Daughter giving me ultimatum

[problemswithdaughter]

My adult daughter has given me an ultimatum that if I 'm with my bf who she dislikes she won't have a relationship with me.  I was considering breaking if off with him recently b/c I did she some selfish trends (which is what she didn't like about him) but he is committed to improving and so far, it seems he is achieving that and making me happy.

She complains that I can't be alone and I'm settling.

I've told her I need to run my own life but she is persistent.

I'm very sad about this but he is ready to take me on a 10 day trip and unbeknownst to her, I need to have a biopsy when I return b/c the radiologist found a suspicious nodule. I just want to go away and enjoy my birthday (it's also the same month as my daughter's bday and my bf too).

What do I do to get this resolved?

 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, problemswithdaughter said:

My adult daughter has given me an ultimatum that if I 'm with my bf who she dislikes she won't have a relationship with me.  

Is this the man you complain about being cheap and who wants you to pay half his rent to visit weekends? Is this the same man?:

 

Edited July 4, 2023 by Wiseman2

[ShyViolet]

the hydra strikes again

[central]

Your children can give advice or express concern, but it is up to you whether it is worth acting on. However, an ultimatum like this is Completely Unacceptable and manipulative. Let your daughter be a jerk if she wishes, and live your life. You may still dump this guy if he turns out to have issues, but that has nothing to do with your daughter's disrespect.

[Lisa]

Sorry folks.  It's the hydra