Alpacalia Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 We've given you solutions. Take them, or don't. Unless you enjoy the theatrics, just move on with finding a way forward. Stick some cotton in your ears, you'll be fine. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 13, 2023 Author Share Posted July 13, 2023 Ive also learned that she is trying to hookup her nephew with my cousin. She seems to be obsessed with my family. I know why, can't hide it from me..can smell one from a mile away. Was hoping I was wrong. But this confirms it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 (edited) Smell one what??? Also @Els makes a good point. Are there any cultural differences at play here? I recognise that you're frustrated, and I completely understand.....but you might want to dial back your temper. It's out of proportion with the 'crime' and the only thing it will achieve is winding yourself up more and make you feel even worse. Take a deep breath in and out.... Edited July 13, 2023 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 5 hours ago, justaskingok said: Ive also learned that she is trying to hookup her nephew with my cousin. She seems to be obsessed with my family. More than likely it has nothing to do with you; but her daughter who is marrying into your family. She has probably raved to her mother what a great family she's marrying into. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 13 hours ago, justaskingok said: Ive also learned that she is trying to hookup her nephew with my cousin. She seems to be obsessed with my family. Just don't go anywhere near her. Keep your distance. If you say 'that not possible', it absolutely IS possible. You don't have to be around her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 14 hours ago, justaskingok said: I have ten aunts. not including my great aunts. Not including my uncle's. I don't need this lady in my ear geez. I'm not sure if you're looking for advice or if you're just venting? Sure, vent all you want. But practically speaking, fighting with family almost never solves anything. It might make you feel better temporarily, but it usually makes things worse long term. Many of us deal far more successfully with annoying in laws by just keeping our distance from them. Fighting is the child's way of "solving" a problem... being civil but maintaining healthy boundaries is the adult method. Your choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 14, 2023 Author Share Posted July 14, 2023 (edited) I was seated at the same table as her. And i will again soon, So no, its not always possible to avoid her right now, and I do have to be around her. I have no control of the seating arrangements. how do you suppose it's possible keep my distance when we are seated at the same tables? 3 hours ago, JTSW said: Just don't go anywhere near her. Keep your distance. If you say 'that not possible', it absolutely IS possible. You don't have to be around her. Edited July 14, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 5 hours ago, justaskingok said: I was seated at the same table as her. And i will again soon, So no, its not always possible to avoid her right now, and I do have to be around her. I have no control of the seating arrangements. how do you suppose it's possible keep my distance when we are seated at the same tables? It's not just about physical distance, you also use your words and not let people walk all over you. You are not obligated to let this woman disrespect you and just smile and nod and pretend it's ok. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 22 hours ago, justaskingok said: Ive also learned that she is trying to hookup her nephew with my cousin. She seems to be obsessed with my family. I know why, can't hide it from me..can smell one from a mile away. Was hoping I was wrong. But this confirms it. Try to relax. This one has nothing to do with you and is not your problem, so no reason to get so worked up over it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 (edited) 9 hours ago, justaskingok said: I was seated at the same table as her. And i will again soon, So no, its not always possible to avoid her right now, and I do have to be around her. I have no control of the seating arrangements. how do you suppose it's possible keep my distance when we are seated at the same tables? You could ask the Groom (your cousin) to not sit you at the table with her. There, solved that for ya. There's always a solution. You can also ask your family if this woman is invited to future events and then don't go. You really don't have to be around her. Edited July 14, 2023 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 15, 2023 Author Share Posted July 15, 2023 (edited) others already tried requested seating changes and they got annoyed and said people are going to sit where they place them and that's it. They don't need to be bothered with such things considering they got a whole event to plan. I have to be around her, period. Its inevitable that i will be around her/ bump into her. what to say, or handle her when she brings up her son and I is the main thing I'm concerned about. Edited July 15, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 40 minutes ago, justaskingok said: others already tried requested seating changes and they got annoyed and said people are going to sit where they place them and that's it. They don't need to be bothered with such things considering they got a whole event to plan. I have to be around her, period. Its inevitable that i will be around her/ bump into her. what to say, or handle her when she brings up her son and I is the main thing I'm concerned about. If you're at a wedding, you must be on your best behaviour. It would be the wrong time and the wrong place to call her out. If you don't trust yourself to behave, then skip the wedding 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 15, 2023 Author Share Posted July 15, 2023 7 hours ago, ShyViolet said: Try to relax. This one has nothing to do with you and is not your problem, so no reason to get so worked up over it. Right? Like, am I overreacting? Am I just being mean? Why does this cause me to be so angry. There's other things about her that she's done and said but still it's just like.....who cares. When I can't be honest with someone and say what I feel what needs to be said...it causes me so much anxiety. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 (edited) 16 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Right? Like, am I overreacting? Am I just being mean? Why does this cause me to be so angry. There's other things about her that she's done and said but still it's just like.....who cares. When I can't be honest with someone and say what I feel what needs to be said...it causes me so much anxiety. I understand you being annoyed, but she's not saying anything which is actually mean or hurtful. If anything, it's a compliment. I think your anger is out of proportion with the problem. Edited July 15, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 In my experience, one of the most effective ways of dealing with this type of person is to just ignore them. They say something offensive or stupid, and I just don't respond verbally. It upsets them more than an articulate response would, it takes very little energy, and it conveys to everyone else in the vicinity the fact that you don't agree with what the person is saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts