Bumping into old toxic work colleagues in public

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Im sure there are some great stories out there and perhaps this topic has already been explored numerous times on this forum,  but I would like to ask again just in case it has been asked . 

 

Has anyone bumped into an old toxic coworker or boss in public? once you no longer work at the same workplace where you worked and met, of course.

What was your reaction? Did you react at all? Did they react or respond? Was it short of sweet or did you have choice words?

I would love to hear people's stories 

 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Daisy-oliviaWentcher said:

 Did they react or respond? Was it short of sweet or did you have choice words?

Did this happen to you? Probably best to keep it polite and neutral.

[glows]

No story here. Yes of course this has happened. Just remain professional. You may meet multiple times if you’re both members of a chapter or other professional association. Leave any emotions out of it. Make sure you’re moving on with your career and onto bigger things.

[Ageless Wisdom23]

Maybe Old Classmates who I Allowed on FB.  I finally years Ago, Deleted them and kept at that Time, A Husband I once had married over in E😒gypt.  Time to walk away from them.

[Alvi]

Yeah, I run into my toxic ex-boss and few toxic ex-collogues few times myself. No funny or great stories to tell. Just kept it short and sweet. A minute or two (the most) of a polite chit-chat and "Well, it was nice talking to you" and keep doing whatever that is I was doing.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

On 7/10/2023 at 1:30 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Did this happen to you? Probably best to keep it polite and neutral.

Yeah, it has happened to me. I think what's quite dominant in New Zealand culture ( I wonder if it's the same in other countries: And New Zealand is where I'm from) but there seems to be this culture of superficial pleasantries. For example, my old boss ( toxic, covert bully,( sometimes just... bully) micro-manager, passive-aggressive,  micro-aggressive and would sometimes ignore you if you even say "hi"... You get the idea) saw me outside of work recently on a public street. I haven't seen her in about a year since I left that job and she no longer works there too. She stopped and hugged me, it was so unexpected, and it took me a second there, I was thinking more or less, WTF?

She asked me "Hey we should catch up for coffee sometime" This is an example of a trite question.

I know there won't be any follow-through ( from either her end or mine- because people usually invest their time with people they WANT to invest their time in. It's what people say when they think they should say it).

 

I didn't feel comfortable with the idea but remained friendly but rather short and sweet ( and didn't let the conversation linger) I told her I was very busy and not often available due to responsibilities outside of work, and work itself is busy too. I know you're busy too and I know you can understand". 

I feel like this was only half true. I know I would invest time with people I want to invest in and make time for those people, but I couldn't exactly say "Stick your coffee up where the sun doesn't shine". So I told her to enjoy the rest of her day.  

They can be awkward situations to handle at the best of times. I know I didn't want to see her again and this is the best way I dealt with the situation, and as a weird role reversal, I probably came off as slightly passive-aggressive this time, but it was better than telling her what a piece of work she was.

[MsJayne]

Only once that I can remember.  A female boss who I busted fiddling staff superannuation, and she'd been doing it for years. She ran the company with her ex-husband, they'd agreed to keep the company together as it provided income for both of them. He trusted her to run the admin and he ran the technical side. He literally had no idea about the financial side of things and I thought he was going to have a coronary the day I sat him down and explained what she'd been doing. He ended up buying her out of her share, but she received no payment until such time as the ATO had been notified and the full extent of the superannuation debt had been tallied, (huge sum of money). After that she got nothing, (owed if anything), but, like a true scumbag, she never conceded anything and claimed it was a mistake, and even attempted to blame all the accounting staff who had come before me. Forward to six months after she'd been booted, I one day saw her outside a shop I was in.  It was one of those variety stores which you can take ages wandering around looking at cheap tat. I'd gone in there for wrapping paper and found that straight away, but then spent twenty minutes looking at every shelf in great detail while I waited for her to disappear. But, as I feigned intense interest in a decorative arrangement of sacks of dog biscuits, (I didn't have a dog, and she knew that), I could feel her eyes boring into me through the window and realised she was waiting for me, for as long as it took. There was no escape, so I paid for my paper and walked out and braced for a load of abuse. None came, on the contrary she fawned all over me and drilled me for information about the company. I told her that I couldn't share company information with her as she was no longer a director and made my excuses, (waved my wrapping paper around wildly and said I had to get to a birthday party). The whole incident was incredibly awkward, and I still wonder why I felt afraid of her that day given that she was the thief and I was the person who had caught her. I think it was her sheer audacity, the sociopathic ability to flatly refuse to acknowledge that she'd been caught stealing money from employees.

[Alpacalia]

I'm so thankful to have only encountered one creature from the underworld in my career. It was way too much having to deal with that single nightmare - she and her obnoxious pet birds.

😂

[ShyViolet]

I'm not sure if it has happened to me.  But if I encountered a former co-worker or boss who was toxic and who treated me badly, I would probably have nothing to say to them and I would just not say a word to them, just walk right on past them.