AC874 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Hi, I went to meet my x-gf unexpectidly last night, it totally surprised her (caught her off guard), just because I felt like I needed some final closure. During the 4 years together, I have had my moments of insecurity/stress.. maybe even a bit of paranoia. However during this time, we had many many awesome memories that will last a lifetime. I feel like I need sometime to be by myself in order to improve myself. After meeting her last night, she told me (after 3 weeks), that she has no romantic feelings left for me. She said "she is over me", and has fallen out of love with me..... 3 weeks ago she called me 3 times in one day to tell me she loved me. So therefore I think thats BULLSH*t. She is just trying to put a brave face on, in order to help herself move on. She doesnt see us ever getting back together. But those are only words.... time and god have the ability to change hearts. This is the girl I love and want to marry. Yes, im only 22 and I need to grow up. We said our goodbye's.. and talked that maybe getting together as friends in the future. What do you guys suggest I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 You said your goodbyes.. Now stick to those.. You are not going to marry her.. It isn't in the cards. She has told you she fell out of love with you..... ****Flashing Sign ***** That doesn't mean.. hey I still love you and want to marry you.. It means you move on.. you can try tricks to see if you can get a rise out of her.. But even then they won't lead to marriage.. Sorry ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC874 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 Is it possible that maybe realize things after time? It is inconceivable to me that somebody, after 4 years, will forget who you are.. and forget why they fell in love with you. It was only 2 months ago, she told her friends that she thought I was the one. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 i fell out of love with someone after 9 years. we were not married, it was a young, continuous relationship from high school. it happens. when i told him i was out of love with him, i was serious. and i probably had told him i loved him 4 weeks before that....and maybe i did, but the point is i didn't anymore. it was over. i don't think she's putting on a brave face--i know it probably makes you feel better to think she is, but i really believe she's being honest with you about how she feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC874 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 And you never had any feelings for him again? Did you at least have moments, or a moment where you reconciled? Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 And you never had any feelings for him again? Did you at least have moments, or a moment where you reconciled? no, never again, not once. that's the thing about girls...we don't tell you until we're certain. she didn't just decide one day to break up with you....she knew it was coming and was probably going back and forth and waiting for the point when it wouldn't bother her to know it was making you sad. she wanted out. she told you when she was ready, so i think she is ready. i could be wrong, but i would say that this seems pretty final. sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AC874 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 Well if you dont mind, what was your the break-up about? Have you seen/spoken to him since? Link to post Share on other sites
Still_In_Love Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Is it possible that maybe realize things after time? Yes it's possible....but time also is there for both of you to heal and move on. We don't know what the future holds, but you need to live for right now, not for what might happen later. It is inconceivable to me that somebody, after 4 years, will forget who you are.. and forget why they fell in love with you. After 4 years, 2 years, 6 months...no one is going to forget! They will reflect back and remember who you were and what you meant at that time in your life. It was only 2 months ago, she told her friends that she thought I was the one? My ex-gf told me in the morning how much she loved me and dumped me that night...no specific reason, she just said it was over. 1 month earlier she raised up the possibility that she wanted to marry me...99.9% sure!! NC...Don't call her, text her, email her...don't accept calls from her!! Move on and learn from your relationship....more importantly...heal yourself. It hurts but it's rewarding in the end because you find respect for yourself!! Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Look all you can do is pretty much nothing in regards to her. I have this exd that told me many times to get lost, she didnt love me, she didnt want contact etc.. and few weeks or few months there she is contacting me. Women tend to say things based on emotions which can change by the hour, day, minute, sec etc.. Just go out.. have corpus interuptus, etc etc.. and she may contact you down the road or not. Its very difficult to lose that feeling. And then you think I dont want to not be in love with her. Dont worry if she changes her mind and really wants you she will find ways to get you to want her.. So in the meantime do your own thing. I know you probably wish to think about her all day long etc... trust me thats not so good. I spent the last year wrapped up in someone. I kept thinking.. Oh I have to say this or that to her. Cause I did some crappy things.. but in reality, its all about the chase. ciao Link to post Share on other sites
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