Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 8 hours ago, SideChick23 said: hope he doesn’t reach out. If he does, then I am going to ask him to leave her. You have no leverage in this. He hasn't left her in 6 years. He's not afraid of losing you, the way you're afraid of losing him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 I think a comment I made was taken out of context. I have NO intentions of reaching out to him and asking him to leave her. I have no intentions of reaching out to him at all. I’m staying on my path to healing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 3 minutes ago, SideChick23 said: I think a comment I made was taken out of context. I have NO intentions of reaching out to him and asking him to leave her. I have no intentions of reaching out to him at all. I’m staying on my path to healing. I applaud you for doing what is smart and brave. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 I read the earlier post as twisted humour (mine is just as twisted) like giving the finger after saying goodbye/block. I know you’re upset but you’re right - stick to the path of healing and finish with this man. Good that you’re moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 While it's important to give yourself time to "process" a breakup, I suspect that after six year and what sounds like an extended duration during that latter part of that feeling "unfulfilled," that you won't take too long to be over this. Perhaps/hopefully brighter things are ahead for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 The fact that he is still there - WITH HER - is your answer! I’ve been abroad - I had phone service in many remote areas. That’s an excuse. it just proves his priority is to her = and more reason to stay strong so you can move forward and enjoy a happy life! You deserve that!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 Do you think he will try to reach out? I’m trying to prepare for the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 Make a plan for if he does contact you and then cross your fingers that he doesn't. There's really nothing else you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 11 minutes ago, SideChick23 said: Do you think he will try to reach out? If you deleted and blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps, how could he? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: If you deleted and blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps, how could he? Another phone number or email? I blocked from everything. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 15 minutes ago, SideChick23 said: Another phone number or email? I blocked from everything. Yes, it's super easy to make a new email address. Or get a burner phone But he may not bother. Hope for the best and plan for the worst 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 1 hour ago, SideChick23 said: Another phone number or email? I blocked from everything. Well now you know not to respond to any unknown phone numbers or buy a burner phone. That's pretty easy to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 1 hour ago, S2B said: The fact that he is still there - WITH HER - is your answer! I’ve been abroad - I had phone service in many remote areas. That’s an excuse. it just proves his priority is to her = and more reason to stay strong so you can move forward and enjoy a happy life! You deserve that!!! I agree. He's definitely had more than enough opportunities to shoot you a text if he really had wanted to. He could do that in a public restroom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Be prepared for when he does reach out. he will. Mainly because he wants his usual ego strokes and can’t live long without the extra attention. but just know that him reaching out is to serve a purpose to his benefit - not yours. i would be ready - when he reaches out or shows up at your door - the only thing to say is “it’s over - and if you ever contact me again - I’ll go straight to your wife and tell her EVERYTHING!” practice it. It helps. this is your opportunity to take back the chance at having a happy future by eliminating someone who’s wasted a lot of your time!! Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 9 hours ago, SideChick23 said: Do you think he will try to reach out? I’m trying to prepare for the worst. He will most likely try to contact you. You just have to ignore and block every number or email that he contacts you with. Do not let him try and sway you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 9 hours ago, SideChick23 said: Another phone number or email? I blocked from everything. Has he tried to reach out since he's back from vacation? He may try again at some point if he's bored or wants to get out of the house for a while. But if you effectively avoid contact (including circumventing blocks) you'll be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Has he tried to reach out since he's back from vacation? He may try again at some point if he's bored or wants to get out of the house for a while. But if you effectively avoid contact (including circumventing blocks) you'll be ok. No. I haven’t heard a thing from him. I’m actually a little surprised, but maybe this is really finally over. