Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 me and Jacob were friends in school he starts fights and wont stop I have been blocking him. I am sad and hurt. He is acting like my ex boyfriend. But I dont have a boyfriend I am sad and hurt that Jacob refuses to stop starting fights like my boyfriend had done to me. I am starting to be scared of men. I should not have to be scared of men. There are some people who are mean. That is what men do be mean to a women and dont treat them right. I am straight and I have had enough of men being mean to me.
glows Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 Can you give examples of what these fights are about? What is an example of him being mean? How old are both of you?
Author Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Author Posted July 3, 2023 we are both 38 today when I texted Jacob he was like now you know why I took my time to text you. And I said stop being mean to me jacob he was like well yesterday you watched trump and saw my text and did not text me I said no I did not see your text at all until after. And I did not mean to not text you back.
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 6 minutes ago, Strebe said: I have been blocking him. I am sad and hurt. He is acting like my ex boyfriend. How do you know him? Do you still go to school together? If he is harassing you, please talk to a trusted adult teacher or relative. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps Permanently.
Author Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Author Posted July 3, 2023 we went to school together he use to be nice to me but when him and his wife broke up he kind of blamed me. I am a nice person but people dont want to be nice to me. And when I demand them to be nice they dont do that.
glows Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 You don’t have to demand anyone be nice to you. Nice people will be nice on their own without asking. And the not so nice people will take advantage of that. You’re just opening up yourself here to being hurt around rude or abusive individuals. Be more street smart please. Don’t keep engaging. Just avoid people who aren’t respectful in the same way. He’s someone you knew in school and you’re both almost 40. People change.
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 4 minutes ago, Strebe said: we went to school together he use to be nice to me but when him and his wife broke up he kind of blamed me He doesn't seem like a good friend anymore. Do you work? Do you live with parents? It seems you grew apart. Join some groups and clubs volunteer get involved in sports and fitness take some classes and courses and broaden your social horizons. You'll meet people and make new friends with similar interests. Also get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. Try to fill up your life with more positive people.
Author Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Author Posted July 3, 2023 Well I have been abused by a boyfriend befor. But me and jacob were only friends
Author Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Author Posted July 3, 2023 that is how I got abused men. I will not use dating apps no more
glows Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 Why do you keep calling this person a friend when he clearly disrespects you and appears to resent you due to his divorce? He doesn’t sound like a friend. Has he ever acted like a friend? Or been supportive and understanding? Has he anything insightful to say or do you feel delighted in his company? According to your first post you’re “sad and hurt” and blocking this so called friend. I’m curious why he would blame you for his divorce? Did you engage too much with him or was the friendship inappropriate or could have been construed as an affair? 1
Author Strebe Posted July 3, 2023 Author Posted July 3, 2023 (edited) no I did not he abandon my friendship when he got married then one day I found him on dating website he would gripe about no one wanting him. And I tried to tell him I wanted him. But he would not accept that. Edited July 3, 2023 by Strebe
basil67 Posted July 3, 2023 Posted July 3, 2023 14 minutes ago, Strebe said: no I did not he abandon my friendship when he got married then one day I found him on dating website he would gripe about no one wanting him. And I tried to tell him I wanted him. But he would not accept that. So you offered yourself for an affair with him? Did this somehow lead to his divorce? 1
Author Strebe Posted July 4, 2023 Author Posted July 4, 2023 I dont cheat if I am dating and me and jacob were not dating. no he was already devorice from his wife. I wanted him happy and not sad and angry
Wiseman2 Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 45 minutes ago, Strebe said: I found him on dating website he would gripe about no one wanting him. And I tried to tell him I wanted him. It's best to keep boundaries with friends. If he's struggled with his divorce, it's not your job to fix that. Did you ask him out?
Author Strebe Posted July 4, 2023 Author Posted July 4, 2023 I am having trusting people. I use to not be scared of men now its like I dont know what to do. I dont want to get hurt or be threated or yelled at
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 4 hours ago, Strebe said: I dont want to get hurt or be threated or yelled at Then you need to cut contact with men who do this. You don't deserve to be mistreated. However, it's your responsibility to enforce those boundaries for yourself instead of letting it continue and hoping these people will treat you better. They won't. Block this guy. 1
glows Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 6 hours ago, Strebe said: no I did not he abandon my friendship when he got married then one day I found him on dating website he would gripe about no one wanting him. And I tried to tell him I wanted him. But he would not accept that. Sorry what? Wanted him sexually and romantically? Did you say this to boost his confidence but not mean it or ? I’m not surprised if he wasn’t impressed or disliked that. Have you ever had feelings for this man or is it totally platonic? Either way, you’re not getting along. The whole point of friendship is to get along with someone and have a good time. This is not working out. Do you have other friends or interests/hobbies?
JTSW Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 Have you considered therapy? You have some very deep insecurities and fears when it comes to men. Therapy may help you realise that you need to cut Jacob out of your life once and for all. He's toxic/abusive, and he's definitely not a friend. You need to find your shiny spine and learn to stand up for yourself. People treat you like crap because you allow it.
Author Strebe Posted July 4, 2023 Author Posted July 4, 2023 I realized it yesterday I will stand up for my self from now on other people can stand up for me also
glows Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 18 minutes ago, Strebe said: I realized it yesterday I will stand up for my self from now on other people can stand up for me also Reality check here - most people don’t care. They are too wrapped up in their own issues. Take care of yourself and don’t give a damn what others are doing. Stay healthy and safe and away from abusers or people who disrespect you. 1
Author Strebe Posted July 4, 2023 Author Posted July 4, 2023 I feel like I should not care about anyone but that wont help me
glows Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 19 minutes ago, Strebe said: I feel like I should not care about anyone but that wont help me Maybe care about yourself first before caring for others. If you’ve been in an abusive cycle for the last long while you’re not caring for yourself enough.
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted July 4, 2023 Posted July 4, 2023 (edited) He is a control freak who probably has feelings for you. Boyfriend or Not or even an Ex------He has no right to treat you like this. Talk to him or tell him he will be Blocked from your life forever. But guys like Him won't stop but grow worse. Remind him too he is Only a Friend! Edited July 4, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23
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