Best friends husband

[Georgiathompson]

Hi, sorry I’m very new to this and don’t know what I’m suppose to be sharing. 
2 years ago my husband (Brent) started working for one the husband (Trent) of one of the girls (Lisa) from my gym. We instantly became best friends with them, they have 4 children and we have 4 children. We went on holidays with them, spent every afternoon after work and even every weekend with them. We were inseparable. She was like a sister I never had and I had a really special relationship with the husband, we were just like magnets. I fell pregnant 2 weeks after meeting them so Easter 2022 we asked them to be her god parents when she was born. I had my baby in august last year. 
On Australia Day 2023 I started to feel something different with Trent, I could feel like our friendship was becoming stronger, we were drawn to each other more, I noticed that at the Australia Day party even though there was about 25 of us we were still sitting together and wanting to talk. Brent’s and my married was started to fall apart, we had been together for 8 years, married at 20, he has sever mental health issues (PTSD, ADHD and depression). After my children’s naming ceremony I told him I wanted a break and he tried to commit suicide so I had to stay with him out of fear my children would end up without a dad.

I started to feel so unhappy so I found I was drinking every weekend. One weekend I was quite drunk and I admitted to Lisa and Trent when they had gone home that I had a dream we all had a foursome and they just laughed at me and said how drunk I was. The following weekend I found we mentioned the foursome again and it became this big joke between us all. We played a drinking game and Trent had to give us a strip show, Lisa, Brent and I had to act out a threesome position, and the last card I had to do was text our friend saying I slept with Trent and we were all down for it saying how funny it was. We went to sex shops together and I just found we were very sexual and open couples.

In April trent started coming down to our house without Lisa and saying how unhappy he was and that he felt like they were only friends now. We all would talk about what upset us about our partners and so many times we would joke we would be partnered with the wrong person because trent and I were so similar. one night Trent came home and had had a bit to drink and we were up at his, we went home and were on FaceTime with them. We got off to watch movies. 15 minutes later trent sent me a Snapchat saying look who has fallen asleep already and I laughed and said Brent’s asleep too. We got talking about how both relationships lack affection and we both wish they would stay up to watch a movie and spend time with us rather than always falling asleep. One thing lead to another and he ended up admitting to me he found me attractive and I said I found him attractive too. We spoke on the phone until 3am where he even told me he wanted to drive his car down to mine and [have sex with] me in it”. I said no we can’t do that and just laughed it off. 
 

I went down to the coast the following week due to me having weight loss surgery, Brent stayed at home with my eldest 3 and I took my baby and mum. Whilst I was in hospital trent spoke to me the whole time, he FaceTimed me all day or was calling and texting me. Brent would ring and I really felt like I didn’t miss the emotional abuse I use to cop from him, like I really had a peaceful week. Trent was away with his sons football for 3 days and when he got home he went to kiss Lisa and she said hey mate I missed you so he felt very friendzoned. 
the day I came home from the coast we met at Trent’s sons football game, Brent came over to the car and said “take these kids they are being bad yards” and I could t even lift my baby because I couldn’t pick up 2kg, trent walked straight over, hugged me, got my pram out and my baby and I saw this massive contrast of what both men were capable of. 
that night at 11pm trent drove down to mine and I met him out the front, we said let’s kiss to see if it’s just sexual attraction ruin or if it’s something more. We kissed and we both pulled away and said “woah” we felt like we had been electrocuted and we just had to keep kissing then. He drove off and instantly called me and we spoke until 3am again. That following week I couldn’t drive since my surgery and Lisa was studying and Brent was working so they both said well Trent can drive my car and pick up all of our kids. We didn’t know how much alone time we would get but we started to realise we would actually get a lot of alone time. We felt like a big family when we were doing pick ups and drop offs together. 
I reached out to my mum who lives with me that i was thinking of leaving Brent because of the emotional abuse. On the Wednesday he went to golf and Trent came over, we watched a movie and ended up sleeping together. That afternoon Brent said he wouldn’t be home in time for pick up so asked if Trent could help again so he did. 
that night I sat Brent down and said I’m not happy and said I wanted to seperate, Brent took it better than I thought and said he was glad I put myself first for once over him or my kids. 

