Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) Is this rejection? I met a guy at the club, i made all the moves, eye contact, asked for number, initated convos. We talked on the phone and laughed a lot, i thought we were vibing. I live out of the city and quite far so it's not easy to see eachother, it has to be planned out because of our schedules too. We never saw eachother in person after the club. He sent me a message how he doesn't think it would work out because we don't see eachother. Which is reasonable to me. However....he doesn't initiate convo anymore. Seems like he's not even interested in keeping intouch why? There are guys I meet, even though nothing happens between us we still communicate from time to time.. but this one was just like " bye forever". Pretty much. Edited June 12, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 He's not keeping in touch because he doesn't want a penpal 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 Just now, basil67 said: He's not keeping in touch because he doesn't want a penpal So can't we be friends?? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 He's probably got enough friends. And even then, you'd be a friend who he doesn't see. Not much point really 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 Just now, basil67 said: He's probably got enough friends. And even then, you'd be a friend who he doesn't see. Not much point really I made him laugh alot though 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 And if you'd been able to see each other, you could have had fun dating or more. But it wasn't to be Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 Just now, basil67 said: And if you'd been able to see each other, you could have had fun dating or more. But it wasn't to be It was like a month or two into meeting eachother, not like a whole year. Didn't even give our situationship time to blossom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 I like that he didn't ghost me though. At least he gave me a reason!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 49 minutes ago, justaskingok said: He sent me a message how he doesn't think it would work out because we don't see eachother. Which is reasonable to me. Try not to view this as a "rejection". He has a point about the distance and is probably dating locally. So doesn't want to chat in a go-nowhere situation. You could do the same. Get a good profile and pics on quality (paid) dating apps and start talking to and meeting local available interested men in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 36 minutes ago, justaskingok said: It was like a month or two into meeting eachother, not like a whole year. Didn't even give our situationship time to blossom. But if you couldn't see each other easily, there was nothing to blossom. I'm sorry it didn't work out 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Try not to view this as a "rejection". He has a point about the distance and is probably dating locally. So doesn't want to chat in a go-nowhere situation. You could do the same. Get a good profile and pics on quality (paid) dating apps and start talking to and meeting local available interested men in person. So do you think he was looking for a serious girlfriend then? Like, most guys, or some guys would keep a girl around "just incase"....for sex or something. (My ex told me that). He can't bother with me at all it seems. Not into dating sites. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 We can't tell you exactly what he was looking for, but it clearly involved being able to spend time together. Why didn't your schedules work? Was one of you working when the other was having time off and vice versa? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 I'm asking questions only he knows. And I should've probably asked him. But all I said was "ok :)". Smh. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) 13 minutes ago, justaskingok said: most guys, or some guys would keep a girl around "just incase"....for sex or something. (My ex told me that). No one knows what he's thinking. All you know is you gave him your number in a bar that is far away from you, and had a few chats until he politely stated he doesn't want to keep chatting. Your ex shouldn't be giving you (poor) dating advice. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. This man you gave your number to isn't trying to "keep you around" for anything. There's no point pursuing it. If you don't like dating apps and prefer making connections in person, join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses, broaden your social horizons. This way you can make friends and meet men in better settings than bars. Edited June 12, 2023 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 He was such a gentleman about it. He told me honestly and politely, didn't keep me guessing, didn't lead me on. I feel so happy and sad at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 Your previous post you said you had a bf/dating someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 Aww. Better it has ended now. Why drag this out only for it to go nowhere or take up your time. Maybe there’s a little ego bruised there that he shut this down so clearly instead of fading off or ghosting you. On the other hand you have a very clear idea now why these don’t pan out. At least one person was clear and vocal and considerate enough to spell it out for you why it doesn’t work for him. Not everyone would take the time to explain that. I’d take this as a valuable lesson and change things up. When you find out someone is out of town or lives far away their priority to you drops further down the dating candidate or time-taking list. The reality is you may not see each other as often and a lot of people aren’t into LDR or text-based relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 Well done for taking the plunge and talking to him. His words can be taken at face value and it was probably fortunate not to be serious. I've been handed a rejection slip for a potential relationship myself (ouch, that one really hit me), but hey, let's view it as two hilarious ships sailing past each other in the dark, and embrace the fact that it simply wasn't destined to happen. Fear not, for fortune shall surely smile upon you before long, bringing forth an individual closer in proximity, brimming with genuine interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 8 hours ago, JTSW said: Your previous post you said you had a bf/dating someone. Re read the thread I said he was not my boyfriend rather someone i was getting to know. And that didn't last long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 5 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Well done for taking the plunge and talking to him. His words can be taken at face value and it was probably fortunate not to be serious. I've been handed a rejection slip for a potential relationship myself (ouch, that one really hit me), but hey, let's view it as two hilarious ships sailing past each other in the dark, and embrace the fact that it simply wasn't destined to happen. Fear not, for fortune shall surely smile upon you before long, bringing forth an individual closer in proximity, brimming with genuine interest. So you agree that this is rejection right? We were just talking...we never spoke about a relationship or anything. It's like he decided he didn't want me in his life in anyway shape or form despite us having long covnos.....on the phone not text. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 Given that he was kind enough to give you a reason, I have no doubt that he originally saw you as a potential girlfriend. Then when it became obvious that your schedules/distance were unworkable, he put a neat and respectful end to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 2 hours ago, justaskingok said: . It's like he decided he didn't want me in his life in anyway shape or form despite us having long covnos.....on the phone not text. Seems more like a missed connection, than a "rejection". He doesn't know you that well and he has plenty of reasons not to want to continue chatting, especially the distance. You can't really take it personally. It's more of a disappointment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) 24 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Seems more like a missed connection, than a "rejection". He doesn't know you that well and he has plenty of reasons not to want to continue chatting, especially the distance. You can't really take it personally. It's more of a disappointment. Yeah thats what I find "different", usually I will still hear from guys from time to time or they will just disappear. It hasn't been much time yet, maybe he will reach out but it seems he completely doesn't want to talk. I haven't reached out either and won't. Edited June 12, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 1 minute ago, justaskingok said: Yeah thats what I find "different", usually I will still hear from guys from time to time or they will just disappear. It hasn't been much time yet, maybe he will reach out but it seems he completely doesn't want to talk. I haven't reached out either and won't. If he was planning on dropping in and saying Hi every now and then, he wouldn't have sent you a goodbye note. It's over. Best to just let go Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, justaskingok said: So you agree that this is rejection right? We were just talking...we never spoke about a relationship or anything. It's like he decided he didn't want me in his life in anyway shape or form despite us having long covnos.....on the phone not text. Yes, if he doesn't want to date you specifically because of the distance between you, it can be considered a form of rejection. In his case, his decision not to pursue dating is based on the practical obstacle of the geographical distance between you. Most men require a physical aspect to a relationship. Having conversations along the lines of "I want to hold you" can only do so much, and at some point it simply is not enough--no man wants to cuddle with his pillow.😂 Edited June 12, 2023 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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