I realize I may be nuts...

[Kathryn]

I just heard that this girls fiancee' has just broken their engagement! The problem is, she works full time with my fiancee' and they used to date each other! I KNOW I am out of control, but I immediately am suspicious of their relationship now. What can I do to get past this?

[Tony T]

Get used to the fact that what will happen will happen. If you don't trust your guy, forget about him.

 

Yes, it is a bit wacky to hear some news and automatically suspect that your guy will want to hook up with somebody who is now available. But if that happens, wish him well. Believe me, you don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you.

 

What I really don't understand is why you would want to remain with a guy who doesn't make you feel loved, doesn't make you feel special, doesn't make you feel secure????

 

The reason we remain in relationships is for the special feeling they give us. You don't seem to be getting much out of this one at all.

 

If you continue feeling uneasy to the degree you are feeling this afternoon, I would suggest you seeing a professional counsellor. He/she can help you sort out your feelings and issues and help you focus on techniques to get you out of this awful head space you're in now.

[Ashesmum]

Have you talked to him and let him know how you feel? Have you asked him straight out if he's having thoughts of others? I obviously don't know the whole situation, but sounds like you need to talk to each other and if it's just you that is having such a problem with thinking he's cheating, maybe you need some counseling.

I just heard that this girls fiancee' has just broken their engagement! The problem is, she works full time with my fiancee' and they used to date each other! I KNOW I am out of control, but I immediately am suspicious of their relationship now. What can I do to get past this?