Mine and Brent’s separation took quite a bad turn the following week when he told us he had a dream Trent and I slept together and we denied it. I had to get a Domestic violence order from the police for mine and my children’s safety.
Trent spoke to one of his friends about having me and Lisa and said he doesn’t know what to do, this friend told him to weigh up the pros and cons of each and make his decision. He took her out for dinner and broke up with her. Brent’s drama then became too much for Trent and he took Lisa back 3 days later. 

Trent started rocking up to my house and coming through the back door unexpectedly, he would just want to kiss me or say hey. We ended up sleeping with each other again and then I went to his house for dinner and drinks. I was sitting near the fire with the girls and we downloaded a dating app so I could talk to someone. Trent became white jealous and angry and got up and walked away. Lisa followed and asked him why he was getting jealous and he said because he cares about me and the kids too much and doesn’t want to see us hurt. 

we started hanging out and talking a lot more, when I wasn’t at work I would go and help him chop firewood for his business. We started talking about him leaving Lisa and he was saying how he hadn’t felt this way before and I had either. He made me feel special and loved. He went to the pub one night and told me to come down, I was sitting with him and his friends and one of the boys was asking if I could drive him home too and winked and me and Trent said no you know she’s my girl and out his hand on my leg. All of his friends were told not to tell Lisa I was with them that night. We left the pub at 10:30 and went to the park and sat in the car talking until 1am. He was telling me I was the most beautiful girl and how happy I make him. And I genuinely believe he was telling me the truth. 
our feelings became quite strong very quickly, he told me he was so confused because he knows he wants me but he doesn’t want to leave his children. We agreed that we have both never put our happiness first so that’s what we were going to do. Lisa found out she was pregnant and when he found out he got in the car to come down to me but she made her 15 year old cousin (Flynn) go with him. Trent became angry because he just wanted to come down to me. Once she fell asleep he rang me straight away to tell me and it was just so confusing. He told me they were going to get rid of the baby and once she does that he was leaving her. 
we kept meeting up when he was saying he was going to friends houses to drink he would take a few photos with the boys then I would go and pick hiM up and he would come to mine. when he came in me for the first time he shook and said he had a weird out of body experience and had never felt like that before. We would spend the night together and fall asleep then set an alarm for 3am and he’d go home.

A week later I got a positive pregnancy test. I went up to his house when he was alone to show him, he just kissed me but I said I had to get rid of the baby as much as I never thought I would do that because I just had my surgery and he was still with Lisa. 
 

he was very supportive of me and we booked a drs app for 2 weeks time and he was coming to that. Lisa went for her abortion and the same week I started bleeding and having cramps and went to hospital and was told I was miscarrying. So we both weren’t pregnant. Trent was still talking of moving in to my house after they separated for a bit. He started looking for a house for him so he could have his kids etc then after they weren’t together for 6 months or so we were going to say we started seeing each other. we were even planning which children would sleep where in my house. 
 

Trent really stood up when Brent didn’t want anything to do with the kids. When I had sick kids he would go and pick them up from daycare and have them. When my baby was sick he had her for the whole day so I could still work then he would come pick me up from work and we just felt like a family. 
 

All the boys that work for him were told to not tell Lisa when I was out working with them because it was spreading through town that we were sleeping together and we kept denying it. Even in front of the boys he would say how beautiful I was and always make comments to me. I would go up to their house and he would brush past my bum or give me a sneaky kiss around the corners. 
 

we both decided that we should stop talking like that for a week to see if all our feelings are still there. We tried to but once again we kept getting drawn back to each other. He would come to my house just for a coffee and smoke before work or come just to say hey and then we realised we were just trying to fight against our feelings. 
lisa started making comments like Trent’s going to step up and be a father figure to your kids and things like that which we thought was very odd to say. 

He was getting deja vu every day and I was seeing angel numbers all the time and when we looked it up it was saying it’s because we are twin flames and soul mates. I had a few readings done where I was told we had been soul mates in 3 previous lifetimes and were destined to be together. 
 

We would all go to the gym together every week night. When we would finish working out Trent and I went into the sauna together a lot. People in the gym started talking about how much time we spent together. Lisa was letting him and Flynn come down to my house after work to have a shower when they didn’t have gas bottles for their hot water then we would go to the gym and then they would come back and have a shower and go home. So we were just spending so much time together.

