Guy said 'talk to you tomorrow' but didn't

[Weezy1973]

Getting this nervous and over analyzing before you even meet someone from OLD will lead to emotional burnout. Most people you meet from OLD won’t be compatible enough to start a relationship. No need to invest much in the early stages. Regardless of how muscular someone is.

[stillafool]

10 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

Turns out he was “testing” to see if i were to text him first. Kinda stupid imo, I shown interest already asking to call him.

Did you contact him after his "no show" and he said this to you?

[Versacehottie]

15 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He is very muscular and can get any woman lol. 

you think ^^^^^ this because you have low self-esteem and are acting desperate.  If you believe in yourself, you'd be fine whether or not this guy called. He isn't even a part of your life as of a few days ago and he BARELY is a part of it now (i would argue that he isn't at all but you seem to be really attached way too easily).

 

15 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

What am I supposed to do? Text him “how’s your day going” I rather not say anything to him, I do know if a man is interested they will text you. Clearly he has many options and I’m definitely not his first.

ummmm wait for his call? Live your life. Maybe no other women take him seriously because he acts like a joke and is flakey...who knows. You don't even believe you are good enough to converse with him like you've put him on such a pedestal---purely because you think he's hot. I can guarantee you some other women don't think he's hot and aren't interested in a personality like his. You are acting like he's the last roll of toilet paper in March of 2020!!!!

Not only this guy, but the vast majority of people want to date someone they consider their equal (or better, notice how you feel you need to be jumping through hoops for him). If you don't believe you are his equal--and ACT LIKE it--you have no chance. What do you think you have to offer other than the fact that you are single?

If he doesn't follow through, do NOT reach out. It's is then just a driveby and he probably meant nothing with his intentiions and was looking for an ego boost. In fact, his statement about girls just wanting to use him in a dating profile indicates that he is insecure--so you actually have that in common. The thing is he will most likely look for a trophy (trophy girl) as an outward extension of "his value", and you will keep throwing yourself at him, doing more trying to win him over (or same behavior with other guys)...which doesn't win them over.

 

[GoodVibess]

1 hour ago, Versacehottie said:

you think ^^^^^ this because you have low self-esteem and are acting desperate.  If you believe in yourself, you'd be fine whether or not this guy called. He isn't even a part of your life as of a few days ago and he BARELY is a part of it now (i would argue that he isn't at all but you seem to be really attached way too easily).

 

ummmm wait for his call? Live your life. Maybe no other women take him seriously because he acts like a joke and is flakey...who knows. You don't even believe you are good enough to converse with him like you've put him on such a pedestal---purely because you think he's hot. I can guarantee you some other women don't think he's hot and aren't interested in a personality like his. You are acting like he's the last roll of toilet paper in March of 2020!!!!

Not only this guy, but the vast majority of people want to date someone they consider their equal (or better, notice how you feel you need to be jumping through hoops for him). If you don't believe you are his equal--and ACT LIKE it--you have no chance. What do you think you have to offer other than the fact that you are single?

If he doesn't follow through, do NOT reach out. It's is then just a driveby and he probably meant nothing with his intentiions and was looking for an ego boost. In fact, his statement about girls just wanting to use him in a dating profile indicates that he is insecure--so you actually have that in common. The thing is he will most likely look for a trophy (trophy girl) as an outward extension of "his value", and you will keep throwing yourself at him, doing more trying to win him over (or same behavior with other guys)...which doesn't win them over.

 

We are texting again but he may end up ghosting me as he constantly says “text me” “text me” he said he doesn’t want to call because he’s not comfortable. 

[GoodVibess]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

Did you contact him after his "no show" and he said this to you?

No, he contacted me and said he’s not interested in calling me. And doesn’t want to break my heart.

[GoodVibess]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How did it "turn out" this way? It's disappointing but you dodged a bullet.

Try to review your screening and matching criteria. OLD is all about preventing burnout. So when you see red flags such as "a lot of women want to sleep with me", cut your losses early and move forward.

I don’t know he just told me he doesn’t really want to call me and he’s not fully interested since I don’t send him photos. He said my pics are great but he’s unsure if i’m worthy of him. Since he’s fit and i’m average, he said he could help me lose 10 lbs tho. 

Edited June 15, 2023 by GoodVibess

[GoodVibess]

16 hours ago, S2B said:

NO!

sit back and relax. Stay busy doing many other things so you aren’t so focused on what he does or doesn’t do.

iF he asks you out - go. If he is a time waster - cut him off as soon as it looks like it isn’t going anywhere.

but a busy guy not contacting for days isn’t unusual - just relax.

He said i’m pretty but not fit to his level he said he would be “more than happy” to help me lose weight as long as i spot him at the gym. That’s when I told him to back off and I know he has plenty of better options than to be wasting his time on an average woman. He said it’s not that way and he didn’t mean to offend me. He said to give him a chance because i seem like a nice girl. I don’t know what to do, i’m already on a diet before i met him. I did gain some weight but I don’t need his help. 

[Alpacalia]

Oh my goodness, this man is running you into the ground. He sounds scary. Please delete and block him.

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He said i’m pretty but not fit to his level he said he would be “more than happy” to help me lose weight as long as i spot him at the gym

What an ass he is.  You definitely dodged a bullet here.  You should have told him "Thanks,  but I'm trying to gain 10 pounds."

[GoodVibess]

1 minute ago, Alpacalia said:

Oh my goodness, this man is running you into the ground. He sounds scary. Please delete and block him.

