Amelie-20 Posted June 11, 2023 Posted June 11, 2023 Hi, how are you? I met this guy a few months ago, he is doing an internship in the place where I'm working until the end of the year. He is a very extroverted person. He has no fear to express feelings, so he's warm and expressive verbally and physically with everyone, all genders (basically, a very friendly person). On the other hand, I'm a bit introverted and don't like physical touch until I am closer to another person, I'm not so talkative until people pass some kind of threshold. Then, I turn into a very affectionate person too. We both get along very well, as he is very smart and talkative and it feels so easy to be with him. I like a lot his personality, I feel like he shines. I know that also there are things that I don't like so much, but right now I think that the things that I like are much more important than the others. I'm asking for advice for the classical reason. I don't know whether he likes me or not, because he is so nice to me but he is naturally extroverted, and I don't know if it's only his way of being or If I'm special to him. I'm gonna tell you some things that he has done and make my heart race a little bit. For example, I went on a work travel for two weeks. When I came back, he left a chocolate on my desk with a little post-it with "welcome" written on it. He gave me a strong hug when he saw me back, but I cannot tell if it was a strong one because of me or him. He is willing to help me whenever I need it, without me asking for it. Is like he knows somehow...So I feel that he cares for me. We talk in almost every pause I do (he is at my work twice a week, and I don't like to get distracted from what I'm doing, so I suppress the "urgency" that I feel to go to where is he and only talk to him at this moments). We laugh a lot together, he makes a lot of jokes and we have many types of conversations. He seems very interested in my thoughts and who I am, as he asks lots of questions about me (and that gave me the chance to return the questions). But I repeat, I don't know if this is part of his personality and it's driving me crazy because he is a person that's normally curious. The last thing is what happened last night. We went to an event with some common friends. It was really freezing at night and even though I bundled up well, I was shivering with cold and not saying anything. He saw me and ask if I was very cold, so I nodded with my head. He came over to me, partially hugged me from behind with one arm, and began stroking my arms and back gently and tenderly, asking me if I was comfortable with that. I felt blushing and butterflies in my stomach, but I let him hug me and get closer because I really like him and I felt that it was a special moment (and I really was freezing too, so it was very nice). It didn't happen once, but twice. Later he traveled with me on the first bus and accompanied me to take the second and did the same while we were waiting. Honestly, I can't stop thinking about it and I felt myself falling in love more, the butterflies come back every time I remember it. He asked me to send him a text when I get home, and I thanked him for the company. He replied, "Thanks to you, for staying late (at the event) and also traveling with me. Double prize". My heart melted with that text. I'm so afraid of these feelings, they came stronger each day that passes by. He is so sweet...And I don't know how to disambiguate if it's only a very nice guy or if these are signs of interest, due to my inexperience in this matter. I ask for your opinions and advice, what do you think and what would you do in my place. Thank you all for reading!
NuevoYorko Posted June 11, 2023 Posted June 11, 2023 (edited) If he feels comfortable enough to caress you at an event, he's certainly up to asking you out if he feels like it. It doesn't seem like he'd be held back about you being a co-worker, since putting his hands on you is pretty bold. So I think he will ask you out if he actually wants to date. If you're on the bold side yourself, you can ask him out and see where it goes. But I'd like to caution you about "falling in love" because a guy is being friendly and flirty at work. Hold yourself in check. Edited June 11, 2023 by NuevoYorko 2
Wiseman2 Posted June 11, 2023 Posted June 11, 2023 8 hours ago, Amelie-20 said: he is doing an internship in the place where I'm working until the end of the year. he's warm and expressive verbally and physically with everyone, He seems like a friendly guy, but it's complicated because he's doing his internship there. He may not want to jeopardize that. He seems to like you as a person, but he hasn't asked you out. That may be due to professional boundaries or he isn't available or he sees you as a friend.
JTSW Posted June 12, 2023 Posted June 12, 2023 As it has been a few months and he hasn't asked you out or made a move, I'd say he is not interested in you romantically. He is a super friendly guy. An older male colleague of mine, a good friend, did the hug thing to me on a work Xmas do a few years back because I was freezing. It didn't mean anything at all. 1
Alpacalia Posted June 12, 2023 Posted June 12, 2023 On 6/10/2023 at 7:34 PM, Amelie-20 said: Honestly, I can't stop thinking about it and I felt myself falling in love more, the butterflies come back every time I remember it. He asked me to send him a text when I get home, and I thanked him for the company. He replied, "Thanks to you, for staying late (at the event) and also traveling with me. Double prize". My heart melted with that text. Hold up, my friend. Take some deep breaths and try to slow down. Just think about your feelings logically. Do you really know this person? I know it can be really exciting/overwhelming when you have those butterflies in your stomach and you feel like you're falling in love, but it's important to be mindful and not get carried away. It sounds like he may have a fondness for you, but not be keen on taking things any further. While he may value your presence it's not a strong enough connection for him to propel things forward.
glows Posted June 12, 2023 Posted June 12, 2023 He’s an intern. There’s some power imbalance here if you’re an employee and not an intern yourself. It’s unlikely he’s going to ever make a move at least until his internship is over. Forget the traditional mindset here. Ask him out if you want to see him outside of work. Otherwise stick to just work. He certainly feels comfortable around you and knows you like him.
stillafool Posted June 12, 2023 Posted June 12, 2023 You will know he has a romantic interest in you if he asks you out.
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