I started getting jealous of him and Lisa so I started to make him jealous, I told him I was talking to one of his friends but his friend told me not to tell him. He got upset and kept asking who it was and I told him I wasn’t telling him. Lisa was questioning why he was getting so upset all the time. I told him the following night that I was joking and he said he was so glad because he had a dream that I was sleeping with one of his mates and he was standing at the door saying but Georgia you’re suppose to be with me.

I love playing pranks on him so I did this tik tok where the sound was like I was getting lots of messages and he turns to me and looks confused and asks who the f*** was I talking to. We then played one on him when Lisa and I went to the pub and told him I was meeting up with some guy for $2000 and he got very defensive and wasn’t happy. But Lisa just laughed and didn’t see how he was acting should have been warning signs. 
 

I started having Flynn come and help me a bit with the kids like sitting in the car when I went to the shops so I didn’t have to get all 4 kids out. Trent came over and looked sad, I asked what was wrong and he said that he had a dream I slept with Flynn and I said he is 15 years old and he said he knows that was only a dream but he admitted he gets so jealous seeing me with other people 

lisa started questioning us alot by now. We were cleaning my backyard and filling his truck with Brent’s rubbish. The next day he was coming down to get his truck and take it to the dump then go to work. When he came and took it to the dump he rocked back up, I said aren’t you going to work and he said nah I want to spend the day doing your yard and hanging out with you. So he did another 2 loads. He kissed me near my shed and said hey to my neighbour to scare me. I said what would you do if we were actually caught and he said that he would say oh well it is what it is and now everyone knows where I want to be. 

after this Lisa rang and asked where he was and he said he was down at mine and she said if he didn’t want to go to work he should be at their house sorting there stuff out. When he got off the phone he said little does she know I’m sorting out my new house. We sat down for a coffee and he had a smoke and he called our hardware store and he spoke to them for 30mins about colourbond fencing because he said when he moves in he wanted to change the fence.

he went home and Lisa has been crying but she wouldn’t tell him why: she didn’t want to come to the gym that night but Trent and Flynn still did. I convinced them to do a class which they never do and Trent kept making comments about my bum. On the Wednesday I was getting ready for work and he rang and said he wanted to pop in for a coffee so he did that and then I went to work. Then the next day I hadn’t spoken to him all morning then we drove past him in his truck and I called out to him, we end d up on the phone and I asked if he wanted to come home after he did what he wanted to do.

My friend who knew about us was at mine and while I was in an appointment they were in my kitchen talking, he told me to go to my room once I was finished so they could keep talking. Once they finished I was told to come out and give him a hug, we went and sat outside and he said he’s just so lost what he wants to do because he knows he wants to be here with me but he’s still so worried about his kids. 
 

I was told to go back inside so they could talk again. Apparently my friend said it him put Lisa, Georgia, Brent and all 8 kids aside if you think about Trent and you had Georgia and Lisa in front of you who would you pick and he said me easily. He also told her that he feels like when he’s sleeping with Lisa it feels like his friend but he feels like he makes love to me. 
 

on the Saturday I went and helped him do firewood and his friend added me on facebook. I asked who he was and he said he had a girlfriend and to not talk to him. I didn’t think he did and it was Trent not wanting me to talk to somewhere else: then I was going out drinking that night. I told Lisa to come down and have drinks even though she wasn’t going out. We were all at mine and I was wearing a nice dress, Trent said to me that he hoped I wasn’t wearing that dress because I looked good and he didn’t want guys checking me out. We all kept drinking but he took his kids to the movies then was coming back. When he was at the movies I messaged him saying I wish he was single already and we could go to the pub and I said I wanted to sleep with him. He said we still can. 
 

when he came back me and the girls went down to the pub and him and Lisa kept drinking with my mum. Lisa suspicions about us became quite full on that night. I sent him a message saying that friend of his is out and touched my ass and he sent me a sad face. I said well you don’t want me and he said you know I do. 
I rang my friend who was at home with mum because she was too drunk and said can you pick me up and she said she doesn’t want to leave mum. So I messaged Lisa and said can Trent come pick me up. 
she rang my friend and said can you pick Georgia up and she said she could even tho she told me no and Lisa asked if anything was happening between me and Trent and my friend said yes they have slept together

