Meeting women through Meetup

[Scotty Riggs]

There's a local mini golf meetup tomorrow via Meetup, and so far, only women have signed up. The group is for all young adults, so usually a mix of genders. One of reason I joined Meetup was to potentially meet women to then date. On one hand, this all-female event sounds fruitful, but on the other, would it be awkward if I was the only guy who signed up?

Edited June 8, 2023 by Scotty Riggs

[Ami1uwant]

Iirc meetup is a high cost paid dating set up meeting system.

[Scotty Riggs]

31 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

Iirc meetup is a high cost paid dating set up meeting system.

No, it's just a free website. Locals join clubs and meet for recreational activities.

https://www.meetup.com/

[Lotsgoingon]

No, show up and pretend you didn't know it was all women. They'll treat you fine and you'll meet a ton of women. 

Just relax. And focus on having fun with the game. Conversation--let it happen. Say hello to people and relax.

Dude, not only is this appropriate--this situation is ideal!!!!! You just have to control your anxiety. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Scotty Riggs said:

There's a local mini golf meetup tomorrow via Meetup, and so far, only women have signed up. 

Go for it. Could be fun .

[ZA Dater]

23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Go for it. Could be fun .

Agreed, sounds like a great situation.

[smackie9]

Just come with a sense of humor. Be confident and make jokes about being the only guy. If you sit silent you will seem creepy. 

Edited June 9, 2023 by smackie9

[Scotty Riggs]

Thanks, everyone. I'm not nervous. I might still go, but some of the more attractive women (according to their photos, anyway) have since dropped out. I haven't signed up yet, but I might... I notice with Meetups a lot of people sign up but then drop out the day of. Ironically, maybe if they don't see enough people signed up, they drop off and only dwindle the group even more. I know I've sometimes based my decision whether to sign up on that. Maybe had I, the only guy, signed up earlier, those women would have been curious enough to still go. Who knows.

Edited June 9, 2023 by Scotty Riggs

[Ageless Wisdom23]

Yes, I would feel awkward and any woman who is There, May feel you are looking to date or mate with someone.  I'd opt out 😘of it.

[Scotty Riggs]

26 minutes ago, Ageless Wisdom23 said:

Yes, I would feel awkward and any woman who is There, May feel you are looking to date or mate with someone.  I'd opt out 😘of it.

Isn't it funny how the guys are all encouraging, but a woman basically tells me, "No, leave them alone, weirdo."

Also, I am looking to date and mate. Is that wrong? That doesn't mean I'll be hitting on everyone or be disrespectful.

Edited June 9, 2023 by Scotty Riggs

[Lotsgoingon]

Absolutely go. Don't worry about "the attractive ones" aren't coming. That's your excuse. You don't know who's really attractive until you see them in person. And you also need and want the social experience of just interacting with people. You go out and you'll learn something about the group and you'll probably learn about other cool meetup groups that might interest you. Just take the first step. 

And your job is to just go for the experience and to meet people. I've gone to groups with almost all women before. In fact, I would say most of the meetups that I am really interested in have mostly women. It's like women are more social than guys. I don't know. Heck in my neighborhood, I'm noticing that the majority of joggers these days--I mean a good two thirds--are women. What's up with that? Wasn't like that 20 years ago!

Nobody has been weird with me at meetups with mostly women. Not at all. It's great practice to show up. What happens is you will gravitate towards people who are friendly to you and you will interact with them. And you'll learn a lot. And you'll get past a lot of anxiety!

Go dude, and report back!

 

[basil67]

6 hours ago, Scotty Riggs said:

Thanks, everyone. I'm not nervous. I might still go, but some of the more attractive women (according to their photos, anyway) have since dropped out. I haven't signed up yet, but I might... I notice with Meetups a lot of people sign up but then drop out the day of. Ironically, maybe if they don't see enough people signed up, they drop off and only dwindle the group even more. I know I've sometimes based my decision whether to sign up on that. Maybe had I, the only guy, signed up earlier, those women would have been curious enough to still go. Who knows.

Of those women who are interested in meeting a partner (and not all of them will be), they'd probably want it to be a large number of male attendees if they were going.  If I was interested in meeting a man, and the event had one man and ten women, I wouldn't bother getting out of bed for it 😜

 

[Scotty Riggs]

19 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Of those women who are interested in meeting a partner (and not all of them will be), they'd probably want it to be a large number of male attendees if they were going.  If I was interested in meeting a man, and the event had one man and ten women, I wouldn't bother getting out of bed for it 😜

 

Sure. Although it could also depend on the handsomeness of that one guy's profile photo. 😁

I ended up not going because it dwindled to three women, one of whom I've already met, and it's a 30-minute commute. There will be more opportunities.

