derekj513 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I was really good friends with this girl and we went on little dates and made out. We messed around a little bit but nothing serious because she has HPV. But we had a blast together and I really cared for her as a friend, actually more than a friend and the was mutual. But due to various issues and circumstances, it would've never worked. And for this reason, I had no problem with us seeing other people. But I found out she gave someone head. She didn't know that I knew and about a day or two later she was trying to pur her tongue down my throat and kiss me. I don't think a real friend would do that. I cared so much for her and she did that to me. Even my guy friends would tell me not to drink after them if they just performed oral on their girlfriend(Is this analogy way off base?). I felt way uncomfortable talking to her about it...I mean what do you say without making it sound like you're calling her a whore? Instead I just told her we need to no longer makeout or be intimate with each other. She didn't understand..I felt so bad for not giving her the real reason. I stayed quiet about it for a week or two, but I did have an attitude. Well she told a friend of mine that I was being mean because she didn't want to go out with me. This is complete bull, I was the one that told her things had to stop. Well I told everyone the truth that she sucked some dude she just met off then kissed me. She called it blatant lies but I know for a fact it's true. I also let it slip that she has HPV. This stuff is no one else business, and I regret telling it. But why did she go and tell people she was the one who "ended it"? I was being quiet about it keeping our personal lives between us. Her ego is what made her lose her dignity. The sad part is...I really love her. As a friend and more. I'm so so sorry for what I did. All she had to do was let me get over being angry so we could talk about it and transition into "just friends". But she had to flap her mouth. I don't understand where the ego came from, why she felt the need to tell people she "dumped me"(if you can call it that). Then my male ego came in like wtf!? "That's not what happened!". I guess she felt the need to make up a reason why I was not being nice to her. Well now everyone knows why. I really cared, I swear. But egos ruined it. Foolish pride. I should've just let people believe her lies that I was the oned who go "dumped". I'm dying inside. I miss my friend more than I miss the fooling around. I really believed once I got over her kissing me so soon after that, I could accept it as a friend's transgression against me and go on as friends. Notice I never mentioned jealousy, it's not about that. It's about respect. I don't want to taste some guys nut(no speaking literally). I've eaten girls out then went over her place and not once did I kiss her. I could even see if I initiated the kissing and she felt like she needed to kiss back. BUT NO! She initiated it and tried to put her effing tongue in my mouth then got all upset when I turned the other cheek! I'm sorry to ramble. I know there's no excuse for what I did...I'm sorry for it. I've told her I'm sorry. I guess I'll never get my apology from her.. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 People see the dumper as the stronger person, and not the weak, pathetic, rejected loser. Thats why you both want to be seen as the one who did the dumping. You should have been honest with her as to why you didn't want to kiss her. What the problem anyway, she only gave someone head, and wasnt your GF. You are being vindictive and jealous because you aren't getting what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 But I found out she gave someone head. She didn't know that I knew and about a day or two later she was trying to pur her tongue down my throat and kiss me. I can see being upset if she blew someone and then kissed you an hour later with cum still in her mouth, but I'm not sure why you have a problem kissing a girl a day or two after she gives a blowjob. Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 Are you planning to date only virgins in the future? If not, most likely any girl you date will have given another guy a blowjob at some point. :confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Author derekj513 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 I see what you all are saying, and I have no illusions of her or any female being innocent. I know I was in the wrong. I know every female has most likely sucked a d*ck before. I just hate that it was within a day of when she kissed me. The thought disgusts me. And I'm not sure if I said this before, but she didn't even know the guy. She met him at a BW3's and went home with him. It did hurt my feelings. I thought she was better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 People don't seem to realize often enough that you can get STDs from oral... what is more is that you can get them in your mouth and throat, ewww.... so the real issue is whether or not they did it safely.... yah, oral is lower risk for STDs than intercourse so I understand not being as obsessive about using protection... but with someone you don't know you should always use a condom!!! I always get soooooo mad when people laugh about using condoms for oral.... it is a serious matter if you are going to go around sucking random dick! However.... it doesn't even seem like your issue is that you are afraid he had an STD (which it should be)... it sounds like you are just wierded out by some thought of some phantom essence of him being in her mouth.... It had been several days??? I doubut he was still in her mouth... but yeah, if you are going to have an open relationship don't just brush off protection for oral sex as being not very important! Link to post Share on other sites
