Hooking up versus a relationship.

[ZA Dater]

Ok so its fair to say dating and attempting to have a relationship has been for the most part a fruitless exercise. For my own peace of mind are the skills needed to date the same skills as one would need to hook up?

Unfortunately due to my personality type I suspect I'd be hopeless at trying to hook up much as I am at trying to date but guys especially what sort of mindset do you have to do the whole NSA hookup?

From where I sit again it would seem looks are helpful, charm is helpful and dare I say it a small degree of manipulation might be helpful, am I wrong?

I suppose ultimate attraction is even more important as would be an ability to connect with someone quickly, again I might be wrong.

Along those lines I suppose it would be helpful to discern interest?

[Weezy1973]

You had difficulty having sex with a woman you were in a relationship with. Why would you be interested in hook-ups? Sexual intimacy seems to be a major roadblock for you and that’s a hindrance in all romantic relationships from marriage to one night stands. You need to do some introspection as to why you struggle so much with your sexuality before even contemplating hook ups.

[ZA Dater]

3 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

You had difficulty having sex with a woman you were in a relationship with. Why would you be interested in hook-ups? Sexual intimacy seems to be a major roadblock for you and that’s a hindrance in all romantic relationships from marriage to one night stands. You need to do some introspection as to why you struggle so much with your sexuality before even contemplating hook ups.

Never said I wanted to hook up, frankly my attractiveness is so low the people who would want to hook up with me are ones I do not find attractive. This is more a "if I were deemed attractive" would the thinking be any different between hooking up and having a relationship. In other words purely a "in theory" question.

 

[NuevoYorko]

Of course it's different.  That's why there are specific terms for each.  Why be deliberately obtuse?  For attention here?  Instead, how about just answering this question for yourself.  What do YOU think?

[glows]

Lol no manipulation needed. Just be genuine and interested in other people. Be honest and kind. If you’re able to date just say so and get to know people, no agenda. 

Where it starts to feel creepy is when someone thinks they can get lucky regardless of what others think or feel. 

[glows]

*not able

[Els]

3 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Never said I wanted to hook up, frankly my attractiveness is so low the people who would want to hook up with me are ones I do not find attractive. This is more a "if I were deemed attractive" would the thinking be any different between hooking up and having a relationship. In other words purely a "in theory" question.

 

I mean, that's like asking if there's a difference between the thinking of someone who's intending to do the Pacific Crest Trail and someone who's intending to walk to the local park today evening. 😂 While on the surface there might appear to be some similarities (e.g. both the PCT and the local park involve walking, and both relationships and hookups involve sex), they are pretty fundamentally different things.

[Alpacalia]

Well, it looks like you've done your research! All kidding aside, dating and hooking up require two totally different mindsets. When it comes to hooking up, you want to avoid lengthy conversations and emotional connections. Focus on flirting and having a good time, and the rest should follow. If you're able to make a quick connection and detect mutual interest, you'll be well on your way. Best of luck!