Second Chances - Why, How, When...your story

[totallyconfused]

Have you ever been cheated on and took them back?

 

If so what were the circumstances, what did your partner do to win you back, and how did you two overcome the struggle with the fidelity issues?

 

How long after did it take you to take them back?

 

Do you regret your decision in taking them back?

 

If your partner cheated the first time around, then what lead you to believe you should hop on for the second ride?

 

What has your partner done to show you that their once cheating ways is gone?

 

Just needed some feedback on second chances...I'd love to see responses of ones that worked out and those that didnt and why not...

[conquer]

first, i cheated. I was taken back with all her heart. She helped me struggle with the pain. I was lost and confused how i could cheat on her. She gave me all her love and attention and put me back together. I was devastated that i did that. She promised me not to worry that we will work it out and we did. She was struggling to find answers, i broke up with her because i felt dirty. didnt take a week for her to take me back. Months were spent mending. She trusted me completely even if it happened again. And she trusted me more. And nothing ever happened again on my part.

 

Next she cheated on me after quite sometime. She felt that she lost her identity in our relationship. With the help of the third party she started questioning if our plans would work out. We had our life planned out ahead of us. I was paranoid, delusional that i was left behind. I talked to them as a couple. I was kneeling in front of them letting her remember our promises and how much we love each other and how we promised that if one went astray the other would not stop trying to try and win the other back. Then all was well. I trusted her with my life, never doubted her just one bit.

 

Next she cheated on me again. But this time I was ever more paranoid. I was looking if she was doing something. I was checking out who she talked to and been with. After the first one, we already had concrete plans to get married. Maybe she felt trapped and committed. But she wanted her space and i was so scared to lose her. My fear of losing her made me actually lose her. It did not help that the same guy was there just helping her through it. I on the other hand was never told about it. I felt she was ruining her life and did my best to get her out of her hole. She felt i was ruining her life by not trusting her enough to solve issues on her own. We've been together for the last five years. I still trust her with my life.

 

In all cases the other just closed their eyes and held each other's hand. If at one point in your life you could trust someone who has wronged you and trust her with your life and trust them more than you trust yourself then you can really say that you truly love someone. You can never really say that you truly love someone if that someone hasn't hurt you enough for you to get really devastated. For me, truly loving someone means giving it everything you've got and going all out not knowing if you are going to lose it all or have a wonderful life ahead of you.

 

I am a firm believer that love is forever and that life in general can be wonderful and not doomed the mediocre cycle of hurt, pain, revenge and sorrow. It is so easy to fall in love but staying in love takes two extremely strong individuals. The struggles will be tough but one has to hold on. When one has given up, the other must not. Wouldn't life be much better if two people worked through all their problems no matter what?

 

Imagine if all people were like that, all being patient, all forgiving, all being there for their loved ones. NO MATTER WHAT. Even if it meant dying for that someone you love. Wouldn't be the world a better place to live in? Such is my belief in true love. Maybe my expectations in love are misguided or fantastic and maybe humans are not capable of doing that.

 

But what if our goal in life was to stop being humans and forever struggle in life to better ourselves more and more each day. Would it not be easier if there was someone for you to grow with? Knowing that someone will be there for you no matter what? Perfection might be impossible but having someone in life to help you get it is in itself perfection.

 

Please take note i still havent gotten her back. She needs her space and want to get to know herself more. It took a while for me to realize that. I will wait for her to grow up without any assurance getting her back. I will wait even if it takes forever. But she does not need to know that of course. Too much pressure, its best that she truly find what she wants.

 

Sorry for the long rant.