Bill splitting

[Alpacalia]

I am just about to finish a trip to Key West, Florida with some friends.

My one friend opted to drive from Miami to Key West the entire trip and back. It's about 4 hours each way. They paid for the car rental, I put the hotel on my credit card.

The hotel cost much more but I was thinking about not asking to be reimbursed for the hotel cost as a thank you for them driving to and from Key West.

It's about $200 more that I would pick up the cost for. Does that seem like a reasonable amount for them driving?

[NuevoYorko]

This friend rented the car and did all the driving?  What about fuel?

Is it only you and this one other friend, or are there others involved in the travel and accommodations? 

[Alpacalia]

9 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

This friend rented the car and did all the driving?  What about fuel?

Is it only you and this one other friend, or are there others involved in the travel and accommodations? 

Yes, I drove down with my friend and she did all the driving. She paid for the car rental and fuel.

The other friends met us there.

I paid for the hotel room on my credit card for me and my female friend that I drove down with.

The hotel is about $200 more than the cost of the car rental, fuel, etc., for her share of hotel. That's after I'd deduct my share of the car rental and gas.

I feel like I should just absorb the extra cost (the $200 for her hotel room) since she did all the driving (as a thank you). But I'm wondering if I should also buy her dinner too or something.

Edited July 5, 2023 by Alpacalia

[FMW]

I don't think you need to do anything in addition to absorbing the extra cost.  She may have driven because that was her preference, I know several people who would happily make that choice.  My first thought was that she got the better deal.  

[NuevoYorko]

I agree that she got a good deal, you're generous and you don't "owe" anything further.

[Lotsgoingon]

No, for me your offer is far too generous and I would feel used. But look, I have a history of not speaking up, so I now make sure to speak up.

 I've never heard of one person on a trip paying the rental and the the hotel with some expectation that those expenses would be almost the same. Never heard of that.  You get dinner. I get lunch. OK, even if dinner is more expensive. But $200 more you're putting in? No, I would not like that.

On trips, it's typical for the passenger to split gas and tolls, but I've never heard of paying someone to drive when I'm the passenger.  By picking the hotel bill you are essentially paying the person for driving. I have some elderly friends who do sometimes hire drivers to take them out of town when they don't feel up to driving. But two friends hanging out. Never the expectation that the driver gets paid. 

[glows]

$200 is a very small amount for a multi day trip and hardly covers a couple of fill ups for gas. As a group it’s common courtesy to chip in for gas so after all is said and done I think we’re talking about dollars and pennies. Really does not make sense to bring it up. 

If you do happen to travel with them again then work out the total cost of the trip in advance and suggest to split it evenly. This will eliminate the unequal amounts or worries that one person appears to be paying more. They’re your friends. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you see a better way to do things in future.

[MsJayne]

I think you've already paid more than your share, so I wouldn't offer anything extra, except just saying thank you for driving, (which you probably already have). If anything I would kind of expect the friend to ask if she owes you anything for the accommodation and then you would say, "No, don't worry, you drove all the way." If it was me I think I'd want the other person to be aware that I'd shown my appreciation. 

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

No, for me your offer is far too generous and I would feel used. But look, I have a history of not speaking up, so I now make sure to speak up.

 I've never heard of one person on a trip paying the rental and the the hotel with some expectation that those expenses would be almost the same. Never heard of that.  You get dinner. I get lunch. OK, even if dinner is more expensive. But $200 more you're putting in? No, I would not like that.

On trips, it's typical for the passenger to split gas and tolls, but I've never heard of paying someone to drive when I'm the passenger.  By picking the hotel bill you are essentially paying the person for driving. I have some elderly friends who do sometimes hire drivers to take them out of town when they don't feel up to driving. But two friends hanging out. Never the expectation that the driver gets paid. 

I put the hotel on my credit card because I made the reservation and she put the car rental on her credit card because she did the driving.

I just didn't ask for the extra $200 because I felt a 4-5 hour drive both ways was a lot for her. 

I don't feel used at all. The drive is mostly bridges and I dislike bridges so she offered to drive because she knows I am uncomfortable driving on them.

I just wanted to make sure it was fair on my account because I felt doing all that driving was a lot for her.

[Lotsgoingon]

So great! This does feel good to you, feels fair to you.

That's the only important point, the only relevant point. 

Edited July 7, 2023 by Lotsgoingon