Trent rang me and said Lisa knows about us and she’s about to question me and I hear Lisa screaming [at] Trent” and he hung up. I was so scared so I just ran and hid in bushes. He rang me back and said she bashed him. I ended up getting picked up by police and going to Brent’s sisters house. Trent called me back and told me she wanted to kill herself.

that night I was blocked on everything of both of theirs. He was telling her it was only once and he had no feelings for me, I messaged her and told her it was multiple times and there was definitely feelings. I messaged him checking in on him and he told me to go away and he didn’t want to talk to me. He then rang me and told me I was his biggest regret and he never wants to see or speak to me again. I then heard her say and tell her she’s not allowed to call you anymore. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought she’s making him tell me this. 
 

she then wanted to know everything so I called her, i said what has he told you and he said that I manipulated him, I was just sex, I came onto him first. he only had a little bit of feelings for me nothing like what I did etc. so I told her everything and I even told her that I had been pregnant. 
 

the next day I got a text from him saying how [ ] this is and how ye regrets me and I didn’t respond to him. 
I got threats from her and her friends and I’ve been quite scared. I had 2 of our friends that were still talking to me and then everything I was telling them they were telling her and he’s denied everything. Even what my friend is saying he said to her. 
 

all week I hadn’t spoken to them and then on Sunday he drove past my house and did a u turn to come back around to see what I was doing. She has chosen to stay with him but I’ve heard it’s so doesn’t come to me and also told him he would loose his kids if he came to me. I am so lost and confused and I don’t know what to do. 

He came to drop all my things off yesterday morning but he had to stand near his truck and wasn’t allowed to talk to me and his cousin threw all my stuff on the lawn. 

Edited July 10, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[S2B]

Well - sleeping with him has cost you your marriage and friendships.

did you have a question? 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Georgiathompson said:

He came to drop all my things off yesterday morning but he had to stand near his truck and wasn’t allowed to talk to me and his cousin threw all my stuff on the lawn. 

Sorry this happened. Are you legally divorced? Is the restraining order still in place? Do you have shared custody of your children?   Do you work? Do you have other friends and family nearby to help you?

All you can do is try to get your life back together for yourself and your children. Please consider therapy and help with the drinking. 

As far as the other couple, leave them alone. 

[MsJayne]

I don't mean to be judgmental, we all make dumb mistakes, but there's no kind way to say this, so......you've betrayed all the people who you should care about. Your husband, your children, your best friend. You say Lisa was the sister you never had, so perhaps you should ask yourself why you repaid her friendship and trust with such treachery. You were eyeing up her husband long before anything happened between you, all while pretending to be her best friend.  You may have been justifying this to yourself by imagining that Trent was your soulmate, but really the only thing you had in common was boredom and dissatisfaction with your respective partners. Your post sounds as though you still hold out some hope that Trent will suddenly throw his marriage and family away and run into your arms, but the fact that he so readily threw you under the bus tells you all you need to know about Trent. He's a coward. (Was he also a coward in your previous three incarnations?😏). It also tells you that at the moment Lisa is reeling and willing to go along with his ludicrous excuses in order to protect her children from family breakdown and save face. When she recovers from this she will likely divorce the coward, and will probably take everything, which means Trent will have nothing. Would you still want Trent if he was encumbered with crippling child support payments? So much so that you end up having to support him financially to some degree? Four kids are expensive as you know, and four kids who despise you because you  broke up their family would be pretty hard to deal with as the years go by. Would you still feel like "twin flames" when Trent starts blaming you for the fact that his kids have zero respect for him? Even if Trent, in two weeks time, calls you and declares undying love and tells you he had no choice but to blame you as a way of restoring peace with Lisa, you would be a fool to go along with it. 

PS: Re the "twin flames" bit in your post......I think I saw this expression first used by actress Meghan Fox recently, in relation to her and her equally immature partner, and I would just like to point out that Meghan Fox appears to have the IQ and self-awareness of a cornflake, so I wouldn't be looking to her for expressions engendering true love.