Fwb relationship ended

[Ric123]

2 hours ago, glows said:

What drama here did you cause? Yes, it certainly does sound like you made yourself a nuisance. This worked until it didn’t work anymore. 

The bottomline is she doesn’t see you as dating or boyfriend material. Stop holding out for her and move on with your life. Block her and delete from any social media.

It’s doubtful she ever saw anything in you. She treated you like an fwb from beginning to the end and yes fwbs do meet multiple times a week until they meet someone else or get sick of each other which it seems she got of you. Sadly there was nothing to indicate she had any interest beyond fwb.

drama? 3 days before she left me I called her twice she didn't pick up and replied with a msg saying she was gonna go shopping and didn't want to talk now. I said ok. In the evening I called 3 times no reply. She then sent me many msgs angry why I was blowing up her phone blablabl..she was cold already and pulling back and this was the last dropper her I feel. Next day she sent me a long text saying I want this more than here and its starting to be a problem because she has her family friends and needs her own time alone too and having to meet me every week twice a week was starting to stress her out. 2 days later she called me to end things.

She wanted something casual I guess and I started to be too much and she ended it. But who knows..3 weeks earlier she said she dint have feelings for me only liked the sex and my company and she couldnt keep this fwb forever if she knew I wasn't the one for her

Edited July 3, 2023 by Ric123

[Esteban]

what do we think of this theory (I'd give it 30% or 50% chance)

she is lying about never having been in a serious relationship

she has a boyfriend/husband that she lives with

no sleep overs = so that she doesn't have to explain to her boyfriend/husband why she isn't back home at night

no hanging outside = so that her boyfriend/husband or others that know her don't see her in the street with you and figure out she's cheating

too many messages = too much risk of her boyfriend/husband finding out

Ways to test this theory

Have you ever been to her house? If my theory is true, perhaps you've never been there. Did she tell you her address? Or only a rough idea of where she lives?

Are you connected to her on social media? If not, is this because this was never raised (just more common not to do it these days perhaps) or because she said no when you suggested it?

Then again, the number of messages you exchanged was clearly way high. It could indeed be nothing more than that.

[Ric123]

3 minutes ago, Esteban said:

what do we think of this theory (I'd give it 30% or 50% chance)

she is lying about never having been in a serious relationship

she has a boyfriend/husband that she lives with

no sleep overs = so that she doesn't have to explain to her boyfriend/husband why she isn't back home at night

no hanging outside = so that her boyfriend/husband or others that know her don't see her in the street with you and figure out she's cheating

too many messages = too much risk of her boyfriend/husband finding out

Ways to test this theory

Have you ever been to her house? If my theory is true, perhaps you've never been there. Did she tell you her address? Or only a rough idea of where she lives?

Are you connected to her on social media? If not, is this because this was never raised (just more common not to do it these days perhaps) or because she said no when you suggested it?

Then again, the number of messages you exchanged was clearly way high. It could indeed be nothing more than that.

I was at her place all the time. thats not it. I think too much chasing on my part plus commitment issues from her part. Sucks nothing more I can do. im in no contact

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Ric123 said:

I was at her place all the time. 

For a FWB (or even dating) this is waaaay too much.  Combine that with repeated texts and calls when she didn't answer straight away, I can understand her not wanting to continue.  

If you're to sustain a relationship, you need to learn to be more chill

[Ric123]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

For a FWB (or even dating) this is waaaay too much.  Combine that with repeated texts and calls when she didn't answer straight away, I can understand her not wanting to continue.  

If you're to sustain a relationship, you need to learn to be more chill

I may have exaggerated, I was at her place twice a week sometimes once only for few hours, like 5pm to 10pm

[basil67]

18 minutes ago, Ric123 said:

I may have exaggerated. I was at her place twice a week sometimes once only for few hours, like 5pm to 10pm

This kind of exaggeration would likely also be an issue.   I feel like you might have been really intense to be around

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, Ric123 said:

 I was at her place twice a week sometimes once only for few hours, like 5pm to 10pm

That's ok that's what FWB is. However she's ended it so your only option is to move on. Were you ever in a relationship before? Unfortunately you seem a bit inexperienced when it comes to understanding women and dating.

Edited July 3, 2023 by Wiseman2

[glows]

3 hours ago, Ric123 said:

drama? 3 days before she left me I called her twice she didn't pick up and replied with a msg saying she was gonna go shopping and didn't want to talk now. I said ok. In the evening I called 3 times no reply. She then sent me many msgs angry why I was blowing up her phone blablabl..she was cold already and pulling back and this was the last dropper her I feel. Next day she sent me a long text saying I want this more than here and its starting to be a problem because she has her family friends and needs her own time alone too and having to meet me every week twice a week was starting to stress her out. 2 days later she called me to end things.

She wanted something casual I guess and I started to be too much and she ended it. But who knows..3 weeks earlier she said she dint have feelings for me only liked the sex and my company and she couldnt keep this fwb forever if she knew I wasn't the one for her

This seems very anxious overall. I don’t think I’d call it drama. Texting and blowing up someone’s phone, multiple calls etc. It’s someone who is experiencing extreme or high anxiety, probably triggered by an unstable situation. You knew going into this it was fwb only and you seem content with just fwb but you’re not recognizing that you can’t actually handle it or recognize when a situation isn’t mutually agreeable. When she started pulling back it triggered you and started the texting and calling. 

I sincerely hope you’re recognizing this if you do experience anxiety and unable to control your reactions. 

It’s a problem because you haven’t said you’ve blocked her or are accepting that there’s nothing here. 

[Esteban]

Apologies for my wrong theory. [ ]  It seems to me you're already processing this better than a couple of days ago if we compare your recent comments with ones from earlier.

Edited July 3, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
commentary about other posters

[Ric123]

5 hours ago, basil67 said:

This kind of exaggeration would likely also be an issue.   I feel like you might have been really intense to be around

Thats not the issue, come on now lol...we met twice a week few hours, even if I was doing cartwheels at her house she wouldn't get bored. She didn't have feelings for me and she stated it, after a while when the honeymoon dies if there's no feelings people start to pull back, get annoyed at your little mistakes etc. She said she didn't have feelings and told her mother about us and didn't know yet what she wanted from this. She was on her way out already. then of course when I started chasing more and calling more she ended it.She did to me what she did to the rest of 100 guys she had. She has this thing she needs her own time and space all the time and has moments she needs to be alone, im sure she fears connection and has attachment issues. 100 plus men in her life and not a single relationship?

Edited July 4, 2023 by Ric123

[Ric123]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's ok that's what FWB is. However she's ended it so your only option is to move on. Were you ever in a relationship before? Unfortunately you seem a bit inexperienced when it comes to understanding women and dating.

I have 5 year relationship, 7 years, 2 years relationship and 7 months and now 3 months.

Looking back by the time which was our second date, when she said we cant go outside that she needs tome to warm up, I should have vanished, im nobodies walking dildo.  She just led me on saying in time we will be together and sleep overs an going outside together etc but she was just buying time to have her fun and then dump me

Edited July 4, 2023 by Ric123

[Sony12]

Ric you have been obsessing about this situation for awhile now and to be honest probably a little longer than you should for a girl that you were never even in a relationship with.

I think it's time you start focusing on talking to other women instead of continuing to dwell on what happened with this girl. After all the best way to get over a short term dating situation that didn't work out is to set up dates with someone new. 

Are you a member to any dating site? If not you might want to join one. They don't work real well for everyone but for those that do get a good amount of attention on them they can immediately set up a date with a new person. It's a good way to forget about people that should be forgotten about.