Lonely83 Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 I’m friends with a girl on Facebook whom I’ve never met in person. I came across her profile one day and her photo caught my eye. I looked around her page and from what I could see I knew I wanted to be friends with her. So eventually I friended her which she promptly accepted. We are both divorced and single. Seem to love a lot of the same things. Over the past few months I’ve tried starting a conversation with her over messenger to which I just get ignored. She likes a lot of my post and I like most of hers. We’ve had a few minor interactions in post threads and over messenger. Usually just a thanks for a nice comment. For some reason I’m really drawn to her. Not in a weird way but in a love at first sight way I guess. The few subtle messages I sent to try and initiate conversation are ignored, but yet she still keeps me as a friend. I’m not looking for one night stands or even a relationship right away. I’d love to meet her in person just to see if we was right for each other. But first I need to chit chat to get to that point. If I was annoying her I would assume she would just block me but she don’t. I’m middle aged and not good at the whole online dating thing. I’ve been polite and simple and I haven’t rushed anything. How do I get her to open up? Even if she would just say she’s not interested then I’d know where she stood and I’d leave her alone. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 Why haven’t you simply asked her out to dinner? Plan a date and ask her!!! she can say yes or no - then you have an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 Is she on any of the same dating apps you're on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonely83 Posted July 16, 2023 Author Share Posted July 16, 2023 (edited) I have asked her out. I never received a answer. Edited July 16, 2023 by Lonely83 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 8 minutes ago, Lonely83 said: I have asked her out. I never received a answer. Sorry this happened. Unfortunately not much you can do from there as far as this woman. What you can do is get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a low-key coffee or drink. At least on dating apps you'll know they're available and looking to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 16, 2023 Share Posted July 16, 2023 If I were in your shoes, I would have tried to get to know her a bit by chatting and developing some rapport. Then I would check if she was open to exchanging contact information and furthering the conversation. In the case of someone you already know or with whom you are currently seeing, I would understand the comfort level in sending a direct message and asking her out. However, as an online stranger, it wouldn't make me feel comfortable to ask someone out after limited conversation. If she hasn't replied to your invitation for a date through an IM, wait a few days and then approach her indirectly. Send her an easier message to check in on her or ask her opinion on something. To get a better idea of her potential interest in an in-person date, this is a great way to try. Should you still get no response, just look for another person you can date. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 You've already tried talking to her through messenger and asking her out. She ignores the messages. That is your answer... she's not interested. There is no way to "make" her open up. Accept that she's not interested and move on. The fact that she likes a lot of your FB posts means absolutely nothing. That doesn't mean that she would want to meet up in person. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 (edited) You were a complete stranger to her and she accepted your friend request. 🧐 I imagine most social media users are like me and block friend requests from people who don't have some kind of connection to us. That she accepted your request suggests to me that she's likely to be some kind of influencer or model or just loves attention. How many friends does she have? I bet you're one of many who also reach out to her and she's adept at keeping her numbers of followers up without actually having to meet any of them. Also, it's highly likely that she's crafted her own persona and her online presence doesn't reflect reality. Best to keep yourself in real life and ignore the attention seekers Edited July 17, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 It seems like he initiated contact, so it appears he isn't opposed to connecting with her. Back before Facebook, this happened to a female friend of mine on a different social media platform when a man she never interacted with before befriended her. She's an art teacher for grade school and he's a musician. They've been married with children for 12 years now. 😉 My advice would be to be polite, be friendly, but not get too attached. Generally, don't assume that this connection will lead to anything real beyond a mutual online connection. Who knows, something might come of it though. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 She could still be married or living with someone. Ask her out and don’t bother with chit chat. You’ve already likely seen a lot of photos of one another and are aware of some shared interests. Not clear here why you’re stalling. I used to tune out people who did this online. If there was no date within the first few minutes of matching I wasn’t interested any longer - time waster. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 How do I say this nicely. Sending an IM to a complete stranger to ask for a date is wimpy and rude. If I received an IM from a complete stranger asking for a date I would be flattered but I would also be a bit uncomfortable that a total stranger reached out in this manner. And no, liking a few posts is not "getting to know someone." Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 (edited) Google "sliding into DMs". It's popular but has drawbacks. The biggest one is it could be construed as creepy. The other is it's common so people's inboxes are full of them. The other is it could look like a scammer or someone who's just lazy or bored or too broke to get on a quality dating apps. So I wouldn't recommend this approach. As you've seen, it's not very effective. Edited July 17, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 Firstly, Make sure she is the Real Deal. To Me, This Raises a Red Flag with what you are saying. No conversations, Other Such Signs. Even find out if you can call her on FB. She may not be who He or She says they are. Please.....Do some homework. I am dealing with someone I used to be with With🤥 is experiencing something similar now. Link to post Share on other sites
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