Should I block or just move on?

[faithandfood]

So I met this guy on Hinge last month early June. I noted his on page: short term relationship, open to long-term. He just moved to my city from Baltimore so I’m guessing he doesn’t want to be tied down. Plus I was like well okay that’s fine because I wasn’t rushing to get anything serious. I’m 25, he’s 24. We went on five dates and had sex three times (had it on 4th date). 

I last saw him on 4th of July with. And the red flag I noted here was there was a towel on his bed and the pillows were off. So it seemed like he had someone over. I didn’t pry about it since we weren’t exclusive. Anyways, I went on a trip last weekend and all he wished was drive safe, which I responded to. He didn’t check on me throughout the trip and since I came back. Tuesday makes it a week since we had an actual conversation. He’s just been watching my Insta and Snap stories since. Kinda hurt, he said he liked me several times so I’m unsure if I should block. I just muted him from my stories as of now.

Unsure of what I did but I guess he doesn’t want to be tied down since he’s only been in my city for a month? There were other red/yellow flags I noticed like him joking about how I small I am and being physically rough with horseplay. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking.

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, faithandfood said:

. He didn’t check on me throughout the trip and since I came back. Tuesday makes it a week since we had an actual conversation. 

Sorry this happened. Yes delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. He seems to just be looking for no-strings sex and it sounds more like you would like a relationship that involves some respect, caring and consistency. It's best not to settle for things then hope they become more.

[smackie9]

Always listen to you gut instinct. Sounds like he's got lots of other action going on. Not really cool to be a part of that. 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, faithandfood said:

I noted his on page: short term relationship,

That's what he meant, short term relationship so it's already over.  Your definition of short relationship was probably different.

[basil67]

6 hours ago, faithandfood said:

And the red flag I noted here was there was a towel on his bed and the pillows were off. So it seemed like he had someone over. I didn’t pry about it since we weren’t exclusive. Anyways, I went on a trip last weekend and all he wished was drive safe, which I responded to. He didn’t check on me throughout the trip and since I came back. Tuesday makes it a week since we had an actual conversation. He’s just been watching my Insta and Snap stories since. Kinda hurt, he said he liked me several times so I’m unsure if I should block. I just muted him from my stories as of now.

Why did you presume that someone else had slept in the bed rather consider than he simply hadn't made it?

Did you contact him during your holiday?  Perhaps he didn't want to be intrusive and was letting you take the lead?  Did you send him any photos while you were away or check in with him?  Did you send him a message to say you were back home?  

Regarding horseplay, have you told him that you don't like it?

At this point, your approach seems very passive and reliant on mind reading and assumptions.  If you want to make a relationship work, you need to communicate.  And being proactive never goes astray

[ExpatInItaly]

9 hours ago, faithandfood said:

He didn’t check on me throughout the trip

Did you reach out to him at all? Or do you generally wait for him to contact you first? 

[Ageless Wisdom23]

He may be a player.  I don't think I would have had sex with him.  I would have enjoyed more 😉of the challenge and the chase with a guy like this.  It is obvious he is not into anything steady.  I would not block him but instead if you do go out again with Him, No sex.  He is probably doing other girls.  Playing the female field.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, faithandfood said:

. I didn’t pry about it since we weren’t exclusive. 

You don't need some tomcat prowling around, do you?  

[faithandfood]

13 hours ago, basil67 said:

Why did you presume that someone else had slept in the bed rather consider than he simply hadn't made it?

Did you contact him during your holiday?  Perhaps he didn't want to be intrusive and was letting you take the lead?  Did you send him any photos while you were away or check in with him?  Did you send him a message to say you were back home?  

Regarding horseplay, have you told him that you don't like it?

At this point, your approach seems very passive and reliant on mind reading and assumptions.  If you want to make a relationship work, you need to communicate.  And being proactive never goes astray

He wished me drive safe and I said thanks. He stopped replying. He watched all my stories throughout the weekend and up until Thursday.
 

With the horseplay, I did communicate. 
 

With the bed, there was a towel in the middle… I don’t know what else that would indicate.

Edited July 15, 2023 by faithandfood

[basil67]

I don't really understand how much direct communication you tried...

But to me, a towel in the middle of the bed suggests nothing more than him being messy

[Alpacalia]

Yes. I wouldn't worry about what the towel meant. Could be nothing.

At this point though given the limited communication and interest it seems like he's not particularly interested in taking things further. As such, blocking him or not really doesn't make a difference in terms of what you hope to get out of this relationship. If it's making you feel uncomfortable, then go ahead and block him. Otherwise, I'd just move on and focus on either other potential relationships or other aspects of your life.

[ExpatInItaly]

16 hours ago, faithandfood said:

He wished me drive safe and I said thanks. He stopped replying

Meaning, you messaged him and he ignored you? 

[glows]

Lol are you suggesting he had sex on a towel? Seems a little neurotic ..for that reason.. a big fat nope to anything long term. 

In all seriousness why not reach out and ask about how he’s settling in? I’d keep expectations low and plan to be amused. He’s new and worried about his sheets.

[Wiseman2]

On 7/15/2023 at 11:23 AM, faithandfood said:

With the bed, there was a towel in the middle… I don’t know what else that would indicate.

Bedbugs or pubic lice? But seriously, just view this as a brief adventure, not worth pursuing. You'll find someone who's a better fit in time, but try not to waste time on "short term" guys like this.