'Introduced' Relationships?

[Grumpy Bob]

What's your opinions on such things?

I live in a very culturally and ethnically diverse city.  I have a best friend.  One of those relationships where there's no scientific explanation, we just came into each others lives and stayed.  He would and has done anything for me, and vice versa.

In his culture, Introduction is very common.  It's like everyone is a part-time amateur match-maker. 

Now, keeping mind that we'd be talking about an Introduction, not an arranged marriage.  He has suggested making introductions in the past, and I have always politely declined.  But TBH, partly because I feel that such a relationship would be stigmatised.  Also because typically the suggestions were very young, and I don't feel right about such relationships.

I also have overall reservations about a 2nd marriage.

Now his latest suggestion, is a little different.  (It is his wife's cousin.) 

• She is older, so less of an age-gap. 
• She is tall for their ethnicity, so would not look ridiculous standing with me
• She already has two youngish children, so would not be expecting to start a family.  (I love kids, but don't want to father any more because of my age.)
• She has her own money.  So IF she were to be interested in me, there's no concern that she's after a meal-ticket.  It also means I wouldn't compromise my existing family obligations.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Grumpy Bob said:

 his latest suggestion is his wife's cousin.

This is how his culture operates. He's doing what they do. Trying to fix up available people. That's ok.

All you can do if you're interested is agree to meet her for a drink/date/coffee.  Then see if you're interested at all. If not, be diplomatic because fix-ups like this can be tricky.

[Alvi]

It is perfectly normal for people in any cultures to introduce their single relatives and friends to someone. Why do you feel that there is something wrong with that? You can either meet or decline. Meeting someone for a cup of coffee is totally OK regardless of how the two of you came together. If you don't want your friend to be a matchmaker, say that you appreciate his effort but you like your life as is and you don't want to be introduced. Who knows, maybe if the two of you meet, she is the one who is not going to like you, lol.

 

[mark clemson]

There's no reason to not give it a shot and see how it goes. Just don't feel beholden to your friend to "make it work" if you and she are incompatible in some way.

[smackie9]

Hey why not. Dating these days is hard enough, so why not give it a shot. I get it, if you reject them then their might be some butt hurt feelings from your friend but, if you stipulate that there will be no guarantee for a match and not to take offence, you should be good to go.

[ZA Dater]

To be honest to me at least in theory this seems like one of the best ways to date, be introduced to people by friends!