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 41 minutes ago, SideChick23 said: No. I haven’t heard a thing from him. I’m actually a little surprised, but maybe this is really finally over. Pray that he has finally decided to put an end to this affair so you can just move on. Maybe he had a revelation while they were away on vacay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 (edited) 47 minutes ago, stillafool said: Pray that he has finally decided to put an end to this affair so you can just move on. Maybe he had a revelation while they were away on vacay. I don’t think the revelation of the vacation is what did it for him. Normally when I get frustrated, I’ll go a couple of days and not reach out. It gives me a chance to not say something I didn’t mean and then move forward. When he told me about this trip, I think I finally just snapped. I made it very clear I was not happy about this and if he went then I was moving on. I’m assuming he thought I was bluffing. He told me on a Monday. I went silent. He tried to text me that Weds, cause I can see he sent something and then unsent it. I went radio silent the few days leading up to the vacation and then blocked him the day he left. I believe he though I’d reach out by now. This is now week 2 of my silence. He either really got the hint or is waiting for me to break. He’s in for a rude awakening though. I’m not breaking my silence. He had 6 years to figure this out. I’m done. Edited June 13, 2023 by SideChick23 Spelling error 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 2 hours ago, SideChick23 said: I went radio silent the few days leading up to the vacation and then blocked him the day he left. If you did the above: 3 hours ago, SideChick23 said: No. I haven’t heard a thing from him. I’m actually a little surprised, but maybe this is really finally over. Why were you surprised that you have not heard from him? He's blocked, isn't he? 20 hours ago, SideChick23 said: Do you think he will try to reach out? I’m trying to prepare for the worst. And, why are you asking this? 19 hours ago, SideChick23 said: I blocked from everything. When you've done this? We've already told you not to answer or look at any unknown phone numbers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ice3784 Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 On 6/5/2023 at 12:08 AM, SideChick23 said: This is probably the best explanation I have read so far. You are so beyond right. I know I have no right to say this, but I am also feeling bad for his wife. Whether she knows about us or not, he’s robbing her at the chance of someone loving her properly too. I need to use this week to figure out what I really want. This is clearly not working as it is. I’m entitled to more and so much more. I do love him, but I think him and I have a different definition of love. Get your courage and be strong enough to leave. I have been in your place. Wasted more years than you did. He will not leave you. He will not leave her. You have to find your way to leave. Just remember, someone will love you better. Start by going out on dates, even if you feel like you are betraying him. Cause he was betraying you for still sleeping or kissing or hugging his wife still. When you start go out on dates and met new people, your brain will start to compare this relationship with the potential relationship you may have. Slowly you will detached from him. He cant give you the happiness you want. I wanted a home for me and him. But he took my home as ours, without him being fully in that home, and keep what he have with his wife, as it is. So i have half a man, incomplete home, while he have 2 homes, 1 for real, and 1 for fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 27, 2023 Share Posted June 27, 2023 On 6/8/2023 at 1:58 PM, SideChick23 said: This is where I’m struggling. The contingency plan. I’ve reached the mad stage. I’m just so mad about everything. I’ve got a few more days left of him gone. This has made it so much easier to navigate because I know he can’t reach out. Blocking was a good start for me. I can hope all I want that he will just get the hint and move on, but in reality that is not true. I want the cycle broken. I want to move on and not have him in my life. It’s going to be tough and I know it. I just have to stay strong and firm. You deserve to be number 1 in your guy's life. You are never going to be number 1 in MM's life, no matter what he tries to hint at. Hinting at more in the future is what keeps you hanging on. When you put this guy behind you and move out on your own it will feel scary and lonely at first, but you will know you are putting yourself first and that this is the start of a new self confidence. You will be able to make this mental shift. Have some sort of symbol to focus on which means to you the promise of a new and better future without him, something which means freedom and happiness to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SideChick23 Posted January 30, 2024 Author Share Posted January 30, 2024 Update: we are still a thing and now on year 7. We’ve been very happy and stronger than ever. He is no closer to even discussing divorce and while I feel stupid for continuing this affair, I’m happy. I’m holding out hope that we will beat the odds and end up together in the end. I know many will disagree with me, but I truly do love him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 As long as you're getting your needs met as "side chick," and you don't personally value honesty in a partner, I guess there is no reason to want anything different. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 When you get sick or need emotional support, will this man drop everything and be there for you? Link to post Share on other sites
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