Author derekj513 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 The thought of an STD also concerned me as well. I can't believe I didn't just realize the kind of person she was whe she told me she had hpv. Instead I believed the crap about how you could get it from anyone, and not know who it was because it doesn't show in guys. Sleeping with many people would obviously increase the likelihood of her coming into contact with an infected person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author derekj513 Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 People see the dumper as the stronger person, and not the weak, pathetic, rejected loser. Thats why you both want to be seen as the one who did the dumping. You should have been honest with her as to why you didn't want to kiss her. What the problem anyway, she only gave someone head, and wasnt your GF. You are being vindictive and jealous because you aren't getting what you want. Nobody knew anthing was wrong. I didn't tell anyone we weren't talking. It was a private matter...Until she started telling people she "dumped" even though we weren't going out. Nobody knew anything was wrong because I sure as hell wasn't talking. But she chose to speak out, and not even tell the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Her ego is what made her lose her dignity. She's not the only one. Unless you guys had an agreement to be exclusive, I really don't see what you have to be upset about. Like LB said, unless she kissed you right after blowing some dude than what's the big deal? I don't think it's the kiss after giving head that bugs you, I think it's the giving head itself. You also need to knock off the looking down on her as not being "better than that". You said yourself you've eaten out other girls. Are you in high school? Just curious because you sound a little young. Link to post Share on other sites
Alwaysunsure Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 The thought of an STD also concerned me as well. I can't believe I didn't just realize the kind of person she was whe she told me she had hpv. Instead I believed the crap about how you could get it from anyone, and not know who it was because it doesn't show in guys. Sleeping with many people would obviously increase the likelihood of her coming into contact with an infected person. Just so you know, she was being honest with you when she said she doesn't know who gave her hpv. HPV can be dormant in your body and you can still pass it to someone. Also, hpv is the only std that you can get even if you always use a condom. It is passed through skin to skin contact, not through body fluids. It is an extremely common std. People can also carry it, and never know they have it, therefore not realizing they are passing it to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author derekj513 Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Oh, I believe her when she says she doesn't know where she caught it. Like those ladies on Maury who have to test like 10 guys for paternity. Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Oh, I believe her when she says she doesn't know where she caught it. Like those ladies on Maury who have to test like 10 guys for paternity. Er...this would be that foolish ego/pride talking again, right? Okay, I'm trying to understand the problem here, but I can only see one reason why you might be legitimately bothered: jealousy. You guys were not together. She's giving blowjobs, you're eating girls out. Whatever. But she didn't give someone a blowjob and then just jump you right away: A day or two went by. I'm sure she brushed her teeth in that time, and likely had a glass or two of water. Come on. How much time went by between when you "ate another girl out" and were later kissing her? A few days? What's the statute of limitations on that? It's all very arbitrary - unless it's about simple jealousy. Notice I never mentioned jealousy, it's not about that. It's about respect. And I'm not sure if I said this before, but she didn't even know the guy. She met him at a BW3's and went home with him. It did hurt my feelings. I thought she was better than that. I think this is the heart of it. It sounds like it is about jealousy. And because you were jealous, you were far crueller to her than she was to you: You told the world that she has an STD and you also told them this: Well I told everyone the truth that she sucked some dude she just met off then kissed me. I sure hope this isn't how you said it. I hope you told them the actual "truth" - that she didn't lift her head up and kiss you right then and there. I really love her. As a friend and more. This is not apparent from your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
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