flyingsquirrel Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 I (25) breakup from my relationship with my boyfriend (30). He is total fine from the beginning, discipline, have a strict routines (work, gym, active at church), excellent character, but still lives with his parents. We have known for each other since March 2022, and closer since June 2022 until this month. He's been a very nice supporter for my unscheduled routine (because I am a social worker, specifically at church). He is an introvert, I am an extrovert. He doesn't really like me being social butterfly (in a good way), especially with other guy one-on-one. He was really committed with our relationship. Meanwhile, I am not. Several times, I asked to end up our relationship. When we had an argument, I asked to breakup, but he stays. Until last time (10/07), he agreed to break up. This really breaks my heart, I don't know what to do. What should I do to convince him that I love him and stop asking for break up? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 I don't understand. If you constantly ask for a break up why are you now upset that he's asking for a break up? You guys need to break up and stop talking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 (edited) Stop playing games OP. You are making no sense here at all. You said you weren't committed to your relationship and continually asked to break up. Now he has agreed and you're heartbroken? That does not make any sense. It was what you wanted. I'm guessing that asking for a break up you were hoping for something else to happen, like maybe you wanted him to grovel, move to you, propose etc. But that didn't happen and now you're butthurt. Don't start messing with his head now about it. Accept that you got what you asked for and move on. Edited July 13, 2023 by JTSW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyingsquirrel Posted July 13, 2023 Author Share Posted July 13, 2023 actually I love him and wanted to stop that behavior, please tell how to stop it and get back together??😔 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 Just now, flyingsquirrel said: actually I love him and wanted to stop that behavior, please tell how to stop it and get back together??😔 You wont get back together. You pushed for a break up for so long so he gave up and gave you what you asked for. Asking him back is not fair on him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 (edited) 23 minutes ago, flyingsquirrel said: actually I love him and wanted to stop that behavior, please tell how to stop it and get back together??😔 Why didn't you stop that behavior? People get sick and bored of games and that makes them fall out of love. Your ex has probably fallen out of love with you by now. He wants someone who knows what she wants and sticks with it. Can you blame him? Edited July 13, 2023 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyingsquirrel Posted July 13, 2023 Author Share Posted July 13, 2023 I don't know why and since when I started it, but I wanted to stop.. please tell me what to do?? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 (edited) 8 minutes ago, flyingsquirrel said: I don't know why and since when I started it, but I wanted to stop.. please tell me what to do?? Why did you keep breaking up with him? There must be reasons. Why does he still live with his parents? Is he unemployed or is something wrong with him? Obviously there's no future if he still lives like a child. Reflect and be honest with yourself about the real reasons you kept ending it. It seems like you're quite lonely and that's the only reason you're panicking. You've already determined how incompatible you are. Edited July 13, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 1 hour ago, flyingsquirrel said: I don't know why and since when I started it, but I wanted to stop.. please tell me what to do?? All you can do is beg and plead for him to give you another chance. The chances of him taking you back are slim to none at this point. There is a lesson to be learned from this and I hope you got it. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 5 hours ago, flyingsquirrel said: I don't know why and since when I started it, but I wanted to stop.. please tell me what to do?? Get yourself to a good therapist to understand why you behave this way, and work towards accepting that the relationship is over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 On top of all your requests to end it, you also said that he's really committed to the relationship and that you are not. If he wrote to us here, we'd unanimously tell him to stay away from you. He deserves better. The only thing you can do is therapy to better understand your own actions. It may well be that he wasn't the right guy for you anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 9 hours ago, flyingsquirrel said: I don't know why and since when I started it, but I wanted to stop.. please tell me what to do?? You make an appointment to go and see a professional counsellor, or a psychologist. They'll help you to understand why you engage in this behaviour, and then they'll (probably) encourage you to do a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 18 hours ago, flyingsquirrel said: please tell me what to do?? There is nothing you can do. You pushed and pushed until you got what you wanted and now you have to accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 On 7/13/2023 at 9:02 AM, flyingsquirrel said: actually I love him and wanted to stop that behavior, please tell how to stop it and get back together??😔 No. Basically what you are asking is how to force yourself to be committed to the relationship and want to stay in it, when that is not truly what your feelings are. That is not how it works. You need to stop playing games and accept that the relationship needed to end. If it was working then you wouldn't have tried to break up with him repeatedly. That shows what your true feelings were in the relationship. You and him weren't compatible. Stop wasting his time and accept reality. It wasn't working and it's not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 Take a BREAK instead. See how that goes.😉 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts