How would you personally feel if you found out your parent was having a fling with someone their kids age?

[Sony12]

How would you personally feel about a situation like that? I have often dated women older than me but rarely has it ever been a situation where she actually had kids my age or a little older. On one occasion when I was in my twenties a lady in her mid fifties and I had oral sex a couple of times and she had kids a couple years older than me but outside of that I have generally been about five to ten years older than most of the woman's kids (most women don't like getting involved with guys their kids ages).

I have met up with a lady though recently a couple of times and yesterday evening we did hang out at her place and had sex. Had a real fun time and we plan on doing it again here within the next couple of days. It's not anything serious at all and we are just having fun but she does have kids who are my age (one older and another one a few years younger than myself). 

She has no intention of telling her kids about it at this point but how would you personally feel if you found out a parent was having sex with someone your age? Is it something you wouldn't care about or is it something that would bother you?

[ShyViolet]

It's not like you are having a real relationship with the woman, this sounds like just a short lived fling... so I don't see why you are worrying what her kids would think.  Their opinion is irrelevant and also it sounds like they will never know about it anyway.

[Sony12]

21 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

It's not like you are having a real relationship with the woman, this sounds like just a short lived fling... so I don't see why you are worrying what her kids would think.  Their opinion is irrelevant and also it sounds like they will never know about it anyway.

Oh I'm not worried about what her kids would think at all. Who she chooses to have fun with is no one's business but hers and the guy involved. I'm just curious what people's opinion would be on the matter if they found out a parent was involved in something like that. I don't have to face anything like that as my parents have been happily married for 50 plus years.

Edited July 1, 2023 by Sony12

[Weezy1973]

I wouldn’t care who my mom has a fling with. But if she’s serious and wanted to marry a guy that much younger, I’d probably have a conversation with her. There’s a big difference. 

[Sony12]

32 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

I wouldn’t care who my mom has a fling with. But if she’s serious and wanted to marry a guy that much younger, I’d probably have a conversation with her. There’s a big difference. 

That's true. And for situations where the parent figure is just looking for a good time in the bedroom it would only be that big of deal to many kids if the younger person was a friend of theirs.

[Els]

They are their own individual and their sex life isn't any of my business.

Now, if they were to actually marry the person, then it would become my business. And honestly I think I would have difficulty respecting either one of them if it comes down to that (although I would try to keep things civil).

[Alpacalia]

What concerns you about her adult children's opinion? Ultimately, it's up to both of you to decide how much you want to share. As long as your relationship is consensual and healthy.

Keep in mind that it's natural for adult children to have an opinion and to be protective of their parent.

[MsJayne]

It would depend on the situation. If my parent was well off and the fling partner wasn't I'd view it with suspicion, but if there was no financial reason why a younger person was interested in my parent I couldn't care less, though I would very likely make lots of inappropriate jokes about it.  

[Sony12]

38 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

It would depend on the situation. If my parent was well off and the fling partner wasn't I'd view it with suspicion, but if there was no financial reason why a younger person was interested in my parent I couldn't care less, though I would very likely make lots of inappropriate jokes about it.  

Lol. Nothing risque evvvvveeeeerrrrrrrr happens in those age gap relations.

[glows]

From prev experience (he had a daughter my age at the time) I wasn’t comfortable with it and neither was he. It fizzled out after a few years. We had a lot of mutual respect for one another.

I can’t say how I’d feel if it were my parent as it’s never happened. I would have considered what they’ve been through and overall happiness.

 

Edited July 2, 2023 by glows

[Wiseman2]

I would actually rather not know.🙈 However if it did come out, probably would ascribe it to midlife crisis.

[Esteban]

An interesting question is to compare these two cases.

A: 50 year old with no children having sex with a 25 year old.

B: 50 year old (who has a 30-year old child that they don´t live with) having sex with a 25 year old.

Is B really any worse than A? In practice society would probably judge it a bit differently, but is that really fair if you compare the two cases so explicitly? For many people B feels intuitively worse, but if you asked people to give a clear reason why B is worse than A I don´t think most people could.

[Sony12]

2 hours ago, Esteban said:

An interesting question is to compare these two cases.

A: 50 year old with no children having sex with a 25 year old.

B: 50 year old (who has a 30-year old child that they don´t live with) having sex with a 25 year old.

Is B really any worse than A? In practice society would probably judge it a bit differently, but is that really fair if you compare the two cases so explicitly? For many people B feels intuitively worse, but if you asked people to give a clear reason why B is worse than A I don´t think most people could.

I can't speak for older men (as I don't talk to them and none of my friends in real life are involved with significantly younger women) but for most women it definitely can be an issue that is difficult for them to get out of their mind. 

Women that have kids often develop a block that makes them feel a little icky at the idea of physically getting involved with someone their kids age. They still are often attracted to younger men but once they start getting around the age of their children that block starts kicking in. Now of course some are able to separate the two and are able to view a guy their kids age as strictly an attractive potential sexual partner. But from my experience it is far more common for that block to be there and it is difficult for them to think about bedding that young hot guy without their kids entering into their mind.

As I said they still often find younger men very appealing but if say a 50 year old lady has a 30 year old kid many of them will put a cut off mark at about 35 to 37 or so. They still will be attracted to men their kids age but it would be real difficult for them to separate giving a bj to a hot 30 year old without the thoughts of 'this person would be one of my kids friends' running through their mind.

[Esteban]

makes sense, thanks for your viewpoint