Got broken up with then told they want to try in same sentence and want space. Now I've not heard anything for 3 days. What do I do!

[Moonlightstuff]

Hi everyone.

My partner (f34) and me (f32) have been together 7 months. We’ve had a tough time with a lot of things going on and moved in together way too fast and have been having a lot of arguments. We haven’t had much space from each other at all. 

Last Friday, she came over and cried and told me she wants to end it. I agreed, and we both came to the realisation that we wouldn’t be seeing each other anymore. I said I wouldn’t be friends because I need to cut the person out to heal and she panicked a bit. She said “maybe we should just take a break then” and I said ok, I can give you space if you want. we started talking over why we’d been having problems and figured we’d both not Had time apart 

We agreed that regardless I was going to move out of her place and back to mine, and that she’d bring my stuff over. We spoke about our issues for hours and seemed to really get somewhere.

I told her I would need full commitment and not someone who wasn’t interested and I’d try my hardest to work on my things but she wasn’t really keen to talk about her own issues, more like blame the failing on me. she Kept saying she didn’t think we were compatible right now and maybe in the future because of the stress we’re both going through. But she ended the conversation with that she still wanted to try and work things out 

We kissed so much and said we loved each other and She asked to sleep on it and that she needs time to think through everything we’ve talked about. I thought that meant one night but I haven’t heard from her yet and it’s Monday afternoon where I am.

My friends say this is ridiculous and she’s taking the piss with the amount of time she’s needing and clearly is just scared to come back and break up with me again because of how tough the last conversation was.

I am worried this is true and I’m just sitting around waiting to hear that again after being told other things. It feels like she’s avoiding me but space has been a massive issue for us in our relationship so I feel completely trapped in that I can’t text her because she’ll see it almost a decision in itself that she should end things because I’m not giving her space

However I’m feeling really ill with this. I’m not eating or sleeping and feel sick, I almost want it to be over so I can try and heal. I’m so confused because it seemed to positive with our last conversation. Why is she now ignoring me for three days?

Do you really need that much time to think it over? Is she really just not sure what to do? Or is it already over and she’s stalling the breakup conversation? I’m not sure wether to send a text myself and ask what’s going on. Is there any chance at all she might be wanting to still work through things or am I being an idiot 

I feel like it’s so unfair and I’m waiting around to hear back. We also have each others belongings so I know we have to sort that out as well and right now I’m in limbo just waiting to hear what’s going on.

I’m trying so hard to see my friends constantly and get my mind off it but most of them just don’t understand why she’s doing this and why I’m accepting it. Some of them say I should ask her outright or just end it myself. What do I do?

[JTSW]

Why don't you make the decision then for it to be done.

You don't have to wait around for her. 

She has messed you around enough.

Take the lead. Pack up all her belongings and take it her parents or something.

Send her text about where her stuff is and wish her all the best.

Then block her number.

Edited June 26, 2023 by JTSW

[Wiseman2]

47 minutes ago, Moonlightstuff said:

 moved in together way too fast and have been having a lot of arguments. We haven’t had much space from each other at all. 

Sorry this is happening. This is a lot of turmoil for 28 weeks dating. Definitely too much too soon. 

Where do you live now? Did you actually move in with her or just camp out there 24/7? 

It seems like staying at her place too much was where it went sideways. What were all the arguments about?.

Try to focus on the logistics of severing ties and getting your belongings back. "Space" and "breaks" are breakups. Moving out is the end of a relationship, not a variation of it.

You're not really in limbo. You can contact her to arrange getting your belongings, so you can move forward.

[mtnbiker3000]

Do you like being a doormat? You can only control one person in life. So, take control and make your own decision rather than waiting on someone else to maybe want to be with you. This situation will only repeat and repeat at your expense. Is it worth it?