learn for themselves.. you guys need to understand that we're not stupid people here. We're just people who make mistakes just like everybody else. You can't really jusgde somebody because you don't know their story. Ow aren't dumb.. alot are just insecure, unhappy, or suffer from low self esteem. Alot of MM prey on the vulnerable girls. We're not immoral people who're out looking for a home to wreck.

[Outcast]

We're not immoral people who're out looking for a home to wreck.

 

She knows he's married. She doesn't care. Nothing makes that ok.

[Touche]

I agree that it's not always a question of morality, New. But in my eyes, it IS a question of selfishness. That mentality of wanting what you want when you want it and who cares who gets hurt.

 

The sad part is they hurt themselves so much in the process. She's just living for the moment now. Not thinking ahead.

[erika2610]

I agree that it's not always a question of morality, New. But in my eyes, it IS a question of selfishness. That mentality of wanting what you want when you want it and who cares who gets hurt.

 

The sad part is they hurt themselves so much in the process. She's just living for the moment now. Not thinking ahead.

 

Most OW don't think ahead. They just don't. It's not a matter of who cares who gets hurt. OW don't go out intending to hurt people. I didn't realize that what I was doing was affecting other people until I saw it first hand. Until I met the family. All I knew at the time was that he gave me more attention than I had had in a long time.. he made me feel special. Before I got into the relationship, I was one of those girls who were very adamant about never getting involved with a MM. But then, something changed my mind. Like I said, she will realize what she's doing one day. She's obvioiusly an insecure girl and craves the attention. And it doesn't help that she has a friend that's egging her on..

[Outcast]

But she's been told. Maybe you were unthinking but she's been told in so many words that she'll be hurting people and she cares not one whit.

[erika2610]

But she's been told. Maybe you were unthinking but she's been told in so many words that she'll be hurting people and she cares not one whit.

 

Unthinking? I was never unthinking. Cute word though. I was also told time and time again what would happen. By everybody I know. I chose not to pay attention.. I chose to make the mistake and learn the lesson for myself.

[newbby]

I agree that it's not always a question of morality' date=' New. [/quote']

 

huh???

[goingforgold]

I have read everyone's post and i understand that someone may get hurt and it probably will be me, but for some reason it just doesnt bother me, right now all i want is him.

 

I know it sounds selfish but really i am not that kind of person. I am warm loving and kind. I might be making a huge mistake but for me its one worth taking. Advice is just so much easier to give when ur not in the sitaution urself.

Incorporating advice given to you is just sometimes nearly impossible.

 

I guess we're all human and we all learn from OUR mistakes not necessarily other peoples mistakes.

 

I know a lot of you may not understand me and thats ok.

[erika2610]

huh???

 

I dunno. That was my post I thought she was replying to.

[newbby]

now now, people.

so your advice has not been recieved, it is no reason to bytch. people tend to get frustrated when their advice hasnt worked (myself included) and it is understandable, but step back from the ego, either give up or keep trying, but dont take it out on mandy. she is f***ed up at this moment certainly. i wonder if advice ever really works until we are ready for it.

having said all that sometimes she annoys me because she is a little rude and ignores people. in fact for a long time i thought she had me on ignore. maybe this is the extent of her self betrayal (seen the film?).

seriously though, i have read books that other people have read (self help etc) and they have not got the same things from them that i have. i have also read books that i read many times before and had a realisation that i had not before. is this because you just arent ready until you are?

[erika2610]

I have read everyone's post and i understand that someone may get hurt and it probably will be me, but for some reason it just doesnt bother me, right now all i want is him.

 

I know it sounds selfish but really i am not that kind of person. I am warm loving and kind. I might be making a huge mistake but for me its one worth taking. Advice is just so much easier to give when ur not in the sitaution urself.

Incorporating advice given to you is just sometimes nearly impossible.

 

I guess we're all human and we all learn from OUR mistakes not necessarily other peoples mistakes.

 

I know a lot of you may not understand me and thats ok.