[basil67]

40 minutes ago, Scotty Riggs said:

Sure. Although it could also depend on the handsomeness of that one guy's profile photo. 😁

 

Nah, still wouldn't get out of bed for that.  A guy's profile pic means nothing in the grand scheme of things....he could be a total wanker 🍆

Sounds very smart to cancel if you weren't that into it anyway.  Do you even like mini golf?  I swear, it's one of the most boring and tedious activities I've ever done.  

Edited June 9, 2023 by basil67

[Scotty Riggs]

46 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Nah, still wouldn't get out of bed for that.  A guy's profile pic means nothing in the grand scheme of things....he could be a total wanker 🍆

Sounds very smart to cancel if you weren't that into it anyway.  Do you even like mini golf?  I swear, it's one of the most boring and tedious activities I've ever done.  

Hahah, fair enough. No, I don't play mini golf, but it seemed like a decent way to socialize compared to some meetups they've had, like an outdoor movie.

[basil67]

True ^   And it's not like you can talk during a movie.   

[Andy_K]

I like mini-golf. So in your position I'd likely go regardless of whether it was mostly male or female, attractive or not. That's the sort of attitude you want to take into these things, or else you have a good chance to come across as having an agenda.

As far as whether single women looking to meet men would go with such an unfavourable ratio... that's not really the point. You want to meet people who are open to dating, they don't need to be actively looking for it.

[Alpacalia]

I was curious too if you're actually into mini golf?

Mini golf sounds fun to me, with its colorful obstacles and bright lights that sparkle in the night. While Meetup.com may have some groups that are catered towards dating, most people are just looking to find other individuals who share similar interests. Forget not that there are many ways to meet someone new: classes, meetups and hobbies. These are also great opportunities to make new friends and engage in social activities.

It's likely you'll find someone who ignites your soul by being open to new experiences and engaging in activities that appeal to you.

[basil67]

OK, so there is disagreement about mini golf - and that’s cool because we don’t all like the same things.  But total agreement on people simply wanting to find friends to do their hobbies with.   

[Alpacalia]

It's all good Bas, mini-golf is definitely something that a lot of people don't enjoy. Baseball may not be my cup of tea, but it is undeniably one of the most popular sports around. I was at a baseball game when Derek Jeter hit a record grand slam, everyone stood up going crazy cheering and I was there immersed in my women's magazine.

[Wiseman2]

Since the ex you're seeing again is sort of an iffy situation, continue to keep trying to meet people in real life, such as these groups and through dating apps.

[mark clemson]

17 hours ago, Scotty Riggs said:

There will be more opportunities.

Speaking generally I think Meetups are a good way to meet potential partners, as a certain % of the folks there tend to be single and at least open to the idea of potentially dating someone they meet there. Exactly like you appear to be.

I would imagine a meetup where you're the only male could get weird, but it would depend on the specifics - the purpose of the meetup, the specific women who are there, the social skills of the guy (and of the women), etc, etc. Generally I'd imagine a "mixed group" would probably make everyone feel more comfortable WRT male/female interactions.

I would think your profile pic would be less important for Meetups than, e.g. a dating site, although if you're single and looking I'd say you still want it to look good. Specific individual women can have all sorts of preferences and viewpoints towards attractive men, but, all other things being equal, as a statistical tendency the better looking you are the more opportunities to potentially get things rolling you are likely to have. I wouldn't go all out on a Meetup profile pic though, as that might be off-putting for some (since it's ultimately not really a dating site).

Edited June 10, 2023 by mark clemson

[Scotty Riggs]

 

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Since the ex you're seeing again is sort of an iffy situation, continue to keep trying to meet people in real life, such as these groups and through dating apps.

Thanks, but by "ex" do you mean the woman I met on Instagram? We've hung out four times, and she only gave me her cell number this week, so not quite an ex. Last year's 6-month situationship is much more of an ex. I did hang out with the latter impromptu this spring, but we're not in regular contact and I've no plans to reach out.

1 hour ago, mark clemson said:

Speaking generally I think Meetups are a good way to meet potential partners, as a certain % of the folks there tend to be single and at least open to the idea of potentially dating someone they meet there. Exactly like you appear to be.

I've already seen three women in one Meetup group that have dating profiles on Hinge, so I think it's fair to say many people on Meetup are looking for friends and also quietly scoping dating prospects.

[mortensorchid]

Meetups are great things to do, especially when you really click with others.  I was part of a trivia Meetup group and we instantly hit it off and we were possessed- hitting up games all over the city.  But that was unusual and now it's over and done with.  But I digress...

Try and try and try until you find what works.

[smackie9]

People dropped out because there were no men signing up. Should have signed up and then other men probably would have signed up and then those women wouldn't have dropped out. The more you hesitate about life, the more things won't happen. 

Edited June 12, 2023 by smackie9