When friends ask for 'favors' getting them a job? Not a good idea?

[Chloeflowers]

Makes me think of of my first job when i became close friends with someone and she ended up getting promoted, etc etc. I was kinda resentful and pissed. Then when i was getting trained in something new she was questioning me as to why. The whole friends at work thing is bothersome. 

[MicheleT]

20 hours ago, MicheleT said:

I have a friend like that, who would think of all her friends as evil witches who try to take advantage of her and think of herself as a martyr.  She’s later diagnosed with a severe mental health condition.  The worse part of her condition has been more or less under control by meds, but she still has a bunch of stuff that comes with her condition that can’t be controlled by meds.  Sometimes it’s difficult to tell how much of her personality is due to her condition.  But we as her friends do try to be very accommodating, despite her being quite unpleasant to be around sometimes😔

I used to reason with this friend, but it would go in a circle.  It took me years to realize it’s her mental health condition talking.

[NuevoYorko]

57 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Makes me think of of my first job when i became close friends with someone and she ended up getting promoted, etc etc. I was kinda resentful and pissed. Then when i was getting trained in something new she was questioning me as to why. The whole friends at work thing is bothersome. 

Excuse me for saying this, but I think it might be useful for you to think about:

I believe every post you've made here is about some beef you have with a person at your job.  People who you barely interact with.

You seem profoundly interested in really nurturing these grudges you are manufacturing.

Why? 

My idea is that it's how you have interpersonal relationships in your life, 

Why not try to do a couple of things differently?  One, just be a friendly co-worker and stop getting into this negative loop about people you barely know.   You don't have to share any part of your life with any of them outside of encounters in the workplace.  The other:  Get a hobby or take a class.  Be around other people and practice interacting with them in a positive way.  The time will be confined - no need to see them 40 hours a week like at work.  Maybe you can develop some connections that are not based on indulging in paranoid, negative feelings about former or current coworkers.

[BrinnM]

What @NuevoYorkosaid 👆🏼

 

Just.be.kind…….nobody’s after you. Normal people are too busy with their own lives to interfere maliciously with coworkers, family and friends. 
And as to why she chose your workplace: it’s normal to apply where you know somebody; it’s normal to ask about an employer if you know somebody who works there, especially a friend 

I feel like you’re really high-strung & anxious. I worked with somebody like that before. Not fun! She constantly had a chip on her shoulder, and unfortunately she was in HR, which means lots of interactions with people. Not her forte for sure! Don’t be her!

[BrinnM]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

Makes me think of of my first job when i became close friends with someone and she ended up getting promoted, etc etc. I was kinda resentful and pissed. Then when i was getting trained in something new she was questioning me as to why. The whole friends at work thing is bothersome. 

I don’t see anything wrong with this scenario. People you’re friends with get promoted all the time, and people you’re friends with take an interest in you, therefore they ask you questions. Again: That’s not a bad thing!!! Jesus.

[Alpacalia]

Chloe life is so short to be bogged down with workplace politics. At the end of the day, you have a job to do and you need to put your head down and do it, regardless of who might be getting promoted or whatnot.

Their successes don’t take away from yours and you have just as much potential and talent as they do. If you find yourself feeling resentful or jealous, try to focus on how you can use their successes to motivate your own growth. A good friend will understand and be willing to help you in any way they can.