Chloeflowers Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 (edited) So friend wants to catch up for early morning coffee at 8am on a saturday. Its great she wants to catch up and meet but 8am on a saturday doesnt appeal to me at all. I wake up at 5am every morning on weekdays for work and i prefer to sleep in for a few hours on my weekends not get up at 6 or 7 am. Of course its coffee so its in the mornings but at starbucks we can literally go later in the morning. I’m thinking she can’t go later because of her husband. Should i suggest meeting at 10am instead? Am I the a hole for not wanting to meet at 8am? I want to sleep in and rest and I think I deserve to do so Edited July 12, 2023 by Chloeflowers Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 Just ask her if you can make it a little later as you have an early appointment (or something like that). It's no big deal and I'm sure she'll be fine about it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 I agree with JTSW it's not a big deal to just tell her 8am is too early for you and ask if you can meet later. Why didn't you tell her this when she set the time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said: . I’m thinking she can’t go later because of her husband. Pick another day or time. It's really that simple. She has no reason to be upset if you can't make it at that time. Edited July 12, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 If you aren't able to successfully coordinate or handle even the simplest of things like pushing a coffee date back between friends, then you have an issue with managing things. Personally, I would have no qualms with a friend wanting to reschedule to a later time. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 Why would you be an a-hole for asking for a different time? If she can't make it at 10am, then she'll suggest a different time/date... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 Be honest and tell her that 8am is too early and you need to rest on your morning off. Is there a reason you feel anxious doing so? Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 Compromise if you need to.😉 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 On 7/12/2023 at 4:53 AM, Chloeflowers said: I want to sleep in and rest and I think I deserve to do so whoaaaa....ok, you need to work on boundaries and saying no or negotiating for something that works for the both of you. idk, are you going through something? This level of hostility and resentment isn't going to win you many friends. If you view something as an OBLIGATION from the get-go, it's not going to be fun and you will meet your friend with that same hostility and resentment. IMO, you seem to take every situation you've spoken about recently--or maybe all that i've seen from you in a very negative way...like you are an unhappy person or that you seek to find an issue with everything. You know, with friends or relationships of any kind, there can be a situation where both sides "win"...from what I've seen from you, you sort of treat every situation, including this one, that one person must WIN and the other will LOSE...ie if things aren't perfectly your way, then you are "losing". I sort of also get the feeling that you won't be happy even if this person agrees to your time either.. I think you need to get more comfortable: *Speaking up...Why things would get or need to get to the stage where you feel this upset and thinking about your right to sleep in on something that could be resolved and worked out, if only you spoke up about what works for you. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It's just logistics. It feels like you are making a mountain out of a molehill. *Maybe you need to find things to do, including friends to be around that make you happy and bring you joy. *Idk, are you this in need of attention or in a state where you would really want to make an issue needing a response from the forum on something like this? I'm not trying to make light of what you are feeling...it seems as if you are very strong willed...which doesn't match up to someone that would have trouble saying to her friend, "hey could we meet at 10am instead or compromise to 9am..or if that doesn't work for you, maybe let's do it another day". Idk, it sort of seems attention-seeking on here or that you are really going through something that you haven't expressed to us yet. I don't think things are going to go well for you if you are sort of this indignant over something so small and missing the big picture of truly connecting with friends...And if you feel this way about it/your friends, then you've got to find a way so that you don't feel like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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