I want to give him a chance but I don’t feel comfortable after he asked for my height and weight and photos. He’s still texting him I did mention “I won’t initiate any conversation with him, if he’s interested he will text me” he said “okay, i’ll make sure to text you”. I replied with “alright” and he asked “what are you up to”. 

[stillafool]

5 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

. I don’t know what to do, i’m already on a diet before i met him.

There's only one thing you should do and that is delete and block this creep.  I pray you're not going to try to date this jerk.

[GoodVibess]

Just now, stillafool said:

There's only one thing you should do and that is delete and block this creep.  I pray you're not going to try to date this jerk.

He was begging me for a chance I asked if I should leave him alone since i’m not fit like him. He said “I definitely want to get to know you, please give me a chance” I felt he was being serious about it. 

[stillafool]

4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He was begging me for a chance I asked if I should leave him alone since i’m not fit like him. He said “I definitely want to get to know you, please give me a chance” I felt he was being serious about it. 

He probably just wants to get laid.  I have a feeling if you mess around with this guy your self esteem will end up in the toilet.  He already thinks he's too good for you and isn't afraid to say it.

[Kassieee]

Run for the hills.

Edited June 15, 2023 by justaskingok

[Alpacalia]

33 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

I want to give him a chance but I don’t feel comfortable after he asked for my height and weight and photos. He’s still texting him I did mention “I won’t initiate any conversation with him, if he’s interested he will text me” he said “okay, i’ll make sure to text you”. I replied with “alright” and he asked “what are you up to”. 

He's a headcase. 

[Weezy1973]

30 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He was begging me for a chance I asked if I should leave him alone since i’m not fit like him. He said “I definitely want to get to know you, please give me a chance” I felt he was being serious about it. 

A man who’s begging for a chance, saying you’re not good enough for him, and also claims to have women lining up to date him. Hmmm. Catfish much? Don’t send pics. Block and delete.

[NuevoYorko]

Oh come on,  @GoodVibess.  This guy's a straight up clown.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

 he said he would be “more than happy” to help me lose weight 

Please delete and block him. He's a timewaster looking for a hookup. This is a typical PUA "neg". Cut your losses.

Get a good profile and recent pics on quality (paid) dating apps. You may find more serious daters. Screen for age, distance and other criteria. Set your matching criteria appropriately for what you want. There's no need to send extra pics or details on a quality app.

Start messaging and meeting local decent available men for a brief coffee. Save yourself a lot of frustration, headaches and heartaches by screening carefully and blocking clowns like this early on so you can navigate the dating apps with less wear and tear and burnout.

Edited June 15, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

We are texting again but he may end up ghosting me as he constantly says “text me” “text me” he said he doesn’t want to call because he’s not comfortable. 

This does not make any common sense....you are telling me a gorgeous guy who can get tons of girls is AFRAID to call you??? Um, no.  It's likely one of these things:

*he's not interested in you

*he's taken

*he's a catfish/using photos that are not him

*he's in it for the ego stroke and/or setting you up for sexting 

How are you "texting again"?  Did he reach out to you as promised or did you panic and reach out to him first? I think it's completely silly to go down this path where you have this insecurity and no reassurance at all. What is it that you hope to accomplish with him? I'm 99.9% sure this is going nowhere or worse.

Edited June 15, 2023 by Versacehottie

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

I have a feeling if you mess around with this guy your self esteem will end up in the toilet.  He already thinks he's too good for you and isn't afraid to say it.

This^^^^^1000%!!!! 

What's super problematic that the OP needs to look at is why does she think obtaining a date or whatever else with this person or a person like him will resolve her subpar self-esteem?  OP, you are not gonna date your way out of this!!! You need to address your self-esteem stuff with yourself not by finding a guy who will date you to make yourself feel better about yourself. 

If you need to lose weight and put effort towards it, you will get benefits from having efforted and accomplished something. You will feel more in control of your destiny. As well as probably, get some of the superficial benefits that come from being more in shape.  I think this is a good area to work on. And you need to work on the mental side too-- please you cannot go through life with self-esteem that is as far in the toilet as yours is. You've got to address it.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to get off dating apps and get straight into a therapist's office. 

 

[GoodVibess]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You need to get off dating apps and get straight into a therapist's office. 

 

What makes you think that lol

[GoodVibess]

2 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

This does not make any common sense....you are telling me a gorgeous guy who can get tons of girls is AFRAID to call you??? Um, no.  It's likely one of these things:

*he's not interested in you

*he's taken

*he's a catfish/using photos that are not him

*he's in it for the ego stroke and/or setting you up for sexting 

How are you "texting again"?  Did he reach out to you as promised or did you panic and reach out to him first? I think it's completely silly to go down this path where you have this insecurity and no reassurance at all. What is it that you hope to accomplish with him? I'm 99.9% sure this is going nowhere or worse.

I believe he is catfishing me honestly, his photos are screenshots. He won’t video call me.

[ExpatInItaly]

Just now, GoodVibess said:

What makes you think that lol

Just about every post you have made in this thread.

Your self-worth is in tatters and you are clearly very vulnerable to any jerky weirdo who wants to toy with you. 

[MsJayne]

On 6/15/2023 at 5:40 AM, GoodVibess said:

I didn’t think about it in that way, Im usually only able to talk at 9 or 10 as well because I live with parents and rather not talk when they’re awake. He said he works full time and goes to the gym a lot. 

Please trust me on this......any guy who is really interested in you will put aside ANY task to talk to you. Guys who just want a booty call will call you at 10pm - after the girl they took out for dinner has knocked back him back for sex.