 

I understand, I really do. And I have said, that sometimes you just have to learn for yourself. And my advice does come from my experiences. Not to be harsh, or mean.. but right now all you want is him, all he wants is a piece of ass. Again, don't you think you deserve better? Don't you want better?

[goingforgold]

I never thought i would be the kind of woman that would fall for a MM, that simply wouldnt happen, i love and respect myself to much to let it happen.

Believe me when it happens it just does and u have no way of stopping it.

I am the most stubborn person (as most of u might have figured out) and if i can fall for a MM being as adament as i was about never falling for a MM anyone can, believe me it is so possible and it gets u when u least expect it.

 

This "It would never happen to me coz i wouldn't allow it" is simply BS!!

[erika2610]

now now, people.

so your advice has not been recieved, it is no reason to bytch. people tend to get frustrated when their advice hasnt worked (myself included) and it is understandable, but step back from the ego, either give up or keep trying, but dont take it out on mandy. she is f***ed up at this moment certainly. i wonder if advice ever really works until we are ready for it.

having said all that sometimes she annoys me because she is a little rude and ignores people. in fact for a long time i thought she had me on ignore. maybe this is the extent of her self betrayal (seen the film?).

seriously though, i have read books that other people have read (self help etc) and they have not got the same things from them that i have. i have also read books that i read many times before and had a realisation that i had not before. is this because you just arent ready until you are?

 

 

It Is frustrating as all get out. You feel like you're just spending so much time giving advice.. personal experiences and such.. and she's just ignoring everything. It's like why waste the time anymore? But at the same time, you hope that maybe one of these days soon she'll wake up. Like I said though, I have ot be honest. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it was going nowhere.. but I thrived on the attention. No matter what anybody said, I just didn't wanna give it up. I just fell hard.

[erika2610]

I never thought i would be the kind of woman that would fall for a MM, that simply wouldnt happen, i love and respect myself to much to let it happen.

Believe me when it happens it just does and u have no way of stopping it.

I am the most stubborn person (as most of u might have figured out) and if i can fall for a MM being as adament as i was about never falling for a MM anyone can, believe me it is so possible and it gets u when u least expect it.

 

This "It would never happen to me coz i wouldn't allow it" is simply BS!!

 

I agree. I was one of those girls.. then I ended up falling hard. But I worked with him for a year and a half first. So it was harder.. I was around him everyday. I agree when it happens it just does. But you do have a way of stopping it now. Before it gets harder. Before you feel like a fool for believeing everything he's feeding you.

[newbby]

I have read everyone's post and i understand that someone may get hurt and it probably will be me, but for some reason it just doesnt bother me, right now all i want is him.

 

I know it sounds selfish but really i am not that kind of person. I am warm loving and kind. I might be making a huge mistake but for me its one worth taking. Advice is just so much easier to give when ur not in the sitaution urself.

Incorporating advice given to you is just sometimes nearly impossible.

 

I guess we're all human and we all learn from OUR mistakes not necessarily other peoples mistakes.

 

I know a lot of you may not understand me and thats ok.

 

mandy it doesnt bother you because you are on a path of self destruction (look deep).

do you deserve it?

the thing is you KNOW that you are making a mistake.

you know that he is playing you, and you know that he has manipulated you to make all the moves. he is successfully playing you like a fool.

maybe you could make him fall in love with you. but nobody, NOBODY falls in love with somebody they have complete control over. that is why he is so desirable to you. you are the complete opposite to him. he has complete and utter control of you.

ah, that phone call is exactly what he was waiting for.

to him you are a silly little girl with a nice young body, but only because he is a dirty old selfish man, who has no desire to know you for anything other than what he wants. of course he wont TELL you that, but that is what you are to him.

[newbby]

i love and respect myself to much to let it happen.

 

what is this self deception?

[goingforgold]

i know it all sounds weird and wrong but right now i am happy to get what i can get from him and feel as though it ok for now and will take it a day at a time and see where it goes from there.