Does it sound like my ex might try to reconcile at some point?

[ATM]

This might be long winded, but I’m in need of advice and feel pretty low today. So, here goes.  Back at the beginning of 2022, I met the girl of my dreams. I have never loved another human the way I loved her. It was the first relationship where I honestly did not see an end. We dated a little over a year and she sort of “flipped a switch” and broke up with me in April (3 months now). She acted normal up until our last day. When we were breaking up, I made it clear I didn’t want to end it. I wanted to fix our issues. She stated she didn’t see herself making it work “as of right now,” but that “maybe in the future we will connect up again.” She even told me she’d still text me sometimes. However, I didn’t beg and when the dust settled, I went full “no contact.” I’ll also throw in a side note here, I treated her like an absolute queen. Her friends and family told me that they loved me and how I was so kindhearted to her. Even when we were splitting, she was crying hard and said “I’m crying because you’ve done more for me than any other person ever has.” But, she also said the spark was gone and it was best to end our relationship.. 

So, since the breakup.. it didn’t take long and she’s dating someone else (I assume rebound), keep in mind we dated over a year and have only been apart 3 months and she’s already introducing someone else to her immediate family, according to social media. But, about a week ago, she texted me stating that she had put in requests for someone to work on something at the house we had and needed to know if I had heard from the contractors. She’s listed as primary renter and me as a subleaser, so I’m assuming since she was the one to request and since she’s primary renter, she should know they’ll call her and not me. So I sort of wondered if this opener was just a subtle reason to start contact?? Maybe I’m giving myself false hope though.. Anyway, this opener sort of created a short conversation between us.. she was showing me pictures of her pets, new dog, asking me how I was doing with things, but also asked “where had I been?” I responded politely, but didn’t beg or ask her any questions. 
 

This exchange was a week ago and she’s back to silence. I did ask a few friends their opinions, if this exchange was a benign and innocent question or if she’s “testing waters” for a circle back. Everyone seemed to think she’s wanting to maybe come back and maybe her current relationship is starting to falter, but this exchange was more subtle than directly asking to rekindle yet. I don’t want to give myself false hope though, because if I’m completely honest, I still have feelings and I still have no doubt with effort, we could have overcome our issues. There was no infidelity on my part or her part. We rarely argued and when we did, we apologized and came to our senses quickly. Maybe it’s worth noting, I was her first long and serious relationship. I was the first guy she slept with, took to meet her extended family, several states away, first guy to sign a lease with her.. so maybe she just got cold feet? 
 

I can honestly say, every ex girlfriend I’ve had thus far, has circled back and apologized or brought our breakup up in a conversation at some point. Most took months, so if I’m honest, in my heart, I hope she’ll follow this rule. 
 

She had repeatedly told me things like “you’re the most selfless and kindest human I’ve ever met” and constantly told me how much she loved me and that she had “never missed someone so much” when I’d head back to my place after a weekend.. How can all of that just evaporate and her just drop me so easily? I need advice on what this last little exchange looks like.. also, she still hits like on some of my instagram stories too and from what I’ve seen, she deleted all her previous exs from her social media, after the breakup. 

[stillafool]

Welcome to LS.  Usually when someone breaks up with us saying "the spark is gone" they mean it.  Especially if you have been treating her like a queen and there aren't any issues in the relationship.  It sounds like she just wasn't feeling it anymore.  She is not in a rebound relationship.  Rebounds normally happen to the dumpee (you), not the dumper (her) because she was the one who wanted to breakup.  She may have developed feelings for her now bf while in a relationship with you which may be why she asked to end it.  It's normal to be curious about what you ex has been up to since the breakup but doesn't mean they want you back.  

[SurfCity]

4 hours ago, ATM said:

I was her first long and serious relationship. I was the first guy she slept with, took to meet her extended family, several states away, first guy to sign a lease with her..

Are you two the same age? If you're 15-20 years older than her, it's not surprising that it ended. 

Very few people end up with their first love, that may be a significant reason for why it ended with you. 

[ATM]

4 hours ago, SurfCity said:

Are you two the same age? If you're 15-20 years older than her, it's not surprising that it ended. 

Very few people end up with their first love, that may be a significant reason for why it ended with you. 

We’re the exact same age. Both in our twenties. I just thought I was pretty secure after we signed a lease and I had been so many firsts to her. 

[basil67]

I'm hoping for a bit more context. 

Did she give a reason why she ended it?   What were the issues which needed fixing?   Just I'm having trouble reconciling your glowing report of the relationship with also having unresolved issues.

To be honest, meeting someone three months out of the relationship is quite a decent timeline.   Thing is, it's much easier for the dumper to move on because they had already made the decision to move on.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, ATM said:

, she also said the spark was gone and it was best to end our relationship.. .. it didn’t take long and she’s dating someone else.

Sorry this happened. She seems quite immature and confused. She wants to date others and even mentioned wanting to date other girls.   It sounds like she was cheating towards the end.

She seems to want to stay friends. However she's still just using you. Please step back and reflect on moving forward. It's unfortunate you invested this much. 

[ExpatInItaly]

14 hours ago, ATM said:

I can honestly say, every ex girlfriend I’ve had thus far, has circled back and apologized or brought our breakup up in a conversation at some point

And where are those exes now? Apologizing or talking about the break-up isn't the same as asking for reconciliation. 

I don't think this one is going to come back and ask to reunite, I'm afraid. It sounds like you were more into her than she was into you (at least towards the end) and she knew the right thing to do was let you go. I don't read any signs of hoping to rekindle in what she wrote you. She asked a legitimate question and followed up with a few pleasantries. That's all. It was friendly, maybe to soothe her conscience for hurting you, but that's where it ends. 

I'm sorry. It know that's not what you are hoping to hear but I believe you're grasping at straws here. 

[Bue-aidez]

Did she give a proper reason as to why she decided to end things? Other than "the spark is gone"? I think you'd have to find out from her since you guys are on speaking terms. Better you know than assume and assume wrong. 

[ATM]

15 hours ago, basil67 said:

I'm hoping for a bit more context. 

Did she give a reason why she ended it?   What were the issues which needed fixing?   Just I'm having trouble reconciling your glowing report of the relationship with also having unresolved issues.

To be honest, meeting someone three months out of the relationship is quite a decent timeline.   Thing is, it's much easier for the dumper to move on because they had already made the decision to move on.

I’m equally as confused. I’m certainly not lying or exaggerating when I say everything literally seemed okay. Then, one day she said she need a break, to figure out if she was in love. I gave her the break, then a week later she said we needed to end the relationship. As far as reasons, she said there was “no spark,” but, does it really take a year, signing a lease together, marriage talk, talk of having kids, going on trips.. to determine this? This is my confusion. She also told me that 60% of the reason was she was unsure of her sexuality and wanted to go “experiment.” But that “maybe in the future we will connect up again.” As far as meeting someone three months out, I completely agree. However, that wasn’t the case from what I saw. She was apparently talking to other people within 3-4 days of breaking up with me and then this current person is who she met in this timeframe. 
 

My thoughts are that she wants to keep me on good terms and tabs on me, so that if the experiment or current relationship fails, she’ll have a standby. Maybe this is just wishful thinking though, because I do truly love her. I can’t help that much.