Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Yes, if he doesn't want to date you specifically because of the distance between you, it can be considered a form of rejection. In his case, his decision not to pursue dating is based on the practical obstacle of the geographical distance between you. Most men require a physical aspect to a relationship. Having conversations along the lines of "I want to hold you" can only do so much, and at some point it simply is not enough--no man wants to cuddle with his pillow.😂 I didn't even know we were talking to eventually date, we were more on friend vibes because we never even flirted? All that " I want to hold you" talk didn't even happen between us. Lol. Edited June 12, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 @justaskingok men don't generally spend a lot of time chatting with a women to be "friends". He was talking with you with a view to escalate to more. In your first post, you wrote "i made all the moves, eye contact, asked for number, initated convos". This doesn't vibe as friends....and he certainly wouldn't have read it as friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 (edited) 13 minutes ago, justaskingok said: I didn't even know we were talking to eventually date, we were more on friend vibes because we never even flirted? All that " I want to hold you" talk didn't even happen between us. Lol. I get the sense he was aware of your amorous feelings towards him if you started a friendship with him in a nightclub, don't you think? Ha! No... I just meant hypothetically speaking if two people were actually in a long distance relationship. There would be a lot of pillow hugging. Edited June 12, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 12, 2023 Author Share Posted June 12, 2023 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: @justaskingok men don't generally spend a lot of time chatting with a women to be "friends". He was talking with you with a view to escalate to more. In your first post, you wrote "i made all the moves, eye contact, asked for number, init 5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I get the sense he was aware of your amorous feelings towards him if you started a friendship with him in a nightclub, don't you think? Ha! No... I just meant hypothetically speaking if two people were actually in a long distance relationship. There would be a lot of pillow hugging. ated convos". This doesn't vibe as friends....and he certainly wouldn't have read it as friends. Oh Yeah. I don't know why I'm forgetting our first interaction and me showing signs of amorous towards him. In person there was a spark of attraction but on the phone it was more checking up on eachother, laughing and bye. No flirting or sexual talk at all. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 11 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Oh Yeah. I don't know why I'm forgetting our first interaction and me showing signs of amorous towards him. In person there was a spark of attraction but on the phone it was more checking up on eachother, laughing and bye. No flirting or sexual talk at all. Exactly. You hooked him with the flirty vibes and he hoped that something would come of it. Nothing did, so he ended things. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 6 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Oh Yeah. I don't know why I'm forgetting our first interaction and me showing signs of amorous towards him. In person there was a spark of attraction but on the phone it was more checking up on eachother, laughing and bye. No flirting or sexual talk at all. Although the result was not what you may have desired, be proud of yourself for finding someone that you were attracted to. It is always worthwhile to have engaging conversations with someone, no matter the end result. There will be other nights and other chances for you to meet someone else who interests you. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 4 hours ago, justaskingok said: So you agree that this is rejection right? We were just talking...we never spoke about a relationship or anything. It's like he decided he didn't want me in his life in anyway shape or form despite us having long covnos.....on the phone not text. Maybe. It may be a complete waste of time in the sense that he has other women locally he can spend time with (much more convenient than you) or he is a one woman type of man or dates one at a time and found this far too tedious to keep up. First convos might be light and fun and long but ultimately not sustainable. Or, not something he wants to bother with because he thinks he won’t get enough from the experience. I wouldn’t say it’s a rejection as in he thinks disparagingly of you but more of an inconvenience overall, incompatible. Keep in mind some people don’t like loose ends hanging or for people like yourself to contact them out of the blue especially if they are pursuing someone else so I’d respectfully see this as him ending the texting and chatting to free both yourselves to find something more fulfilling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 9 hours ago, justaskingok said: It hasn't been much time yet, maybe he will reach out This is not likely. He's not interested and you just need to accept that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 9 hours ago, JTSW said: This is not likely. He's not interested and you just need to accept that. He messaged me at lunch time today though.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 Which is rich because I'm the one to always initiate convo. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 21 minutes ago, justaskingok said: He messaged me at lunch time today though.... What did he say? Did he ask you out? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 @justaskingok I don’t think analyzing whether or not it was a rejection is that important. The question is why are you so caught up on this guy and why do you care so much if he’s lost interest? It was inconvenient for both of you. Just move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 On 6/12/2023 at 12:13 AM, justaskingok said: I'm asking questions only he knows. And I should've probably asked him. But all I said was "ok :)". Smh. That's enough. This is a guy you met one time in a club. His further explanations are not useful to you. The two of you are not important to each other. It was an enjoyable social encounter with a stranger. Nice to have those, and leave it in your rear view mirror now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: @justaskingok I don’t think analyzing whether or not it was a rejection is that important. The question is why are you so caught up on this guy and why do you care so much if he’s lost interest? It was inconvenient for both of you. Just move on. I'm an over analyzer and an over thinker by nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 39 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Which is rich because I'm the one to always initiate convo. Most of the time* Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 44 minutes ago, stillafool said: What did he say? Did he ask you out? Why didn't you answer these questions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 (edited) 10 hours ago, justaskingok said: Which is rich because I'm the one to always initiate convo. What did his text say? I have found myself in some interesting positions over the years where I have received invitations for dates from people I met that weren't close by geographically. I'm aware that one of them had mentioned the possibility of a long-distance relationship, I'm not positive what the outcome would have been, but I know that it's important to be mindful and take the time getting to know someone before diving into a dating situation. It could be the same for him. While he has expressed that he is not interested in a long distance relationship, you have indicated that you have some romantic feelings for him and would like to remain friends. It sounds like your living distances are quite far apart. It seems like this could be a tricky situation for both of you. Are you prepared to invest in a friendship with him, knowing that he has stated he doesn't want to date long distance? Edited June 14, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 13 hours ago, justaskingok said: He messaged me at lunch time today though.... What did he say? Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 He may have😦 thought it over that Long Distance in this Sense, Was not for him. Consider him gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 On 6/12/2023 at 1:57 AM, justaskingok said: He sent me a message how he doesn't think it would work out because we don't see eachother. .....he doesn't initiate convo anymore. Seems like he's not even interested in keeping intouch why? If he doesn't want to date because of the distance, that seems fair enough. You mentioned he contacted you while at work. What was the nature of his communication? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 (edited) 11 hours ago, Alpacalia said: What did his text say? I have found myself in some interesting positions over the years where I have received invitations for dates from people I met that weren't close by geographically. I'm aware that one of them had mentioned the possibility of a long-distance relationship, I'm not positive what the outcome would have been, but I know that it's important to be mindful and take the time getting to know someone before diving into a dating situation. It could be the same for him. While he has expressed that he is not interested in a long distance relationship, you have indicated that you have some romantic feelings for him and would like to remain friends. It sounds like your living distances are quite far apart. It seems like this could be a tricky situation for both of you. Are you prepared to invest in a friendship with him, knowing that he has stated he doesn't want to date long distance? He just texted me "hi" thats all, I didn't reply yet. Should I? I was content with just talking to him on the phone TBH, I'm more than good with no relationship. You've read my other threads, the thought of having an official, serious relationship makes me cringe because of having to share everything. I enjoy talking to him as friends. Edited June 14, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 1 minute ago, justaskingok said: He just texted me "hi" thats all, I didn't reply yet. Should I? What do you want out of this whole thing? Someone to date? A texting buddy? A relationship? The father of your children? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 I feel like i lose brain cells everytime there's a man in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 14, 2023 Share Posted June 14, 2023 4 hours ago, justaskingok said: I feel like i lose brain cells everytime there's a man in my life. Which means what exactly? It seems like men and potential relationships trigger some sort of trauma response. If that’s right, then therapy seems like a good idea. The fact you don’t seem able to answer simple questions in a straightforward way is cause for concern. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: What do you want out of this whole thing? Someone to date? A texting buddy? A relationship? The father of your children? I was just going with the flow, I wasn't looking into the future. so I guess I was content with just talking to him, I wasn't like ommgggg I need to see him. Edited June 14, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
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