mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago. He said he needed a break. I let a couple of days pass before calling to clarify the "terms" of the break...you know is this so that you can get yourself together or are we broken up ...that kind of thing. The conversation didn't go well. I did a lot of crying. He insisted that nothing had to change, we could be friends. He had paid for a plane ticket and wanted me to visit him anyway that weekend. I told him no. ...I said that I coudn't be around him feeling the way I did with this new spin on things. When he asked for the third time, I told him that I needed to focus on an upcoming exam. He insisted that people break up and get back together all the time, and I told him I never had (although I swear I thought he was my future and wanted this to be true in our case). He begged that we stay in contact and be friends for the here and now... I told him that I wouldn't be calling him anymore (although I told him that I can't imagine not having him in my life anymore/ not knowing him anymore) and that he wouldn't hear from me again in life (I don't want this to be true either for the here and now. maybe after time I will) I told him that right now, he wasn't being my friend (he refused to let me know why he was breaking up with me...though i believe he met another girl....so I could move on to the next guy without all the drama of unresolved issues) that he was being HIS friend...He swore he loved me more than any woman in the world over and over and that he hated to hear me cry. I told him that my tears were because it hurt, I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, and I wasn't trying to make him stay with me or anything I just hurt. I told him that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I want what God has for me. He said that the break was necessary and that if he did come back it would be forever...for marriage. I asked him how when he was so sure of us in the beginning of our relationship could I trust him a second time if he came back after all of this confusion. He asked if I was angry with him...and I told him that I was angry because he pushed so hard in the beginning and made me believe that he really wanted "us" just to turn around and do this. It seems as if he intentionally set out to conquer and hurt me. Maybe I am just hurting... My questions...... 1. I did a lot of crying...did I lose my dignity in all of this? I hope that I said the right things through the tears to let him know that I respected and loved myself enough to not accept a half commitment from a man. 2. Did the things I DID say place a wedge so tight that he would feel that he could never come back if he ever did want to? We haven't spoken in two weeks now. 3. How can he love me and not care enough to call?? Please know that I am not here waiting for him to come back....but after many many relationships, I really thought he was the one, and that for the moment, I hope that we might have a future together. I couldn't take him back if he came tomorrow though. Things would seriously have to be different....and i think this IS really a good thing no matter how bad it hurts. Its not good to be in a one sided relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 somebody please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
illinois-guy Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 well what your going through is just about the same thing that i am, just switched around. but for 1. i think that you crying is a natural thing, becuase if you love him so much, then the crying is just going to happen. your not crying cuz you want to make him feel bad, your crying because it does hurt, and you cant help it but to cry. and 2. just call him one of these days and dont say a word about the break up just ask how hes doing whats he been up to latly just act like theres nothing wrong, but just if he knows that your still willing to talk to him then he will think he can come back but if you continue not to talk then he will get the impression that you dont want him at all anymore. and 3. its a break maybe he just needs some time to think about something or work something out of his system, ands thats sometime best by just not talking, but i know that goes both ways you calling him and you giving him time without talking, but i would just still call and just talk like friends dont make him feel uncomfortale that will just show that you still are willing to talk to him Link to post Share on other sites
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