circusfood Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I've been in a relationship with the same girl for over 5 years now. We're fixin on getting married. we split up two times over the years, but never saw anyone else, and got back together after those breaks. During one of our breaks, i was hanging out a lot more with a gal friend of mine i've known for a while. We hung out a lot during the break, i was fixin on moving and changing my life, since, me and my ex were seperated and doing other things, with no talks of a future together again. So...Long story short, me and my gal friend sorta developed crushes on each other (i found out later on thru a friend that, she had always had the hots for me, ever since we met) and we would hang out and talk and go places together, grab lunch, dinner, movies. Some dinners, i will admit, were a bit more romantic than a usual platonic relationship, but we never acted on the feelings. we hung out for about a good 2-3 months, every other day. Anyway, i ended up taking my ex back during that time and me and my gal friend sorta drifted apart, she stopped calling, i stopped calling her. It was a real emotional time. My Problem: I still feel these urges to hang with her and be with her, sometimes, and I don't know why i always wonder about "what could have been'. I have dreams about her and i long for those strange butterfly feelings i felt, when we were together...... I've heard thru mutual friends that she's "not doing so well", quit her job she really loved, she got engaged, but not 100% happy with the guy...etc.. She's just been on my mind alot lately, and i want to contact her, just to say hello, or sorry we drifted apart, or sorry if i led you on (even though i don't feel that i did) or Yes, I fell for you, but didn't feel right telling you...or whatever, yet i feel it's wrong to talk about this stuff with her, since i'm getting married in 6 months. Anyway, i guess i'm just wondering if anyone else has had these feelings of wanting to tell another girl/guy, that you had feelings for them, even though you're already in a relationship. For some dumb reason, I want her to know that I Fell for her and still think about her, but the moral side of me says it's Wrong and Totally lame to do, Because come on, i'm getting married.. I NEVER would tell her, because it wouldn't be fair to my girl and besides, what would be the point now? We can't do anything about it anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I NEVER would tell her, because it wouldn't be fair to my girl and besides, what would be the point now? We can't do anything about it anyway. i think you found your answer, then. Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 If you feel this way about another woman, why are you getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
downcydeguy Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 If you feel this way about another woman, why are you getting married? That's what I'm wondering? You need to contact this friend and find out if the next step can be taken. You're getting married to the wrong girl, and you're gonna end up hurting her down the road. You will always carry doubt about what could have been. Contact your friend. Tell her how you feel. Do what feels right. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 It's never to late until you are in front of the judge saying "I do". If you have feelings for her you owe it to yourself to see if these feelings mean anything and if she still feels for you. It's better to make a mistake now than be miserable and married. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I completely agree with Downcydeguy and Yamaha. Let the girl know how you feel and ask her how she feels about you BEFORE you both get married. It's not too late. It's not fair to your GF that you are about to marry her while wanting another girl. Whether you let the girl know or not, it won't make things any more or less fair - you already have these feelings and it's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong so far. However if you have decided to definitely marry your GF and you think you're in love with her then don't contact the other girl at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author circusfood Posted November 9, 2005 Author Share Posted November 9, 2005 i know, i know, if i feel this way "why the hell am I getting married?"... I'm getting married because me and my girl have been thru a lot together, we've invested a lot of time and we love each other and we never argue, we respect each other. Why did i post then? I guess it's just good therapy. To get some perspective from other people, to see if i'm being an a**h*** for even Thinking about this other girl. I don't even know WHY i even feel the need to tell her "Yes, when we were together, I was falling for you, yes, we were headed into something".... I'm so not the type of guy who is afraid of Commitment or marriage or being loyal and honest to my girl. Far from it. But i wonder if all these feelings are because i'm having second thoughts of "should I have taken my girl Back, when she broke up with me twice? yet, i stood by her decision?" I guess it'll always haunt me...I just needed to talk about it.. or Type about it, i guess i should say. Link to post Share on other sites
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