My wife texts nonstop

[Hvymetalmg]

My wife has always wanted to be on reality tv for some reason. I guess the fantasy of those “reality” shows excite her. I mean the competition shows like Survivor. She’s applied to be on that and Big Brother. 
 

I fully support her if this is why she wants to do. But she’s recently found online versions of these games. To my surprise, there’s a pretty large community of people that play these.  So she found one and it basically absorbed her time al day and night talking to random people. 
 

shes done another game and same result. No time to put lots to sleep. Or spend time with us. Eveb on our vacation she spent most of the time talking and on zoom calls doing things on the game.  
 

now they have ended and she’s maintained the relationships which is fine. But what’s not done is she is constantly texting these people non stop until 2 am. I’m left very tired and having to take on most of the responsibilities. 
 

I’ve told her how I feel multiple times. I told her she needs to cut down on this and make tile for this but time for me. And the family. She always says yes she knows. Bit then as soon as her text buzzes she’s back head first in the phone. My older son is 10 and even he has to tel jy wife to chill with this. 
 

I don’t know what else to do other than keep telling her she needs tk stop or else. 
 

Any advice?

[Ageless Wisdom23]

It appears she is like many out there who are hooked on certain games and along with this Now, She is zooming  as well.  She is obsessed and is forgetting her responsibilities.  You need to clamp down or it could be all of your demise under that roof.  I had a relative who left her partner because he lived in his own dream world. 😗

Edited May 25, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23

[glows]

Do they win any cash prizes? Have finances ever been an issue? 

She’s getting something out of the game that she isn’t getting in her usual routine and life at home. Is it just social stimulation or does she get more out of it? Does she have a job or do either of you work? 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Hvymetalmg said:

 I fully support her if this is why she wants to do. But she’s recently found online versions of these games.

I’m left very tired and having to take on most of the responsibilities.

Try to stop enabling and supporting this.  Go to work, do your fair share around the house and only take care of yourself and your children. 

Does she work? Does she contribute to household responsibility and childcare? What exactly does she do all day besides get lost in this thing? 

It seems she's disconnected from you and reality by immersing herself in a fantasy. Talking to her and asking her to stop hasn't worked, so you'll need to take action by not picking up the slack.

[JTSW]

Stop supporting and enabling it.

Tell her straight that if all she cares about is that stupid game then she can leave.

Make her choose. Her family? or a stupid game?

Be firm.

[basil67]

Being online can be addictive....heaven knows, I spend to much time here on LoveShack and have trouble stepping back.    But your wife seems to  have taken it a step further, with her family suffering the consequences.  Sounds like addiction to me.  

I'd suggest you attend Al Anon.  Yes, I know it's primarily for those who have partners who have alcohol/drug/gambling addiction, but they will give you the tools to figure out how to deal with this.  Yes, it may ultimately end up with her having to make a decision, but hopefully she will see the light before it gets to that point.

I wonder if there are marriage counsellors who specialise in addiction  I bet there are

[Nowherenear]

I'd send her divorce papers and eviction from the family house.

[Hvymetalmg]

Thanks, I needed to confirm my feelings.  Maybe therapy 

[mark clemson]

15 hours ago, Hvymetalmg said:

shes done another game and same result. No time to put lots to sleep. Or spend time with us. Eveb on our vacation she spent most of the time talking and on zoom calls doing things on the game.  

now they have ended and she’s maintained the relationships which is fine. But what’s not done is she is constantly texting these people non stop until 2 am. I’m left very tired and having to take on most of the responsibilities.

Any advice?

Agree with others it sounds like she's developed an addiction. You may need to confront her with this (possibly subtly rather than directly) and get her to see it's an issue. She probably needs some therapy and/or coping skills to manage these tendencies so they no longer take over her life.

Edited May 25, 2023 by mark clemson

[Nowherenear]

On 5/25/2023 at 4:54 PM, Hvymetalmg said:

Thanks, I needed to confirm my feelings.  Maybe therapy 

Maybe put her up for eviction. She'll get the point.

[Els]

If she is abandoning real-life responsibilities to play, then this has become an addiction. Unfortunately you need to stop covering for her if she isn't handling her own responsibilities in the house. Take care of the kids, sure, but don't take over chores that were previously hers. She also needs to talk to a mental health professional about this.

On 5/27/2023 at 3:26 AM, Nowherenear said:

Maybe put her up for eviction. She'll get the point.

I hope you're aware that you can't ever legally evict a spouse, lol. The house belongs equally to her. The OP can, of course, file for a divorce if nothing changes, but the house will still be split.

[OurLoveTurnsToRust]

Anything going on in her life she is looking to escape from?  Recent trauma?  Tell her you're concerned, want to help her, locate a therapist together after you find out what is really going on.  Be an advocate for her and support her.

[LuckyM]

She is bored at home. This is her escapism and she loves it. No therapy or punitive methods will work, or talking with her.

She is beyond that. No, the best way is to offer her incentives to spend her time with you. You will need to

give her a greater better alternative. Don't know what, exactly. Some places she'd like to go or do. Not as a gift!  Surely, she has other strong

interests you couldpersuade her for a while. Hopefully long term.  Good luck

[Nowherenear]

On 5/28/2023 at 2:07 PM, Els said:

I hope you're aware that you can't ever legally evict a spouse, lol. The house belongs equally to her. The OP can, of course, file for a divorce if nothing changes, but the house will still be split.

I was making a joke because she likes Big Brother. 😛

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, Nowherenear said:

I was making a joke because she likes Big Brother. 😛

Actually someone's pain and trying situation is not funny.  I suggest marriage counseling and discontinuing enabling this. 

Unfortunately "or else" is not as effective as only taking care of yourself and your children and leaving her to her own devices. If she has to clean, shop, cook, look after the children and work, she won't have time to indulge her addiction to this.

 

[the_Demon_who_married_an_a]

I am in the same boat here. My wife has her face buried in her phone 24/7 and it pisses me off. 5 to 6,000 messages a month per our bill. Its ridiculous, Worse than my teenage girls. Shes a text fiend.

Edited June 8, 2023 by the_Demon_who_married_an_a